Jersey Girl Page #2

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I had a beautiful car.

You completely destroyed it.

Anything else you want to know?

-I figured you had a job. What kind?

-Just a job.

Is it a good job?

Of course it's a good job,

or I wouldn't be doing it, would l?

What kind of job is it?

What do you do all day? Where do you go?

Graphics.

-I sell graphics.

-Now that's very interesting.

Graphics. What exactly is that?

Printing.

-I sell printing.

-That's good for a start.

-What else?

-What else what?

What else do you do for fun, friends, family,

that kind of stuff?

Are you hungry or thirsty--

Look, I'm not hungry. I'm not thirsty.

I want you to keep driving.

Keep your eyes on the road.

I don't want any more accidents.

I'm not hungry or thirsty either.

Lousy idea. It was a bad idea.

How about maybe some gum?

As like a mood-lifter or something?

No. I feel like we've started out

on the wrong foot--

The wrong foot?

You destroyed my $70,000 car.

Do you understand that?

-Yes.

-We've got off on a really bad foot.

Okay. Maybe we should

just listen to some music, you know?

It'll mellow us out.

Just pull over. Fine. Great. I'll walk--

No, I want to take you right to your door.

Wait!

I need your name and your address,

so I can pay you back.

-Save your money. Go to driving school.

-No, I gotta pay you back.

There you go.

How about we never do it again?

Call me with the damages.

Toby Mastallone, Hackensack.

One "T," two "L's"!

See you, Sal.

Yes. All right.

Guys.

Where have you been?

We had to let ourselves in.

-I found him.

-Who?

Him. Mr. Make-It-Happen.

Mr. Sal Torme.

-He's Italian?

-He's in trouble, is what he is.

-Where'd you meet him?

-A Mercedes dealership.

Get out of here.

I swear to God, Cook. I felt so pathetic.

I thought, "What am I doing here?"

And then I saw him.

My heart started pounding so fast...

-that I could hardly restrain myself.

-Is he cute?

Oh, my God. He is gorgeous.

He has dark hair and big blue eyes.

What, did you just walk up to him and say:

"I'm looking for a gorgeous, rich guy,

and you're it"?

I chased him down and wrecked his car.

-Oh, my God.

-You got into a car accident?

Just a little one. I ran

his brand-new Mercedes into a bus bench.

A Mercedes? He must be rich.

Who cares? He's just the greatest guy

in the entire world.

Did he ask you out?

Not yet, but I'm sure

he's thinking about it right now.

Thanks, Bernie.

I'm sorry, baby. Go ahead.

What were you saying?

-Sal, what are you doing?

-I'm working.

Could you take a break

and come play again?

You ask me this every day.

I can't, honey. I gotta work.

I know, but I was just thinking about

what you were doing to me this morning...

and how good it felt.

I want you to do it again.

You know, you keep talking like this,

and I'm not gonna make it till tonight.

And, Sal...

I seem to have lost my panties.

And I was wondering if you'd found them?

Could you check inside your jacket pocket?

Bye, Sal.

-Hey, Pop.

-What?

When you first met Mom,

did you instantly know she was it?

What's to know?

We got along, we got married. Simple.

That's simple, okay.

Toby, remember that fellow

I mentioned, Gino?

I gave him your number.

-You gave him my number?

-Just talk to the guy.

-lf you don't like him, then--

-Pop, I met someone.

You met a guy?

No kidding, pretty face. What's his name?

-Sal Torme.

-Torme?

-Sounds ltalian. Is he ltalian?

-I think so.

So when can I meet him?

We haven't exactly connected yet.

What exactly does that mean,

you haven't exactly connected?

I haven't really talked to him.

Then how you do you know

you're gonna go out?

I don't know I'm gonna go out with him.

I want to go out with him.

Has he given you any indication

that he wants to go out with you?

I'm not exactly his type.

I have to make a few changes.

Changes? What are you talking about?

Who does this guy think he is?

Let him change.

Pop, I want to be different.

I want to improve myself.

Toby, you see this apple?

You see this banana?

This apple knows it's an apple,

and this banana knows it's a banana.

You know what I'm talking about?

If you want to improve yourself...

if you want to take classes,

get a new hairdo, that's fine.

But you're still you.

Like that wall.

If you were to put a coat of blue paint

on that wall...

that wall wouldn't think it was a waterfall.

Otherwise it'd be a dumb-as-sh*t wall.

Now you know what I'm talking about?

-What's up, chief?

-You're up.

-What are you talking about?

-I'm giving you Smith and Smith.

-What, are you kidding me?

-No, I'm not kidding.

That's Marvin's.

He's been working on it for six months.

So he's been warming it up for you.

Come on. You can't do that

to the poor bastard.

Working it costs money, Sal.

Closing it makes money.

-You like to make money, right?

-Of course I do. That's not my point.

I know you like to make money.

Come on, Mitch. You can't do that.

He's got a family.

The elevator's going up, Sal.

You get on, you punch any floor you want.

It's up to you.

You with me on this?

Good.

Straighten that tie.

I just wanted to give him my number at work

in case he tried to call me at home...

'cause I'm hardly ever there.

I'm pretty busy most of the time...

and I know a guy like Mr. Torme

is pretty busy, so I figured...

why waste the guy's time

by dialing a number I'm not even at?

I'm out of here.

Do you know a Toby Mastallone?

Hello?

-Mastallone. One "T," two "L's."

-No.

Tell her I got hit by a bus.

I'm dead. Anything.

We'll get back to you. Okay, hon?

Kind of like this?

Hon, unless you want

to walk around with a fan...

blowing out your hair all the time,

it'll never do this.

So you can't do this for me?

No, I can do this for you.

Your mother can do this for you,

even your father can...

but your hair still will not do this, okay?

Face the news.

Cookie, I need to borrow

that outfit you bought on Saturday.

Forget it. I haven't even worn it.

I need it, Cookie. I've gotta go see him.

He's my only chance.

Who, Mr. Millionaire? Mr. "Make-It-Happen"?

Let him buy you a dress.

Cookie, please.

If you could only see his eyes....

Toby, I hope you know what you're doing.

I'm telling you.

You stain it, you stink it, or you stretch it...

-you own it.

-I love you. Bye.

Get out of here.

So you really won't do this for me?

-Sounds good.

-Damn right it sounds good.

May I help you, please?

-So it's not chicken feed?

-No.

No, I found my party. Thank you, anyway.

-That works for me. I'm solvent.

-You win.

If you lose, you still win. You can't lose.

It works, you know?

Hi. No, sit.

Your secretary told me

that you would be here.

She did?

Not exactly. I went to your office,

and I saw the calendar on her desk.

So I figured since I'm in the city,

and since I owed you money, what the hell.

-This is Tony.

-Toby.

Kind of a hard name to remember.

-This is Mr. Stevens.

-Hi, I'm Gabe. Just call me Gabe.

-Hi, Gabe. Nice to meet you.

-Nice to meet you.

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