Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work Page #7

Why is that?

- I don't know,

just sad that it seems

you have fewer friends

in New York,

and I know when

something wonderful happens,

there are maybe three people

I'll call,

when maybe 15 years ago,

there would have been six people

I'd call.

So many people are dying,

my God.

They'd better eat fast tonight.

Oh, it's cold!

Every Thanksgiving,

I bring meals

from God's Love We Deliver

to people that absolutely

are too ill to go out.

This year I asked my grandson

Cooper to come with me.

If you what?

If we can stop

at an electronics store,

his PSP is broken.

But If you're very good,

I'll buy you a new one

for your birthday.

- Well, my friend had three

of them, and he gave me one.

That's very nice.

Is this the one he gave you?

Yes.

He had three of them?

Has he got a single grandfather?

I love your hands.

They're great hands, Cooper.

At God's Love We Deliver,

when I started out,

and I'm on the board,

we used to give AIDS patients

that were going,

we would give them food.

Well, now AIDS is chronic,

and I am still delivering

their f***ing food.

I am so pissed.

I am so-

you know what it's like?

Thanksgiving morning,

ding-dong,

the guy opens the door,

"You again?"

"This is the third f***ing

Thanksgiving in a row, buddy."

"Miss Rivers,

just leave it over there.

I'm on my way to the gym."

"The gym?

"You're going to die today.

AIDS or me;

I'm not sure which."

Oh, look.

Oh, "God's Love We Deliver."

Aw, how nice is that?

You want to ring?

Hello, hello.

- Hi.

- I'm Joan Rivers.

This is my grandson, Cooper.

And how nice to see you.

Joan Rivers?

The Joan Rivers?

I pay her bills.

- You have entertained me

for years, Miss Rivers.

I'm so glad.

I'm a photographer.

- Yeah, you can see

there's something going on here

that's wonderful.

- Right there, I photographed

the same drugstore

for 20 years,

every time they changed

the price of cigarettes.

Oh, how brilliant is that?

Thank you.

Where was it shown?

Life magazine.

I have taken

over 100,000 photos,

so you might even know my work.

Look up FloFox. Com.

- Thank you.

- Happy Thanksgiving.

- I can't wait

to get out of here

and go home and look you up.

- Flo Fox, baby.

My name is Flo Fox.

I'm with Flo Fox right now.

What happened that caused

your eyesight to start to fail?

- I believe it's connected

with multiple sclerosis.

I walk with a cane.

I'm a little off-balance.

First my eyes went and...

Oh, it's so sad.

There's this sexy,

young, artistic, edgy,

New York, tough,

bohemian girl.

- It's amazing isn't it?

- Yeah.

Life is so mean.

And I thank you all

for being here.

This morning, I delivered meals

with my grandson

for God's Love We Deliver,

and may I tell you,

we are so blessed.

We are so blessed,

and I thank God every minute

that I ever step

into a limousine.

I know it sounds silly.

Since 1968, they've been sending

limousines for me,

and I never get into one

that I don't say,

"Thank you, God.

I am so chosen."

And I thank you all

for being here,

and I thank God for

another wonderful Thanksgiving.

Hear! Hear!

- We are at the Kennedy Center,

in Washington, D. C.

I am here to do a tribute

to George Carlin.

I find this whole thing

very hypocritical.

This is everything

George claimed he wasn't.

George hated the establishment.

George hated the people that

are going to be here tonight,

which are going to be

a bunch of older,

very wealthy Republicans.

All the things

that George fought against

tonight will all be negated

because he's getting

the Mark Twain award.

It would be like me getting

a big award

from the German Bund.

"And now for funniest Jewess

not in the ovens,

Joan Rosenberg Rivers!"

But, um, there's

an importance for me

for this type of an event

for comedy,

because I'm always left out

of it.

So for me, this is nice

to be included,

because I'm usually

not included.

Once a Jew, always a Jew.

I'm going in

to clean that bathroom.

- Have you seen that shower

in there?

It's kind of interesting.

Ugh.

Oh, look.

Now it is.

- The writers are ready

for you when you want them.

I'm ready for the writers.

Okay.

Okay, where are the writers?

They're coming in here?

Yeah.

Now, is it just the two of us?

- Yeah.

- All right.

Miss Rivers, the "f***" thing,

I know the executive producers

are a little concerned

about that.

Yes, and well they should be.

I probably will have one "f***"

somewhere in there.

- That's fine.

- Just to get the audience...

- No, exactly.

One is fine.

And it will be bleeped for TV.

- Yes.

- I have no problems.

All right, guys, see you later.

Thanks, Joan.

See you in a bit.

- Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

They're all going to be

so much funnier than I am.

See, when you see the lineup,

and you know Jon Stewart

had 12 writers work on this,

and you know, uh, Garry had

six writers work on this.

And you know all these people-

look who's here.

They all have

professional staffs.

Wow.

- You know, there's a lot

of his stuff that's-

- Joan, um, what is it like

being a comedic icon?

I'm sure there are comedians

that come up to you and say,

"You were an inspiration."

I'm not ready to be an icon,

and I'm not ready

to be told thank you.

F*** you.

- Lewis Black.

Margaret Cho.

Ben E. King.

- Don't know him.

- Dennis Leary.

- Clever.

- Bill Maher.

- Brilliant.

- Joan Rivers.

- Okay.

- Garry Shandling.

- Brilliant.

- Jon Stewart.

- Smart.

- Ben Stiller.

- Eh... lucky.

- And Lily Tomlin.

- Brilliant.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

George Carlin.

- The Smothers Brothers

and Laugh-ln.

And it was such a great time

to be in comedy.

Few people are always funny,

but certainly one

of the chosen people

is our next presenter,

the fabulous Joan Rivers,

ladies and gentlemen.

- We use to play

these terrible clubs.

Literally,

you didn't get paid.

You passed the hat,

and some nights,

the hat would come back

with a severed head.

Some nights...

And they asked me to say

a couple of words about George,

and I kept thinking

that is so unfair.

You cannot sum George Carlin up

in two words.

Give me at least seven.

And...

You were so funny.

I think today went very well.

I think I did not embarrass

myself at all.

I think I was fine.

I think I was funnier

than a lot of people,

not as funny

as a lot of people,

but, uh, yeah,

I was perfectly fine.

- I am getting ready to go

to Wisconsin.

I've never done an act before

in Mukluks.

They have no idea.

- They'll stare at me

when I say,

"Where are the gays?"

They're going to tell us,

"Dead, we killed them."

Why am I going to Wisconsin?

A thing called money.

They're so desperate to get me,

they're paying me.

That's why I'm going

to Wisconsin.

I worked last night.

I worked in Toronto

until about 2:
30 in the morning

on The Shopping Channel.

Then I got up at 5:00 to make

a 7:
00 plane or something

to Chicago.

And then from Chicago,

I took a little,

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