Jumping the Broom Page #6

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Look, Harriet Tubman,

Kunta Kinte ain't sitting at the table,

and, you know,

this ain't a black history moment, Pam.

Well, why should they have to jump

over a broom?

My family weren't slaves.

Are you so sure of that?

Yes. As a matter of fact,

they owned slaves.

What?

Mom, don't say that.

And you're proud of that?

No, no, I'm neither proud nor ashamed.

It's just an immutable fact.

You know something,

you're crazier than I thought you were.

Here's another fact, honey.

You need to get off your high horse

and come on back down to Earth,

'cause, baby, you black.

-That's right.

-Okay? You're black.

-You black.

-No, you don't come into my house

and tell me what I'm supposed to do.

I'm about to have this woman dragged

out of my house.

No, they're not trying to voulez-vous

coucher avec moi ce soir us.

I don't care what they saying in French.

I know she talking about me.

Hey, come on, Pam.

Mrs. Taylor, it's just that...

Did you just kick me

under the table twice?

Not in a row, baby. Just relax.

Listen, everybody, calm down.

Calm down, calm down, all right?

Now, listen, if it is important

to Jason's family to jump the broom,

would it be so difficult

to actually consider jumping the broom?

-There.

-Thank you.

Go play with your whore over there.

She said she gonna hit you in the head

with a computer, I heard that.

Good evening, good evening,

good evening.

You look awesome this evening.

My baby, hi!

Can I... Yes.

Like we rehearsed.

That's a short dress.

I'd like to sing a song

for Sabrina and Jason's big day.

I heard it's been a long,

long six months.

I don't know how you two do it.

Wow. I know I couldn't do it.

Get up, get up, get up, get up

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up

This is gonna be interesting.

Oh, baby, let's get down tonight

Ooh, baby

I'm hot just like an oven

I need some loving

No, she didn't say that.

And, baby

Any chance you might be able to get

that dress after she's done with it?

I can't hold on much longer

It's getting stronger and stronger

And when I get that feeling

I want sexual healing

Sexual healing

Oh, baby

Make me feel so fine

Help to relieve my mind

Sexual healing, baby, is good for me

Sexual healing is something

that's good for me

If you don't know

the things that you're dealing

Jason and Sabrina,

get some sexual healing

I got her sexual healing right here.

Hell, she gonna be

the next ex-Miss Willie Taylor.

I thought you would at least look

after me once I got here.

How could you let those people

treat me like that?

Mom, there is blame to be

had on both sides.

Now, will you please

just give these people a break?

-Give these people a break?

-Yes.

-Her family had slaves and she's proud

of it? -That's not what she said.

Now there's something wrong

with my hearing. I know what she said.

And you know what, you're gonna end up

being her slave for life.

So, now I'm a slave?

Boy, don't you get dramatic with me.

Mom, I have a bachelor party to go to,

all right?

Go.

Hey, Willie Earl.

You on one tonight, ain't you, sis?

That was wrong.

And what'd you say that speech for?

It's "why did you give that speech."

You're out here

with all these bougie folk.

You better not be using that Ebonics.

No, I'm serious, Pam.

That was wrong and it was foul

for going in there and starting that

fight at their dinner table like that.

If Jason don't wanna jump the broom,

he don't have to jump the broom.

Willie Earl, the only reason

I brought you up here was to support me.

I told my brother

I was gonna help raise his son.

I'm here to support Jason.

Well, it really ain't your business.

It isn't none of my business.

Remember that? Bougie?

Let me tell you something, Pam.

If you keep fighting progress,

you gonna find yourself

on the wrong side of history.

-Whatever.

-And that's real talk.

Yeah, it's gonna be whatever.

God don't like ugly, Pam.

He ain't too fond of cute.

I just think the best gift

you can give anyone

on their wedding day is the truth.

-Have you completely lost your mind?

-What?

You think of no one but yourself.

And who are you thinking about,

Claudine?

Are you thinking about Sabrina?

Are you thinking about what people

will say behind closed doors?

No, I could care less

what people think of me.

-Please!

-I am always thinking of Sabrina.

That's clear.

I was thinking of Sabrina

when she went to kindergarten

and when she went to college.

I could write you a whole list

if you need me to, Geneva.

You want me to throw you a parade?

Petition you for sainthood?

You didn't do me any favors.

You did Mother a favor.

I didn't give you Sabrina.

Mother took her from me!

Well, what would you have done

with her, Geneva?

Pack her in a suitcase every time you

felt like flying off to a new adventure?

What, get pregnant again?

Well, at least I could get pregnant.

If you come anywhere

near my daughter this weekend

with any of your foolishness,

you will regret it

for the rest of your life.

Yes, Malcolm,

it was nice to meet you, too.

Hold it, hold on.

Okay, don't be too hasty.

I usually

don't talk to dark-skinned girls,

but I'm making an exception for you.

So, how about we...

-You don't like handcuffs?

-That is not the same thing, Jason.

-Rude, ghetto, same thing.

-No, it's not.

Look, look, at the end of the day,

I honestly don't care

if we jump the broom or not, Sabrina.

You don't care and I don't want to,

so why do it?

Because it would make her happy.

Look, this woman sacrificed everything

for me.

And, quite frankly,

if it wasn't for my mother,

I wouldn't be the man you wanna marry.

If it wasn't for your mother,

I wouldn't be questioning

if you're the man I wanna marry.

So, you're questioning marrying me now

because of my mother?

She's disrespecting my family

and she's treating you like a child.

You're letting her

talk to me any kind of way.

A husband is supposed to defend

his wife, remember? Leave to cleave?

Look, Sabrina,

she's always gonna be my mother.

-I know.

-But you are not my wife yet.

You're right. I'm not.

Which makes it so much easier

to walk away from you, Jason.

Look, I didn't... What are you saying?

I'm saying you're a mama's boy.

Does she know you're out right now?

Do you need to text her?

Do you need to check in?

Do you have a curfew?

Are you allowed to be out past 12:00?

This is ridiculous.

I need a drink.

And not one that's thrown on me, either.

It's a $200 jacket, man.

-Can I holler at you for a minute?

-Do I have a choice, Malcolm?

Look, I've known you your entire life,

all right?

You messing up.

Your mama mad at you.

From the look of things,

your girl pretty mad at you.

You rushing in, marrying this girl.

You don't know her.

I get it, she's rich, her family's rich.

It's the come-up.

But do you wanna be one of those guys?

What kind of guys are you talking about?

One of them guys.

The kind of guy that'll do any and

everything to get where they wanna be.

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