Joy Ride Page #3

lying two inches from dead...

...in my jurisdiction. Why?

Because you sorry-ass punks thought

you'd have some fun.

F***!

I'd keep you retards in custody

if I thought it would help...

...answer one of the hundreds

of new questions I got! But, no.

All you know is his damn CB handle...

...and maybe he drives a truck.

Do you understand the kinds of sh*t

I've got to grapple with now...

...because of what you a**holes did? You!

You got out of jail when? Yesterday?

I want you out of here.

This is like an old-fashioned Western.

I want you out of Wyoming

before the sun goes down.

I can't believe you told him

we invited Rusty Nail back.

I could have been put back in jail.

-A man's half-dead because of what we did.

-Bullshit.

You order 10 pizzas for your neighbor.

A delivery guy gets there.

The neighbor opens up with an AK-47.

Is that your fault?

Yeah, maybe it is.

-Fine. Be the martyr all you want.

-That's not what I'm doing.

I'm trying to figure out how I can drive

away from here after what we've done.

Do what I do.

Just remind yourself that

in 100 years you'll be dead.

-That's as close to a philosophy as I have.

-I'm taking you to Denver and that's it.

Great.

Eastbound looking for a westbound

for a bear report.

Not a soul.

Never any smokeys on that stretch.

Candy Cane.

Candy Cane.

Hello?

Candy Cane?

I'm asleep.

Hey, Candy Cane.

Candy Cane.

Jesus.

Anybody out there know Candy Cane?

Or Mama's Boy?

Black Sheep?

-What will you say?

-Hey, Russell.

This is Black Sheep. Go to 23.

Hey, Black Sheep.

Do you know where I can find Candy Cane?

What is your deal?

I mean, seriously.

I'm looking for Candy Cane.

So you've been driving around all day...

...looking for a voice.

I think that you can tell me

where to find her.

-Tell him it was a joke.

-I talked to her...

...about last night

and she said she's not interested.

-She's not interested in you--

-No, don't.

Or your pink champagne.

I need to find Candy Cane.

You need to find

a highly qualified psychiatrist.

Not a psychologist.

You're going to need some drugs.

And you need to find a lawyer,

because the cops are all over your ass.

-Goddamn.

-Give it to me.

Hey, there, Rusty Nail.

That was me. All right? I'm a guy.

It was just a joke.

It was just a joke.

Apologize.

-Right.

-No, just do it.

-Apologize to him?

-Yeah, I'll do it.

Listen, you sick f***.

You pathetic, lonely,

walkie-talkie, freak show motherf***er!

You get nothing from me!

You know why?

I have something more powerful

than your psychosis: a volume knob.

All I need to do to make you go away

is to turn it counter-clockwise.

You got that? You copy that?

You know, Black Sheep,

you really ought to get that fixed.

Get what fixed?

Your taillight.

-See anything?

-Cars and trucks. Just drive. Just be cool.

Oh, my God.

-Did he follow us from the motel?

-I don't know.

-If we keep driving, we're safe.

-God.

Look.

-Come on!

-It's okay. I saw a sign.

Gas at Laramie. There'll be a phone there.

I'm going to call Sheriff Ritter.

Good. We'll turn off at Laramie.

-Oh, my God.

-Okay, just stay cool.

-Oh, sh*t.

-Be cool.

Stop telling me to be cool!

You're making me crazy.

Get the map.

-F***! We won't make it.

-There's a town at the next exit.

-How far is it?

-From my cuticle to my knuckle!

-Twelve miles!

-That may be too far.

Take this exit here!

Yes! You're a genius.

-I'll pay, you pump. Or you want to pay?

-I'll pump.

Table Rock, please.

Rawlins County Sheriff Department.

Oh, my God.

Sheriff Ritter, please.

SheriffRitter is not available.

At the tone, record your message.

When you are finished recording...

...you may hang up

or press "1 " for more options.

Please wait for the tone.

You just got the gas?

Come on. Get in the car. Get in the car.

Come on.

Go, go!

-He's in there.

-That's him?

Keep driving! Keep driving!

Gas!

Oh, my God!

-Can you see the on-ramp?

-No.

Okay.

Damn it! The guy's coming after us.

-Don't panic! We've got a full tank of gas!

-Sh*t!

We must have missed the on-ramp!

Mailbox!

No, no!

Sh*t!

Lewis! Lewis!

-He said, "Lewis! "

-Stay the f*** back! We got a gun!

And I got a MasterCard.

-Thanks, man. We thought--

-You really scared us, you know that?

It wasn't the moustache, was it?

My old lady wants me to shave the thing.

No, it wasn't the moustache, man.

-What is that thing? Your club.

-My tire thumper?

Sh*t. Just checking pressure.

Yeah, the pressure. The pressure thing.

-You boys okay to find the main road?

-We're fine, now that we're not murdered.

Thanks a lot, man. That was nice of you.

-You all have a good night.

-Sorry about that.

F***ing Fu Manchu.

I've never felt like more of a p*ssy

in my whole life.

Oh, my God.

What kind of range is there on a CB?

I don't know. Maybe five miles.

You know,

I think we should get to a phone...

...leave a message with Table Rock cops

that Rusty Nail's in the area.

What the hell is that?

Go!

Go! Go!

He's right on us!

Man, he's right on our ass!

-Don't use that!

-91 1 !

We need some help, please!

ls anyone out there?

Goddamn it!

Come on!

Tree!

-You okay?

-Yeah.

I'm okay. Let's go.

Come on, come on. Let's go.

Sh*t.

We're not moving!

Come on! Sh*t! Come on!

Come on, come on! Go, go!

Go, go! Come on!

Go!

Oh, sh*t!

Come on! Don't kill us, man!

We apologize!

Please don't kill us, man!

We were just playing with you!

Why?

Just...

...just for a laugh.

A laugh?

Just for fun.

Well, I was just playing with you, man.

Where are you now?

Ten miles outside of Laramie. We had

some car trouble, so we'll be a little late.

That's all right.

-Is everything okay?

-Yeah. It's just been a long drive.

They fixed the taillight.

So...

...why don't you just come home with me?

Blow off Denver.

No, I'm okay.

Listen, I don't want

to tell Venna what happened.

I don't want to ruin things.

Freak her out, you know.

Hey.

The color's not that great,

but it's a big car.

I love it.

When did you get it?

-I've had it for a while.

-Doesn't look too beat up.

Actually,

I think the dents add some character.

Actually, I was talking about Fuller.

-Hey.

-Hey.

-It's been a while.

-Yeah.

Well, have you named it yet?

We were thinking either Tad...

...or Lewis' Shitty Newport.

She's hot.

Have a good summer, Vee.

This is my friend Charlotte.

She'll be my roommate next year.

These are the infamous Thomas boys.

-Lewis, right?

-Yeah, hi.

Nice to finally meet you.

Look, I'm Fuller,

Lewis' older, somewhat troubled brother.

-You're definitely going with us, right?

-I have to go back to San Antonio.

Isn't San Antonio on the way

to New Jersey?

It was nice to meet you.

You're breaking my heart leaving like this.

-I'll miss you.

-I'll miss you, too.

-I love you. Be safe.

-Love you, too.

That's so Charlotte.

Waving and driving off like that.

-You guys ready for an adventure?

-Completely.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

-Shotgun. You want it, call it.

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