Jersey Girl Page #3

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-Would you like to join us?

-Sure it's okay?

-Sure it's okay. Right, guys? Come on.

-Thank you.

Thank you. That's very sweet of you.

You have a price tag sticking out here.

-Just pull it off.

-No.

I'll stick it in here.

You might want to return it.

-Is that better?

-Yeah.

Just when you think you're looking

your best, it can't get any better...

there's a price tag sticking out,

you run your stockings.

Sometimes the whole thing

goes haywire, right?

Get rid of her.

-Love your dress.

-Thank you.

Can I talk to you for a second?

What are you doing here?

First, you destroy my car,

now you're trying to destroy my life?

-Sal and I had a little bit of a fender bender.

-Fender bender.

And he was more concerned about me

being okay than he was about his car.

How many people do you know

that are that understanding?

Gabe, you've got a very special person here

working for you.

That's great.

-Listen, do you want something to eat?

-Sure, if that would be okay.

Are you kidding me? It's no problem.

Right, Mitchell?

The lady would like a menu.

Thank you.

And take this back, would you?

It's absolutely ice-cold.

Make sure that it's decaf.

I was once a waitress...

and I have to say

it's very difficult to keep the coffee hot.

First of all, you put it into a cold cup.

Second, you're walking

through the air conditioning...

so you could just imagine, right?

We could all imagine.

I wasn't a very good waitress.

Come on.

I can't imagine you being bad at anything.

You should see her drive.

That's very sweet of you.

Have you ever tried grilled swordfish?

No, but I'm always into

trying something new.

-What was her name again? Tabby?

-Toby.

-You like the name?

-Try and get her number.

-What's this?

-My first installment.

You're gonna get one every month,

just like I promised.

And here's my number,

in case I forget a payment.

You can call or contact me.

$30. You don't have to do this.

My insurance is gonna cover it.

-But they'll raise your rates.

-I've been a high-risk since I was 15.

How much damage did I do?

-You don't want to know.

-I do.

-You don't want to know.

-I do. I feel horrible.

$6,300 and change.

Really? That much?

How about I just pay the change?

Look, all I want you to do

is stay on your side of the road...

I'll stay on my side of the road.

You know, hopefully we won't...

run into each other.

No, but you keep my number, all right?

I'm kind of high-risk, too.

Sal, come on.

-I gotta go.

-See you.

Bye. Nice meeting you.

I can't believe I'm this late.

Don't want to be late for Mommy and Daddy.

Sweetheart, I'm not keeping you

away from them.

I'm keeping them away from you.

So where is this party?

It's at my grandmother's house.

Back to Scarsdale?

Jesus, Sal.

I don't want to put you through that.

No, you're right.

I'd probably have a horrible time.

I just don't think

you'd have anything in common.

You'd find them terribly boring.

-Baby, I'm already late.

-So you'll be later.

Hello, operator?

I don't think this phone is working.

So could you call back

and check it for me? Thank you.

Hello? Yes, it's working fine. Thank you.

So you can't take one of the kittens?

I got six cats at home.

-I'm allergic, Ange. I told you.

-They got medicine for that now.

Tobe, you okay?

I've been sitting by the phone

waiting for him to call. It's pathetic.

-I love men.

-He's gonna call you, you'll see.

I want him to call so bad, I can taste it.

Dottie, you and Larry look so beautiful.

I just wish he was here for our anniversary.

-I don't even know where he is tonight.

-I told you not to marry a trucker.

...all the luck in the world,

and I'm happy for you....

Greg looks so hot in the tux.

I mean, he's just so hot.

He's hot.

...and I'll baby-sit.

I mean, I don't look good.

No wonder he dumped me.

All right, tell me the truth.

Do I look that big in real life?

-Yes.

-No!

You don't understand, Sal.

It's my gallery. I can't be late.

Relax, we're 10 minutes late.

In Soho we're supposed to be late.

Late is late. I invited 550 guests.

The critics, the collectors....

I don't know how your people work.

My people pay attention to schedules.

My people! What is that?

Are we some kind of tribe?

Don't push me. I am not in the mood.

I want to know what you meant

by "my people."

-I don't have time for this.

-Make time, then.

Sal, do I really have to explain the obvious?

Hello?

Yeah. Who's this?

Sal, hi.

What are you doing?

Okay, listen up. This is a really good one.

"You and your lover are in bed,

and he asks you to do something kinky.

"You, A:
refuse,

but continue to make love to him.

"B:
start crying

and lock yourself in the bathroom.

"Or C:
give it a whirl.

After all, you might like it."

-Angie?

-"A." Definitely "A."

I would make love to him,

but I'm not gonna do any weirdo stuff.

-Dottie?

-N.A.

-What's "N.A."?

-Not applicable.

-Ange, it's probably Greg.

-Yeah, right.

Hello?

-Oh, my God, he called her.

-Yes! There is a God.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

You're right. This is better than Bud.

What?

I gotta tell you,

I've never seen earrings so big.

-You don't like them?

-No, they're fine...

just big.

Don't do that.

You don't have to do that for me.

Put them back on.

I was really surprised when you called me.

Good surprise, not bad surprise.

I mean, really, it was an excellent surprise.

You did give me your number.

Kind of forward?

I believe in letting people know

what you want.

Otherwise you might never get it.

You ever wonder

which ones are on their first dates...

or which ones are dating other people,

or who's seeing the wrong people?

-No.

-I do.

-Which do we look like?

-Us?

We look like them. First date.

How do you tell?

She's nervous, and I'm very nervous.

She's hoping that he likes her,

and I'm hoping that you like me.

And he's not sure

if he's gonna call her again...

just like you're not sure

if you're gonna call me again.

Let me ask you something, Toby.

-What do you want?

-What do I want?

What do you want out of life?

I want to look like her...

a city girl.

God, I look at them and I think,

"Where are they going?"

And then I invent things.

Like, she's probably going to a meeting...

or to a secret date,

or to some kind of conference.

Nothing ever ordinary,

like going to the A&P to pick up bleach...

'cause some kid threw up grape juice

all over you.

So that's what I want.

I want some Jersey girl

to look at me someday...

and say, "Where is she going?"

And I'll be going to a meeting.

Have you decided?

Two Venison l'Orange.

-Venison l'Orange, please.

-Trs bien.

That sounds good.

What is that?

So do you want to come up?

No, not tonight. It's late, and....

So I guess I should go in then?

Sal, are you ever gonna call me again?

You're a good kid, Toby.

Not that good.

No one can say that didn't work.

No. Nobody could say that.

-Night.

-Good night.

Hey, Cook, it's me. How you doing?

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