Just Friends Page #3

You know, he usually

flies us out to Los Angeles.

It's been, uh...

oh, nine, 10...

- It's 10 years. Yeah.

- 10?

since he's been home.

- All right. Good job, Dougie.

- Oh, hi, honey!

Oh my God.

- Mikey.

- Oh my God!

- Is that my Christmas present?

- Sam, my younger brother Mike.

- Samantha James.

- Samantha James.

Mike Brander.

It is an honor.

I have your poster

on my wall,

- but you are way hotter in person.

- I know!

- You have her poster on your wall?

- Yeah.

I slapped the ham

to it like an hour ago.

What ham did you slap?

Not the ham

that I just bought?

Oh, Mrs. Brander, do you have

anything else besides ham?

Because I'm on

the Perricone diet

and I need salmon

like now.

I love salmon. It's the prettiest

color for bedrooms.

- So relaxing.

- I'm gonna start drinking.

Um, does anybody want anything?

Some coffee?

Maybe some salmon

or something?

Just gonna...

yeah.

Mike! Good to be home.

Oh, boy. Okay.

Hi. Yes, I know,

very exciting.

Hi. Hi.

Oh. Chris,

let's get it to go.

People are staring at me.

Oh my God...

plastic menus!

Well, this isn't gonna work,

is it now, Chris?

Chris?

Excuse me, but I was

wondering if you think

America will ever switch

to the metric system?

Well, that's

a very interesting...

- Oh my God! Chris!

- I don't believe this!

- Oh! God, you look great!

- I don't... you look great!

- Well, thank you! How you been?

- We're married.

- You're married!

- Married?

- Oh, yeah, we're married, we got a kid. TJ.

- We have a son. TJ.

- TJ!

- He looks like me. He's got Clark's eyes...

Oh my God!

Where does the time go?

He's like the creative mind kid, he's like,

brilliant and you can meet him.

- That's great!

- God, look at those teeth!

Those are some nice veneers

you got, my friend.

- Don't tell me that you're a dentist.

- A dentist?

- I totally sold out, dude.

- Hey, you and me both, buddy.

Hey, lover, aren't you

gonna introduce me, huh?

Yes!

Samantha, these are

my old friends.

This is Clark,

this is Darla.

Your names are

"Clark" and "Darla"?

- Yeah.

- Mm-hm.

Oh my God,

that is so cute!

I just wanna

eat you both up!

Okay, I am gonna go

to the little girl's room.

- Good.

- And then we're outie.

- Okay.

- Okay.

She's... uh, incoming.

Oh my God.

Check out that

girl's ass. Huge!

It was so nice

meeting you.

Mm. Darla.

She's adorable.

- And affectionate.

- Christ sakes.

- Chris Brander, ladies and gentlemen!

- Yes! You guys, so good...

Chris Brander?

Chris Brander?

Holy...

I saw you at the Grammys

sitting next to P. Diddy!

It's me Tim.

You remember?

Oh, how could I

forget you, Tim?

Hey, you got $5

that I can,

like, have?

Yeah.

You keep

living the dream, Tim.

Done!

Buh-bye now.

- Class of '95!

- Class of '95!

Here's your money,

b*tch!

- He looks good.

- Man, I can't believe...

wha... like what happened?

Where did you go?

Hey, you know...

just migrated west.

You know, I'm living

the dream out there, I guess.

I just stayed with my dad

for awhile, and...

yeah, hocked my soul

for a record executive job...

and started...

I mean I had an internship first

- a couple of years.

- Uh-huh, right.

Jamie.

Jamie?

- Chris, hi!

- Hi!

What are you

doing down there?

Oh, I'm just busted!

How are you?

Oh, sh*t. Hold on.

Wow!

Look at you!

Oh my God,

I can put my

arms around you.

- You look so great! Look at this body!

- Thank you.

- You're like a new man!

- Yeah.

These arms

and your belly,

and look at...

pecs, and...

Wow! Chris Brander.

God.

Jamie Palamino.

So, um... so how long

are you in town for?

Um, just the night,

actually.

Just one night, really?

You can't stay any longer?

No. I wish I could, but l...

Let's go, Chris.

There's pee on the floor.

- Yeah.

- Okay, um...

all right, well...

- it's really great to see you again.

- You too.

Oh.

Wow...

Just give me

a call sometime.

I'm living

with my parents.

Oh, I know.

I'm living with my parents.

Okay, bye.

- Bye.

- Bye.

- Jamie Pal.

- Whoa!

She's like a box

of fine wine.

You would know.

You know, in high school

you'd never get a girl like that.

And now you get

whoever you want.

I bet you could

definitely hit Jamie Pal.

- Definitely.

- Okay. Okay.

- Excuse me.

- Oh yeah.

You go! Whoo!

- Hey!

- Hey!

Look, there is a chance that my

flight might be delayed an extra day.

- What are you doing tomorrow?

- Um, nothing.

- Do you want to meet for lunch?

- You mean like a day date?

Yeah.

Great!

Chris! Chris!

- I'll pick you up at noon.

- Chris! Chris!

- Chris! Chris! Chris!

- Awesome, I'm really...

- I'm busy!

- I'm busy! Stupid dick!

- That sounds awesome. I'll see you then.

- Bye.

Let's go.

- What was that all about?

- Nothing.

It's just an old

friend saying hi.

Yeah, well, let's

keep it that way.

- It's not a handball.

- My handball.

Meow. Meow.

I used to know you

when we were young

You were

in all my dreams

We sat together

in period one

Fridays at 8:
15...

- Whoa.

- But I will wait for you

As long as I need to

And if you ever get

back to Hackensack

I'll be here for you.

Jesus Christ our savior

was born upon this day

To save us all

from Satan's power

When we were

gone astray

Oh, tidings...

Hey! Dumb-ass.

Wake up.

- Hey, wake up.

- Ah! Agh!

Morning.

Ow ow!

Agh! What?

I need you to

do me a favor.

What do you

want from me?!

I ran into Jamie Palomino

last night.

Oh, here we go again.

I'm not the same person

I was in high-school, pal.

You'll always be fat

to me, Chris.

What do you want from me?!

I need you

to detain Samantha.

I could do that.

- Chris, wait!

- It's a beautiful day.

What about Paris?

Look, Paris can wait. This is important.

You don't wanna be

- out of touch with your audience, do you?

- No.

No, well then, you need

to connect with your audience,

you need to feed off their energy.

After all, they're the ones who're

gonna be buying your album.

The problem is where

in New Jersey are we gonna find

a proper cross-section

of your fans?

- The mall?

- A mall!

That's a great idea!

- We have so much in common!

- I know!

- God.

- Let's do it to it!

Whoa! I am not

going with him!

Look, what better way to relate

to your fans than to go with one?

In we go.

Hey! You're not

coming with me?

- Hmm-mm.

- No, sweetie. You need to do this alone.

- I can't be your crutch.

- But l...

Watch your face!

Buckle up!

Great.

That's good.

That's looking good.

Great, guys.

Really good.

Mr. Palamino,

how you doing?

Well well well,

if it isn't

Mr. Valentine's Day!

This guy, every Valentine's Day,

he'd buy Jamie like a dozen roses.

Used to drive all

her boyfriends nuts!

Ha! Till we explained, of course,

it was just her little friend Chris.

Yeah,

I remember that.

You prick.

I see you still have the best

Christmas display in town, sir.

- Hey! In the state!

- Hey, Chris!

I'll be right out.

So, uh, how'd you

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