Joe Somebody Page #5

- Confident. Very confident.

- Still confident?

- Aw, just kick me in the nuts.

Dude, come on.

We're down to ten days.

Let's go to the back.

Come on, come on, come on.

Let's do some evasion.

Come on. Come on, come on.

Let's go.

I want you to focus.

I want you to hit my chest.

This is a body, not a bag. All right?

Now, come on. Give it to me.

Come on, come on. Come on.

No. No.

No, no, no, no, no.

You gotta concentrate.

I am concentrated!

You put your hands up like that...

Come on!

Give it to me! Come on.

Face. Cover the face.

What do I want?

Why don't I just "Buff Up"?

Buff up.

Ain't gonna help.

Checkout lane 22 is now open.

One, two, three, four...

Ohh!

- Aw.

- Excuse me!

Hey. Excuse me.

This is the ten-item lane.

- You can't stay here.

- What are you gonna do about it?

He can't stay here, right?

This is a ten-item limit.

Huh? Doesn't anybody here care?

This guy has got way more

than ten items in his cart.

What are you gonna do about it?

Sir? Sir?

Sir! Can I help you?

- No. I got it.

- Okay.

Ooh!

To you, Monster Man.

Ew.

- What's that?

- Ah, that's a... high-protein drink.

- With candy?

- For bulk.

So... this is gonna

be you, huh?

Eventually it will be.

Dad, fighting that guy

is not the answer.

Look, Natalie, as soon as I decided to fight,

good things started to happen,

with the exception

of that protein shake.

Come on, Nat, I want good things

to happen to me.

Hello?

Hi. This is Meg Harper.

I'm the wellness coordinator at STARKe.

- Oh! You probably want my dad.

- Yeah, thanks.

Dad! Meg Harper, the STARKe

wellness coordinator.

- Natalie. Hi, Meg.

- Hi, Joe. Hi.

Um, look. You... you kinda caught me

offguard the other night,

and I forgot

that I... I sort of...

already have a...

a thing on Monday night.

- Thing?

- Yeah.

- Well, what time's your thing?

- At 7:
00.

But if you wanted to meet me

afterwards, um... I don't know.

You could meet me at the St. Agnes Gym

in St. Paul, anytime after 9:00,

cause by then I should be done

with... my thing.

That'll be great.

I'll stop by after 9:00.

That's great. Okay. Bye.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

On one. Ready, and...

One, clap. One, clap.

Two, clap. Two, clap.

Keep your face covered.

Good!

Smokin' Joe! Feelin' good, huh?

Yeah!

Okay, come on, big guy.

Come on. Come on, come on.

- You all right?

- No!

- Shower?

- Yeah.

Joe, you look great. Wow!

Hey, Joey. Joe-Joe!

Hi, Pat. Just tryin' to take care

of my emails. I got 109 of them today.

Mm. Senor Popular.

Hey, let's take a walk.

- Where we goin', Pat?

- Uh-uh, bear with me.

You've been doing some pretty

amazing work lately, Joe.

I have?

Oh, you've really kicked it

into the next gear, mister.

Taken it up a notch.

That's why it is my pleasure, no...

my honor...

to promote you!

Ah, not to manager of media services,

as you'd hoped.

But all the way to director

of internal communications.

- That's higher, right?

- You betcha.

Hey, hey. What's this?

An empty space

so close to the building?

Who does it belong to,

I wonder?

- No.

- Tah-dah!

Huh? Huh?

- Huh?

- Wow.

- Huh?

- Wow!

I don't know

what to say, Pat!

- But wait, there's more.

- How can there be more?

Your own key

to the health center, Club 13.

- You're official now.

- Oh, look at that.

And... Timberwolves!

Tonight.

Best seat in the house.

- No frickin' way.

- Oh, yes, frickin' way.

Yeah, where's them bosses

now, huh?

The Minnesota Timberwolves

would like to welcome you

to tonight's game between

the Los Angeles Lakers

and your... Minnesota Timberwolves.

Joe!

Joe! Over here!

- What a surprise.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- Aren't these seats great?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah!

Ladies and gentlemen, Governor

Jesse Ventura and the Target Center

would like to welcome this evening's

Wolf Pack corporate sponsor,

STARKe Worldwide

Pharmaceuticals.

For the protection

of the players and fans,

and in the spirit

of good sportsmanship...

There we are.

Mah, meh, mi, mo, moo.

Moo, maah. Mah, mah, mah.

Does he have to do that

all night long?

It's like living

with a friggin' cow.

- He's an actor. They do that.

- What'd I miss?

- Mom!

- What? Oh, it just started.

Matos for the Lakers, top of the key,

moves it on the wing to Burns.

Oh, my God!

That's your father!

... one of the best of

the Lakers. Shot in the air is no good.

Rebound's tapped towards

the sideline. Ooh!

- Ooh.

- Reggie Blunt went right into the crowd.

- I got the ball.

- That had to hurt.

Are you okay, Joe?

- All right?

- Yeah. Thanks.

Did your dad

get that promotion?

- Apparently.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah.

- Hey, that was one heck of a fall.

Does dad know

the Governor?

- Careful when you sit there.

- I don't know.

Mah, mi, meh, moo.

Ay-ah, ay-ah, ay-ah.

- Ay-ah, ay-ah, ay-ah.

- Rick!

- Put a cork in it.

- Sorry.

- Please.

- Sorry.

Sor... Sor... Sor...

Oh. She shoots,

and... she misses. Oh, okay!

Nice try. Too bad.

- And this is gonna tie it up.

- Bring it on, Wonder Bread.

Did you call me Wonder Bread?

Don't be scared of me, Sharone.

- I'm not scared o' you.

- Oh, no? I own you.

Oh! Yes! Yes!

Uh-huh. That was mine.

That's right.

- So it's true.

- What's that?

- That white girls can't dance.

- Oh, really, Sharone.

Yeah. That's right.

All right. You guys gotta get outta

here, cause I gotta go home. Bye.

- Bye.

- Good job. Nice work, Sharone.

Take some dance lessons.

- So, you showed up after all.

- I left a T'wolf game at halftime.

I had a... a courtside seat.

Well, let's see

if you learned anything.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wha...

Scheffer heads towards the hoop.

You know, when he gets this look

in his eye, the defense has no chance.

He's like a... a force of nature,

really. What can they...

- Oh.

- No one can score on 'im.

Joe Scheffer... Oh.

Just got beat...

by a girl.

- What was that back there?

- It's like a big sister program.

I just started volunteering

a couple of weeks ago.

I grew up around here.

How long were you

standing there anyway?

I got there right before

you did that... little, uh, victory dance.

- If that's what you're asking.

- Oh, oh, no, no.

Please say something right now

to make me feel less

like throwing

myself down these steps.

Okay. I'll be... flat out amazed

if I can think of anything else

for at least a week.

That'll do.

- You're really good with those girls.

- Thanks.

Yeah, you know

the people at work.

I think maybe

I'm getting them a little late.

- Yeah?

- Mm.

I got a promotion today.

- Director of internal communications.

- Really?

Oh, I don't know

about that. Oh.

- On the house, Meggie.

- Thank you, Mike.

- Meggie?

- Yeah. My mom used to work here.

As a matter of fact,

I did most of my homework

in that booth right over there.

- Cheers.

- Cheers.

What?

Mm. I don't know

about the hair.

- You don't like it?

- Well, it's just... I don't know.

You look like

everybody else now.

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