Jason Nash Is Married Page #4

always,

because my job is to make things

better for the two of you.

Busy tells me that sometimes

you find her to be controlling.

- Uh...

- I think that's far.

- Yeah.

Okay, yeah, sometimes I do

find her a little controlling.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Well, that can be a tough thing,

and believe it or not,

I'm that way

with my wife sometimes.

- Oh, yeah.

- Shoot.

You know what? I'm sorry.

I think I left my phone

in the waiting room.

I'm just gonna grab it.

Two seconds.

- Mm-hmm.

- Come right back.

- I will. Of course.

- Okay.

- Come here.

Come here.

Listen, dude, I want you to know

that I totally have your back.

Okay?

No matter what is said in here,

I'm on your side, bro.

Okay?

Do you know what I'm saying?

- What do you mean?

- What do I mean?

She's in her own world.

Look, we're a couple of guys.

Dudes back each other up, okay?

We're dudes.

I'm gonna back you up.

- Oh, no, no,

you don't have to do that.

- No, I'm going to do it.

- No, no, no, that's okay.

- Shut up. Here she comes.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you.

Sorry. Embarrassing.

- Any calls? Everything okay?

- Oh, no, I just didn't want

to leave it

because I have lost,

like, four phones.

- So, Jason, go on.

- Um, well, yeah, she's

a little controlling sometimes,

in that, you know,

I just kind of...

it feels like it encroaches on

my freedom a little bit and...

- Mm-hmm.

Do you feel that's

an accurate characterization?

Do you feel that sometimes

you are controlling with Jason?

- Well, yeah.

I mean, to be fair,

we have two children.

We have a lot of responsibility.

- Yep.

- I'm the one that... I mean...

- she makes all the money.

- Right.

I'm over here,

and I'm doing this thing,

and I'm over there,

and I'm doing that thing,

and I'm parenting the kids,

and so when I ask you to pick up

milk, it's not an order.

It's not me being controlling

when I ask you

to come home at 10:00 P.M.,

as opposed to staying out

till 3:
00.

- Right, right.

I just have... I'm working

when I'm out that late.

I mean, I'm, like,

doing stand-up.

- I mean, like,

hanging out in a club is work.

- I don't know.

- Yeah.

- I don't know.

- A big component of your job,

as I understand it,

is hanging out.

There's a lot of...

there's a social component

to stand-up comedy that is...

it's being in those clubs,

and that's a big part

of how connections are made,

getting work

and securing future work.

- I just haven't thought of it

that way.

- That's right.

- Like, it was more...

- you know, I'm sure

you would be able to tell busy

that there's an unpleasantness

to this hanging out.

You wish you could be home

sometimes.

But that...

it's all part of the...

it's all part of the business.

- Do you see why I love him?

Isn't he the best?

- He's the best! This is great.

Dr. Glenn!

I know I should've said

something about Dr. Glenn,

but it was so much easier

not saying something.

- I don't know.

I just have never thought about

it like that before.

- GIVE HIM SOME SPACE TO SELL

THIS SHOW ADVENTURE BABY.

Just... he's so close.

- See, with Dr. Glenn

on my side,

busy eased off a bunch.

- It's a little bit more simple.

And then...

- I told you, you do the tiles.

I don't care.

I don't have an opinion, and

I have to get this pitch done

FOR ADVENTURE BABY.

I don't... I don't even know

what I'm doing.

Listen, this guy's the man.

Whatever he says goes.

You're driving the ship.

And it made no sense

to say anything

because we were getting along

better than ever.

Looking good.

That's the old...

that's the old nightie.

That's our

little action nightie.

And busy was tough.

You know?

You needed two people to...

I don't even think

I have to come anymore.

I feel like mostly the work

is being done over here.

- I'm sorry.

- Hey, you know, there's no

right and wrong here.

We're in it together, you know.

- Buddy, oh!

- Exactly. Thank you.

Have you heard about this thing,

your mourn?

- No. What is that?

What does that mean?

- Your mourn.

It's like, if I died, who would

you go to for consoling?

And then, like, ultimately,

who would you be with?

Like, who's your mourn?

- That's not a...

I don't think that's a thing.

- It is a thing.

I thought of it.

- OH.

Well, there you go.

It's not a thing.

- I'm trying

to get it out there.

I think it's a good thing.

It's kind of interesting.

Who's your mourn?

Who would... who's yours?

Who would you go... if I died...

if I died, I got hit

by a truck... boom, gone...

where do you go?

Who do you go to?

What guy? Go.

- Ugh...

I don't... Chris Olsen, maybe?

Does that work?

- Chris Olsen.

- Does that work?

- I love it. I can see it.

He's totally successful.

And he's a nice guy.

He's handsome.

He doesn't have...

- doesn't have kids of his own.

- He doesn't have kids.

- F***.

- That's important.

- F*** that.

- F*** someone else's kids.

- Someone else's kids? Ugh.

- 'Cause I'd already be dealing

with you dead.

- Yeah.

- And I don't want the kids

to have to adjust

to somebody else's kids.

- Somebody else's weird kids

walking around.

- All right, who's yours?

Whatever.

This is the point, right?

You want to tell me who...

- okay, you want to know

who mine is.

Okay, I'll tell you.

- You know who mine is?

- Huh?

- I thought about it.

- Erica savage.

- Ugh.

- Erica savage? Gross, J.

- Erica Sav... you don't like

Erica savage?

- No, she's crazy.

I don't like Erica savage.

- She's great.

- No, she's not.

- She's the opposite of you.

She's, like, really free.

And like... you're great.

You're great.

But you're a little rigid.

But she's... I would go

in the other...

if you died, I would go

in the other direction.

I'd be like,

"I get somebody free."

Like, she's barefoot.

She likes to write songs.

She always has a guitar

in her back seat.

- So gross.

- She loves the beach.

- Yuck.

- And you know I love the beach.

- I do not love the beach.

- Right.

So that's... mine would be Erica.

- Erica savage is bonkers.

I think she's cra...

I mean, like,

do you remember that

she gave back her foster child?

Who does that?

- Oh, yeah, I think I remember

something about that.

But, you know, that foster child

was really rude.

She said those things

to the rabbi.

That was...

- she's a child,

like, an abused...

- she called the rabbi a Jew

to his face.

That's...

- All right,

well, I can't even...

I don't even know

how to begin with that.

- It didn't work out.

It didn't work out with...

you know, what are you gonna do?

- Jason, Erica's crazy.

Just don't tell her

about the mourn thing.

Just don't...

- don't tell her?

What do you think of me?

You are sensational.

I was just saying to busy

last night that, um...

- what?

You guys were talking about me?

- Well, I'm not... I'm not

supposed to tell you this.

I said, "if anything

ever happened to you",

I would love for Erica savage

to be my mourn."

- Your what?

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