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Jersey Shore Massacre Page #4
He's doing you, Gino!
Gino, that's you.
You gonna take that,
Gino?
Yo...
Yeah, keep going.
Really?
Yeah.
One punch!
Good night, motherf***er!
Now get the f***
outta here...
A**hole!
...before I throws you
a real beatin'!
Whoo!
Who's going in
the water with me?
I am, let's go!
Yo, Gino,
go out for a pass.
Hey, wanna
catch some crabs?
Hey, we're going
to the Barnacle Club later
if you guys wanna come.
There's something
so relaxing,
you know, and elegant
about the beach.
You know what I mean?
I just love the fresh air.
Mmm.
Those guys were kinda hot,
don't you think?
They were definitely
hot for you.
Ooh, yum yum yum.
Oh, my God!
What?
Oh, I have to go!
Go where?
Uh, the laxatives
are kicking in.
I have to go to the bathroom
right now!
Oh, my God, oh, quick,
run up to the boardwalk
and find a restroom!
Aah! Aah!
Get out of the way!
What?
I gotta go!
Oh, my God!
Oh... my...
God.
Ohh.
Eww...
Ohh.
Look, Daddy,
sea shells.
Come on, Valerie.
We've gotta get ready
for tonight!
Hey, you got
any more corndogs?
Poopy.
All right, we got dollar
Jersey Devil shots
for the next two minutes,
so go to the bar
and get you some!
Here's to the king.
What king?
Fuc-king!
Fuc-king!
Oh.
So, fellas, who's gonna
pay for all these drinks?
He is.
He is.
You are.
You are.
I'm paying for the cab.
I always
pay for the cab!
No, you pay
for the drinks.
Hey, you watch
yourself there.
that to stay in the ring
with the Staten Island
Stallion, puh-puh-puh!
Man, you got it
all wrong.
If you weren't my boy,
you wouldn't even make it
to the ring.
Pa-pow!
End of story,
motherf***er.
Who's next?
Bullshit!
You never popped
nothing.
How the f***
do you know?
'Cause I've known you
since we were 12,
and you have such
a big f***ing mouth that
half of Staten Island
There would have been
billboards along the highway
saying, "Gino Digideo
whacked some dude.
Paid for by Gino Digideo."
I like it.
I like it.
Yeah, let's do
some more shots, buddy.
Let's get some more--
which ones?
Ohh!
What the f***?
I'll tell you
what the f***.
That's for drugging and raping
you f***ing dirty scumbag.
Yo, I don't even know
what you're talking about.
Yes, you do,
and two other people
saw you drop a f***ing
pill in her drink.
Yo, that b*tch was DTF,
so get the f*** outta my face
before I smack your mouth.
I bet you would,
you f***ing dirty scumbag.
Get the f*** out of here,
you slut.
You can't do that
in here, come on.
You're out.
Get off of me!
Bye-bye,
you little twat.
Peace!
Works every time.
Yo, bro, we gotta get
another bottle of that sh*t.
All right, my guy's
coming in next week.
I'll get a shitload.
Hello.
How you doing?
If I was you,
I'd be stalking me too.
Oh... well, let's have
a couple more drinks
and see
who's stalking who.
After you.
Thank you.
Right now, I'm just
working on my demo,
trying to get signed to a label,
you know what I'm saying?
Get a label.
What the f*** are you
laughing at, Dominic?
Look at you, kid.
Who we kidding?
You can't sing,
you can't rap.
You can't even play
a God damn instrument.
How the hell is a record
company gonna sign you?
'Cause I'm
that f***ing down!
Besides, what the f***
do you know about records?
You're just a part-time manager
at a nightclub.
If I need the urinals
or some sh*t cleaned,
I'll give you a call.
You don't know
who the hell I am.
That's the point.
We don't know
who the f*** you are,
and nobody else does either.
I'll be back.
So, I was just down
in the ladies' room,
and it's, like, totally
empty down there.
Like, two people
could totally have sex
and no one would know,
but...
that-- that would
be wrong, right?
Oh, no.
Yo, yo, yo, for the first time
in over two decades,
give it up
for the one, the only,
Jersey's own Italian Ice!
Hey yo!
New Jersey, make some
motherfucking noise!
Come on!
Kick it, DJ!
Let's roll
We're about to get nice
With the one,
the only
No phony, Italian Ice
What the f***
is Italian Ice?
I got more fans
than the Mona Lisa
When the ladies see me,
they all scream nice
Everybody wants
some Italian Ice
"Italian Ice.
"Born Dominic DiLallo in 1966.
in 1991 called 'Melt.'"
I'll make you melt
Melt, ooh, ooh
Melt all over my face,
yeah
"But he's best known
for his unsuccessful lawsuit
against Vanilla Ice
for stealing his career."
Melt all over
my face, yeah
Hey, Freddy,
that's you in 20 years.
"Ha ha ha ha"--
screw you!
I'm Italian Ice
Yo, DJ, get nice
I've got such bad
butt cringe,
I think my ass
New Jersey,
Italian Ice is back!
Yeah!
Suck my balls,
Vanilla Ice.
Stupid douche.
What the f*** are you
looking at, b*tch?
Oh, yeah!
Ohh!
Security to the dance floor,
please.
Sh*t!
No, no, no.
No!
No, no, no, no, no!
Hey...
Get the f***
off of me!
Hey, all right!
F*** the police!
F*** the police!
Hey, come on, come on.
Hey, youse is all
suspended from the club
for the rest of the summer.
But they started it!
Yeah, but you threw
your drink at her.
It spilled!
Ah, get the f***
outta here.
Motherf***er!
We can't go out like this,
so let's just go back
to the house.
Hey.
F*** it.
Back to our house--
you coming?
Yeah, we're going.
Yeah, we're going.
Just follow us.
Come on.
Let's have
some fun now!
How many times have you been
banned from this club before?
Ah, I've been banned,
like, three times.
Three times--
no way!
Shh! Shh...
Shh.
What the hell was that?
Someone's in the house.
What?
Who the hell are you?
I'm Rosemarie!
Val's cousin.
Rosemarie!
Valerie, there you are!
Everyone, this
is Rosemarie, my cousin.
I texted her
the address this morning.
I forgot to tell you.
Thanks.
Uh, how did you
get in here?
was unlocked,
so I just came in
and made me some dinner.
Oh, God, was I starving.
By the way, you're
gonna need some more
Super Fudge ice cream
and beef jerky.
Yo, this place
is f***in' hooked!
A little out of the way,
but hooked.
What happened
to Gigi?
She should have
been back here by now.
Maybe Rosemarie
ate her.
Watch it,
that's my cousin.
Where do you
keep the liquor?
Screw that,
where's the food?
I'll nuke some
fried chicken.
He's hungry.
Yes!
"Fat Camp Massacre!"
This is supposed to be
the best movie ever!
Oh, yeah, yeah, put it on.
Hey, I want a leg!
I want breast!
I just want
a piece of ass!
Aah!
Ooh...
Oh, yeah...
Roger.
Roger!
Roger!
I smell pizza.
I told you already.
and go back to sleep, Keith.
If they catch you eating
at night one more time,
they're gonna
kick you out.
I don't care about that.
I smell pizza,
I'm starving--
I'm gonna find it.
Cupcake!
Ohh, I finally
found you, cupcake.
Mmm...
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"Jersey Shore Massacre" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 1 Sep. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/jersey_shore_massacre_11246>.
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