Jarhead Page #6

out of your system?

Whose watch was that,

Swofford?

It was mine.

It was yours.

But since you don't know

how to handle

responsibility...

we are demoting you.

You are now a private.

You think you're the only one

that's bored around here?

Because when this war begins,

and it will begin...

I don't want you

covering my ass.

So guess what's next?

(Swoff)

Instructions for the

effective burning of shitters.

The Marine will need

the following:

One metal fence post,

one pair of welder's gloves...

[flies buzzing]

Five gallons of diesel fuel,

and one box of matches.

Hold it right there, Marine.

So you are the f***ing idiot

who tried to

burn down my camp.

Yes, sir.

Stick that back in there.

It's already full

of diesel fuel, sir.

I don't care

if it's full of Chanel No. 5.

I'm not going to

the other side of this camp

for my morning glory.

Stick that f***er

back in there.

(Lincoln)

I'm waiting.

[Flies buzzing]

I left you a little gift

in there.

Not too hard, not too soft.

Perfect.

Thank you, sir.

Happy holidays, Private.

Done.

[Clicking]

Done.

Again.

Again.

Done.

Done.

How many is that, Cortez?

Twenty-six in a row.

What would you say

if I told you

I was gonna kill you...

for f***ing me over like that?

I already told you,

it was an accident.

An accident.

Right.

Like when this trigger slips.

Of course, your nice little

mom and dad are where?

Cottonwood Falls.

Cottonwood Falls.

They'll be sad.

They won't have

their little boy to

send f***ing cookies to.

I'll say it was

an accidental discharge.

I might even spend some time

in the brig...

but I'll end

this f***ing waiting.

And I'll know what it's like

to kill a man.

What are you doing?

I'm in the firing position

known as the sitting position.

After the prone position,

it is the platform

most likely...

to enable a Marine

to effectively

kill his target.

His target being a human,

generally an enemy...

but sometimes a friend

or friendly.

We call this friendly fire,

or friendly f***ing...

or getting friendly f***ed.

Come on, Swoff,

it was your watch.

It was Christmas Eve,

and I was just sitting there

thinking about home.

That's it.

What do you think, Cortez?

You think I'll accidentally

kill your homeboy

from boot camp?

Sure you'll kill him.

Accidents happen.

You don't see sh*t, right?

I don't see sh*t.

This ain't even my tent.

As a matter of fact,

I ain't even here, Swoff.

[Breathing heavily]

What are you doing, man?

The M16A2 service rifle

is a lightweight...

air-cooled, gas-operated,

magazine-fed shoulder weapon.

It fires a 5.56 mm

ball projectile...

muzzle velocity

This is my rifle.

Repeat after me.

Repeat after me.

Repeat after me!

This is my rifle.

There you go. That's right.

[Fergus crying]

Say the f***ing words!

There are many like it.

There are many like it.

But this one is mine.

Without my rifle,

I am nothing.

Say it, you f***ing idiot!

No.

This is my rifle!

There are many like it,

but this one is mine!

Without my rifle,

I am nothing.

This is...

No, come on!

Shut the f*** up.

Shut the f*** up.

Shut the f*** up

and repeat after me!

Without me, I'm...

This is my rifle.

There are many like it!

Without me, my rifle

is nothing! F***ing say it!

Repeat after me!

Repeat after me!

Without my rifle,

I am nothing!

I am nothing!

I am nothing.

Shut the f*** up.

I'm nothing.

Shut the f*** up.

Shut the f*** up.

Get up.

F***, shoot me, then.

F***ing shoot me!

Shoot me in the f***ing face!

I don't want to.

Do you f***ing see

how hard it is?

You shoot me

in the f***ing face,

you f***ing f*ggot!

No, I don't want to.

Friendly f***ing fire!

Shoot me, you f***ing p*ssy!

No.

F***!

F***.

[Panting]

F***. F***. F***.

So you had a round

in the chamber?

You were locked and loaded?

I messed up, man.

Look at him.

He's f***ing shaking.

Fergus, get up here.

I messed up, man.

Okay.

Look at him.

[Grunts]

You f***ing do that again,

and I will shoot you myself.

All right?

Well?

[Voice catching]

I'm sorry, man.

[Distant explosion sounds]

What was that?

It might be an echo.

[Distant explosion sounds]

No, it's not. I hear it, too.

Call it in. See if there are

friendlies in the area.

Lima 2 Charlie.

Lima 2 Charlie.

This f***ing sh*t

is f***ed, man.

Army has satellites,

and we have this f***ing sh*t.

Better off sending

smoke signals, man.

All right, guys,

spread it out.

[Whispering]

Troy. Troy.

Who are they, man?

I don't know.

They got RPGs

under their robes, man.

If they've got

anthrax in there,

we're gonna f***ing melt.

[Both speaking in Spanish]

[Mumbling in Arabic]

Form a line!

Okay.

What do we do now?

(Swoff)

Looks like they wanna talk.

Yeah? How you gonna do that?

[Speaking in Arabic]

That's his left hand.

Shoot him!

Easy, easy, easy.

Hold your fire.

[Speaking in Arabic]

(Troy)

Swoff, what are you doing?

Swoff!

Guys, cover him.

(Marine)

F***ing crazy motherf***er.

[Swoff speaking in Arabic]

What's up, man?

[Man speaking in Arabic]

What?

What is he doing?

(Swoff)

Calm down.

What the f*** is he doing?

Don't f***ing touch the rifle!

Back up! Back the f*** up!

No fire.

No fire!

[Camels grunting]

What did he say?

Someone shot their camels.

What?

Someone

shot their camels, man.

(Troy)

Eight men for five camels.

Swoff spoke Arabic.

Sounded like a duck f***ing

or something,

but he spoke Arabic.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But at least

we finally saw something.

You guys should see

what the. 40 does...

to the head

of a f***ing camel, though.

What does the. 40 do

to the head of a camel,

Fowler?

It turns the head inside out

in about three f***ing knots.

The head shot's

like a motherf***er, too.

It's easy shots, slow...

Boom!

[Imitating splattering]

[Laughing]

[Vehicle honking]

Oh, sh*t!

Wow! Here they are!

My lady love!

Show's starting, boys!

Hey, teach me

some of that Arabic.

What's "Come suck my dick"?

[Talking gibberish]

.. ducks f***ing...

Drop the zero,

get with the hero.

I like you.

Sit down, Fowler.

That's the one. You saw.

She'll never forget me, man.

It's not funny, man.

That b*tch wanted me.

Did you see that?

You truly are an a**hole.

Come on, man.

You just haven't got

to kill anything yet.

That's your problem, man.

Don't f***ing touch me.

You'll get to kill something

sometime.

Your day will come, man.

Your day will come.

Listen up!

I'm about to read to you

what Mr. Saddam Hussein...

has just said

to the Iraqi people.

And you better not

consider this

a bunch of bullshit.

"The mother of all battles

is upon us.

"The sacrifices

the Iraqi people will make...

"are equal to the importance

of the victory.

"Kuwait is the branch

that must be returned

to the tree.

"The blood of the infidels

will flow like a river.

"Jihad is the way

of all Arab people. "

We are now

Operation Desert Storm.

And we're the f***ing

righteous hammer of God.

And that hammer

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