Just Friends Page #4

lose all that weight?

Like that retard

from Subway?

It was great

talking to you, sir.

Are you kidding me?

I rented the nicest Porsche

in New Jersey.

I'm just gonna play

this whole thing aloof

and she's gonna be eating out

of the palm of my hand in no time.

Gotta go.

Hey.

Wow! Porsche.

Girls must love this.

I hate this stupid thing too.

It's a rental.

So ostentatious.

It's all they had left.

Hmm.

- God, this place hasn't changed a bit.

- I know.

Are you sure that you don't want

to go someplace else?

- No, we can't leave. We have history here.

- History.

Oh my goodness,

I remember you two.

Oh, you're not

a chubby bunny anymore.

- Oh, my personal space.

- I'll be right back.

I've got a little

surprise for you.

Can't wait.

Haha!

Chubby bunny!

Ahh! Thanks for

reminding me I was fat.

So why did you disappear

on me 10 years ago?

Uh, listen, about that...

Where you

that mad at me?

Come on, Jamie. It was like

I'm not that pathetic

little dweeb anymore.

You were never

a dweeb, Chris.

- So, tell me about your job.

- Oh my God.

You know, once you get over

all the glamour, you know, it's uh...

- it's nothing but total insanity.

- Mm.

You know, if it's not Pink calling you, then

you got Good Charlotte...

it's Jay Z's birthday party, you know, and

I'm totally name-dropping right now

and I'd really like to stop.

Mick Jagger. How 'bout you?

You know, what happened to you?

How'd you end up working at The Maple?

I don't work

at The Maple.

I mean, I work at The Maple

but I don't really work at The Maple.

- Yeah.

- I'm studying to be a teacher

so I'm living at home

and I'm working...

It's the coast.

Be right back.

What happened to him?

Five golden rings

- Four calling birds

- I don't care what your mommy said.

Three French hens,

two turtle doves

Oh, this is gonna be a great song.

"Mall People."

"Mall people,

they come and go...

small people,

they just don't know."

- How's it goin'?

- Fantastic.

- How's it going with Jamie?

- Treating her like

- every boyfriend she's ever had.

- You da man!

- So I wanna run an idea by you.

- No.

Since you're trying to hook up with Jamie,

what if I went to Paris with Samantha

- instead of you? That way you...

- No.

- You haven't heard the whole thing yet!

- No.

You know what, just... just think

about it and get back to me.

Ow!

- Oh my God!

- I gotta go.

- So, how's the coast?

- Super.

Here we go!

One grilled cheese

with ranch on the side

and one Sugar Mountain Supreme

for the chubby bunny.

Excuse me, um,

this-this... this isn't

gonna work for me.

But this is what

you always order.

Yeah. 10 years ago,

when I was a whale.

The pancakes are fine.

He's just kidding.

What?

- Be more rude!

- She's rude! She's rude!

I haven't had sweets

in 10 years, okay? Do you know

- what this would do to my stomach?

- Relax, little girl.

I'll have the pancakes and you

can have my sandwich, okay?

I'll just enjoy

this glass of water.

I'm stuffed.

Good times.

Good times!

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Thanks again for lunch.

- Oh, I'll get your door.

Oh. Okay.

Sh*t.

- Whew!

- Yeah.

Well, it was great

seeing you again.

You too.

Yeah, glad I ran

into you last night.

Yeah, it was

a surprise.

Big surprise.

Yeah.

It's cold out here.

Yeah, it is.

It's like the South Pole.

It's like the deep South Pole

if there was one.

There isn't, though.

Um, thanks for walking

me to my door.

Yeah. Again, it was

great seeing you...

again.

- You, too.

- Yeah.

Take care. Uh...

Yeah, you too.

Oh, uh...

- Oh.

- That's good.

Ow!

- Take care.

- You too.

Hmm.

Stupid! Stupid!

Stupid!

What the hell?!

God!

Oh my God!

It's the South Pole!

It's the deep South Pole?

It's the South Pole.

The deep South Pole!

I don't think there is one,

but if there was one

I bet it would be

in the south!

- I left my gloves in the car.

- Oh.

- There you go.

- Thanks.

Hey, look who's here!

What's up, Hollywood?

- How the big date go?

- It was terrible.

I went in for a kiss,

but she wants a hug, okay?

Then I get caught in a sort

of kiss-hug limbo type thing.

I don't know what that is, then I

ended up shaking her entire body.

So y-you gave her

a body shake?

Oh, God! I should've just kissed her!

What am I doing?

It looks like you picked up right

where you left off.

You're back

in the friend zone.

Oh, f-f...

What?

Little problem.

Okay, she's got

a bit of a headache.

It's not that bad. Ha!

Oh my God!

What the hell

happened to her?

Long story short,

she fell.

Samantha, are you okay?

I'm gonna make bubble.

Dude, she's fine!

Look at her. She's having a good time.

She's got her toothpaste.

All you had to do was watch her for a few

hours. What did you do to her?

Nothing! She's just all

loopy from all the Vicodin.

Where did you

get the Vicodin?

Mom.

Blueberry!

Okay.

I'm gonna kill you.

What?!

You said detain her!

- You're a dead man, Mike!

- She's detained!

Eww.

- My balls!

- Oh.

You're dead.

No, Chris! No!

Chris...

Chris, no!

- My boss! Truce!

- Truce!

- Truce!

- Okay.

- Hello?

- Nyah!

Hey, Chrissy!

How's my future star doing?

Great.

She's doing great, sir.

So let me... let me...

let me say hi to her.

Uh, she's a little incapacitated

at the moment.

Oh, a little incapacitated,

that's my baby, that's my boy!

Look, when you two get back, I've got this

incredible marketing campaign

lined up for the spring quarter.

Our number one priority:

- Samantha James!

- Awesome.

Three two, one!

Ho-ho-ho.

- Yeah-ha-ha! Yeah!

- Merry Christmas!

It's a Palamino Christmas!

Again!

- Hello?

- Jamie.

- Hey.

- What's up?

Listen, you're never gonna believe this,

but I can't get a flight out.

- I'm stuck here another day.

- Oh.

I want to apologize

for earlier.

- Let me make it up to you.

- I taste good.

Do you want to go

ice skating?

- I thought you hated ice skating.

- I used to,

but you know, I'm actually

pretty damn good now.

I'm the MVP

in my league, in fact.

Come on, it'll be

like old times.

- Hello, Joyce?

- Mom? I'm on the phone.

Oh! Well, Chris, what are you

doing over at Joyce's?

No, Mom. I'm in the living room,

- and I'm on the phone.

- Oh.

Well, you know,

I was wondering

while I have you on the phone,

what would you like for dinner?

We-we have a choice between chicken

chow mein or pot roast.

Mom. Please.

Mom!

- Mom!

- What is it, peanut?

Where are my ice skates?

Oh, honey, I gave

those away years ago.

Are you serious?

I need them.

Well, honey, why would I keep them?

You're never here.

Besides, you-you weren't

terribly good at ice skating.

Well, I'm good now!

And I need my skates

to show off my talents.

Oh, well, honey,

I'm sure you can rent a pair.

Besides, you don't have

to show off for Jamie.

Just...

just be yourself.

Be yourself

Be yourself,

be yourself.

Now, come on! Mikey and I are

making snow angels!

I don't want

to be myself.

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