Jason Nash Is Married Page #6

I HAD TO MAKE:

ADVENTURE BABY WORK.

- Ha! That's great.

- It's funny, right?

- Yeah.

- So that's it, you know.

ADVENTURE BABY.

He's a baby,

but he's really subversive,

and, you know, he gambles

and he smokes cigarettes

and he fights crime.

And he smokes... he smokes pot.

- Yeah.

- I love that.

And obviously, it doesn't

have to be real pot,

because the parents of the

babies that you get to play this

are not gonna...

they're obviously gonna say,

"I don't want my baby

smoking real pot."

- The... uh, the cartoon.

- What?

- This is gonna be a cartoon.

ADVENTURE BABY WILL BE

AN ANIMATED PROJECT.

- Oh...

- Yeah, I had a feeling...

- Oh!

- 'Cause we said that,

but I feel like you maybe

you didn't hear it.

- The whole show is a cartoon.

- Yeah.

- So you're just drawing

the baby.

- Yeah, this is...

this is animated.

- I thought this was just, like,

a reference drawing for casting.

- No, it's not live action.

- Yeah.

- Okay, that makes it...

that's a good change,

because it makes it a lot easier

to shoot, you know,

than if it had to be

a real baby.

- IT'S ALL LOONEY TUNES.

- Well, whatever.

- Yeah.

- But you know what?

I don't care whether you draw it

on a cave,

whether you hand it out

on pamphlets,

or whatever you do with it.

I think this is great.

I really love this.

I'm so glad that tidal

brought this to me.

- I want to do this.

- Booyah!

Oh-oh, yeah!

Oh, man.

I... I'm sorry.

I really needed a sale

this week.

I am this close to foreclosure.

This is just...

this is exciting.

GOOD. OKAY.

- L'CHAIM.

- It feels good, man.

This is it.

- That was a good day.

- I feel like

I can just breathe.

- Hey, speaking of, it turns out

Karen and I go to the same

therapist as you and busy.

- Okay, yeah, yeah. Dr. Glenn.

- Dr. Glenn.

- Yeah?

You guys are going there?

- Yeah.

So he said something

kind of weird.

"Listen, man, whatever you say,

I'm with you."

Did he do that to you?

- Yeah, yeah, he said...

- he did that to you too?

- He said the same thing to me.

She walked out of the room,

and he leaned in,

and he was like,

"you're a bro. I'm your bro."

He did that to you too?

- Yeah, he was totally like,

"whatever you say,

I'm gonna take your side."

- Isn't that amazing?

He's cool.

- I got to tell you, man,

I'm not comfortable with that.

That feels like lying.

We got to come clean

about this, man.

- Mm-mm.

- This is just eating me up

inside.

I can't sleep from the guilt.

We need to talk about this.

- No, no, you'll be fine.

- You want to say something?

- I don't.

I don't want to say anything.

Do you?

- I'll keep my mouth shut, but...

- Yeah.

- Yikes.

- Yeah, I think that's best,

'cause, you know,

he's the professional.

I would like to make a toast

to my wife, busy.

You have been incredible

through this whole thing.

Thank you so much

for standing by me.

And, um, you're awesome.

I don't know what I would be

without you.

So thank you.

- Okay, I got to get something

off my chest.

- No, no, no, no, no.

Ted, you don't

have to say anything.

- I have to.

- Ted, you don't have to.

You don't have to do that.

- That therapist we've

been seeing is lying to you.

He told Jason and I...

took us aside

and said that he was on our side

no matter what

and he would always take our

side in any argument that arose,

and it has been sitting

on my chest.

I'm SO SORRY.

- Jason, did he say that to you?

- Um... I'm trying to think.

Did he say that?

I mean, I thought... yeah.

Yeah, he did.

He did say something like that.

- And you lied to me?

You thought that that was okay?

You lied to me?

- No, no, wait, wait, wait.

Now, that's not lying.

I played within the confines.

- Um, I think it's time for me

to take care of my side

of the street.

It's truth time.

None of my part of it

is real either.

- What... what do you mean?

- Just blazers media, all that.

I have a disease.

I'm a pathological liar,

and my therapist told me

to confront the people

that I've lied to.

And so there's no blazers media

or any of it.

None of it's real.

- We went over there.

We went to the building.

We... there was a sign.

- There was a sign and a couch

and books on the walls.

- I mean, there are couches

in most buildings,

and then as far

as the sign goes,

I'm pretty handy with Photoshop,

'cause I was

a graphic design major.

You know what?

That's not true either.

- Ted...

- I didn't really go to college.

- Ted, I thought

you checked him out.

- I mean, I gave him a call,

but we had to cut off

the Internet at work, man.

I had to cut everything out.

We haven't had Internet

at the office for... I don't know.

I want to say three...

three, four weeks now. Yeah.

- No, no, no,

what about Marty Denman?

Who... we talked to Marty Denman.

- Yeah, he owes my father

$200,000,

so he'll basically do

whatever I ask him to.

I mean, he'd bury a body

if you guys had one.

I don't know if you...

- wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You're a pathological liar,

and...

Then this is a lie right now.

You're lying.

- This is another lie.

- It's another one of your lies.

Because this is all...

it couldn't possibly

all be fake.

- It'd be awesome if this was...

- this is one of your lies,

right?

- It's really not.

This is one of the only true

things I've said

in three months.

It's hard to be around people

who make excuses.

It's even harder to think that

you might be

one of those people.

And as far as my relationship,

you can only fail

in front of the same person

so many times.

- Hey, look out!

Underwear shot.

- Hey.

Hi.

- Hey, did you just

throw these at me?

- I'm sorry.

We know each other.

We know each other,

so I thought...

- Oh, okay. All right.

We know each other, okay.

We met before?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Through your podcast.

- So you were on the podcast?

You...

- no, um, actually, no,

I'm a listener.

So... So I know you through that.

- Right.

So I wouldn't know you.

I wouldn't... I wouldn't...

I wouldn't know you through...

necessarily, unless we had

some interaction or...

- no.

- Do we...

have we spoken before?

- No. No.

- Don't be upset.

That's okay. I love it.

Listen.

Honestly, this is, like...

that's probably

the coolest thing

that's happened to me

in two months, so...

- whatever.

I think you're really funny.

So right now, I'm doing

the dog-walking thing,

but I'm also working on

this astrological handbook

and I'm also doing

this sex toy business

with my best friend, Ethnie.

But I'm also just trying to

keep time open for a boyfriend

'cause I really

want a boyfriend.

Is it bad to say

that I want a boyfriend?

- No, no, not at all.

I think that's really good.

Say exactly what you want.

- I mean, I'm not one of those

women that's like,

"I must get married."

- Yeah.

- I mean, I will eventually

f***ing kill you

if you don't marry me.

- Yeah, well,

maybe don't say that.

- HEY.

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