Jayson Bend: Queen and Country Page #6

We've got a picture, Bill. You did it!

Here's my friend Percy.

He's come in a red sportscar.

Would you fetch him, Dawn?

Hello!

The crowned heads of Europe

continue to arrive in London

for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II.

Preparations continue

and the Golden Coach has been put

through its paces up and down The Mail.

So, where did you get

that beautiful sports car, Percy?

I stole it.

But I'll return it

before the owner gets back.

Percy has no conscience.

It's supposed to prick you,

but it never does...

- What?

- But it never does.

Don't you feel even a twinge of guilt

about the owner?

God, no. I rather resent him.

Please.

The tank was nearly empty and I had

to fill it up with my own money.

Shh!

Shh!

Blue

Moon.

You saw me standing alone.

So, have you guys got girlfriends?

Son of but...

she lives in a hospital, I live in a camp.

We have nowhere to go.

We end up in the wet grass.

Making love?

- Conditions are never quite right.

- What?

I would do it anywhere at your age,

well, younger than you.

Wet grass, in the rain, against a wall.

And look what happened.

You got knocked up at 17

and shamed your family.

It was the war. Do it quick

before a bomb drops on your head.

It was urgent.

- Billy.

- No.

Yes.

And you, Billy boy? Have you got a girl?

Kind of. You'll meet her tomorrow.

Tomorrow? What does "kind of" mean?

It's complicated.

- She's in love with someone else and...

- Oh...

she's turning Bill inside-out.

Billy.

And she's really old.

- What? Old like me?

- Not as old as that.

I am going for a swim.

The moon had turned to gold.

- Blue moon.

- Come on, boys!

Don't be boring!

Now I'm no Langer alone.

- Whoo!

- Is Dawn not up yet?

- No.

- Percy?

- Still in bed.

I'm worried about Dawn, Billy.

She came for a holiday but

I don't think she intends to go back.

She wouldn't abandon the children.

Was that Mac

you were waving to this morning?

- You saw him?

- And you.

Waving.

- Do you still see him?

- No.

We never meet.

We wave.

Just wave.

I'm sorry, Billy.

It was the war. We all did silly things.

I was 10.

Do I betray my mother

or do I betray my father?

On, Billy.

It's so good to have you home.

You can go. Be back in an hour.

Ophelia!

Wow. She's elegant, all right.

Look at the way she stepped

into the boat. It's not easy.

Well, William.

You really do live on an island.

She has a great body.

I'm beginning to see why Bill keeps at it.

Yeah, she's... She's beautiful

but she's not... sensual.

How can you tell that?

Oh, because when you're sensual yourself,

you can always tell

if it's missing in someone else.

Oh.

Yeah, no, she hasn't got it.

The full welcome.

Is this the first time

you've brought a girl home?

You're so beautiful.

Thank you for coming.

Class written all over her.

What can a woman like that see in Bill?

Bit old.

Hi! Hello.

How lovely. Ophelia, isn't it?

It can be.

I hope you'll watch the coronation with us.

Oh, sadly, I can't.

I'm being picked up in an hour.

- Oh...

Oh, well. Come in.

"I'm being

picked up in an hour."

I'm sorry.

Stop it. So...

So, what do you, uh, study at Oxford?

Philosophy.

Does that help you understand life?

On the contrary, the more I read,

the less I understand.

Oh.

See, I thought it was supposed

to, um, guide your behaviour, you know?

I'm amazed at how people do behave.

Aren't you Dawn?

All the time.

I find my own behaviour

impossible to understand.

- What about Bill's behaviour?

- Oh, yes.

William...

- William?

- Yes, William.

I take him seriously.

I take his name seriously.

Stop quizzing the poor girl.

I'm sorry, Ophelia,

but we islanders are so fascinated

by people from the mainland.

Oh, come on.

And the Queen will pass

as they move in slow procession

through the aisle of the abbey...

What other nation

could put on a pageant like this?

There's hope in it.

We're entering a new Elizabethan age.

God forbid.

The first Elizabeth murdered her cousin,

persecuted Catholics and died a virgin.

Oh, shut up, Dada.

Oh, that poor, sweet girl.

She's Dawn's age.

She has to take on a life of duty.

And she'll never have to

draw a curtain or draw a bath

or squeeze her own toothpaste.

Our queen deserves a few small

comforts to help her through it.

God bless her.

I agree. It's all quite lovely.

- They're all Germans.

- Oh!

The Kaiser was Queen Victoria's nephew.

Now they call themselves Windsor.

Windsor my arse!

Windsor is a brown soup

or a way to knot your tie.

It is not a royal line.

Have some respect, George.

It's all medieval mumbo jumbo.

They're calling on God to anoint them.

"The divine right of kings."

Tradition.

Do not underestimate the power of tradition.

It doesn't matter. It's harmless.

Why get so worked up about it?

It's just fun.

Oh! It's Ophelia!

- I saw Ophelia!

- It can't be.

It was her.

Look! Look! There she is again.

- There.

- It is. It is.

- What's her family name?

- I don't know.

You don't know? What? Are you witless?

I don't even know her first name.

It's not Ophelia.

History will be written

and sung hem today...

I've got to get that car back

before the end of the ceremony.

The owner's also in the abbey.

Billy, why are you against everything?

Like what?

Like the Army, the war, royalty,

the Tories, the class system, God,

Dad's patriotism.

So, what are you for?

- What are you for?

- Me?

Life, love, freedom, adventure.

Does that include flirting with Percy?

It's interesting that you choose

a friend with no morals or scruples.

That way you owe him nothing,

like no commitment.

And this girl, you're entranced by her.

She's in love with someone else, unhappily.

Probably married.

And you think you have to protect her,

like you protected Mother

when she was having it off with Mac.

And because Ophelia is not free,

you're free to yearn for her.

That girl needs a rock, not a wet rag.

For God's sake, stop.

And leave me alone.

You look at yourself.

Your marriage is messed up,

you left your kids behind.

Don't lecture me.

Sorry, Billy. Come and sit down.

- I promise I'll be nice.

- You don't know how.

My darling, dopey little brother.

Do you know, Mum and Mac...

Do they still see each other?

No. But they wave to each other

across the river.

- Every day, they just wave.

- Oh.

That's quite touching.

Their affair...

That's her guilt, not yours.

You should have told Dad instead of

bottling it up for all these years.

I couldn't.

You don't think he knew at some level?

I don't know.

You're mine now,

for the next two years!

Left, right!

Well, it's not the first time I've

had to correct you in this matter.

When teaching illiterates,

you will use the words in the manual,

not frivolous ones that pop into your head.

You're not teaching them

to write letters home.

You're teaching them

to understand orders, Army orders.

I will remind you of the words in question.

"Orders, regiment, sir, company, posting,

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