Just Getting Started Page #6

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Oh, you're good!

Oh, I'm not that good,

- I just try real hard.

- Yes you are, you're really good.

I've gotta tell ya,

you're light on your feet.

We'll frolic and play

The Eskimo way

Excuse me, excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

- My turn.

- Have some respect for the lady.

- Gentlemen, gentlemen.

- There's only one gentleman here.

Stop the music!

You makin' a fool of yourself, Duke.

I'm callin' your hand.

We're gonna play

18 holes of golf, right?

Winner...

- Christmas morning.

- Bring your A-game.

A-game?

I'm gonna kick your ass with one hand!

Oh, no.

Dashing through the snow

In a one-horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way ha-ha-ha

Bells on bobtails ring

It's madness. It's all madness.

Leo can play for real.

It doesn't matter. We got your back, boss.

Yeah, even if you're outta bounds,

I got the foot mashie going.

And I got a hole in my pocket

and a half dozen extra balls.

And I got a short game.

We got you rigged to win!

Ah, we got you covered.

I wouldn't even worry about it.

Cowboy and the playboy.

- I got my money on the playboy.

- All right, all right.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this morning's contest

will be 18 holes of match play golf

between Mr. Diver and Mr. McKay,

according to official USGA rules.

Now, I just wanna say before we begin

that even though

there can only be one winner...

Oh, shut up!

I think I have the honors here.

- Yep.

- Oh,

we're starting to kick it now!

Oh!

Son of a b*tch!

Holy!

All right, baby!

All right, Duke. Have at it.

Show us what you got.

Come on, let it rip.

Quiet, please!

You don't gotta tell me

to shut up. Let it rip, boss. Let it rip.

Leo, pay attention. One hand.

- One hand.

- Waggling.

Yes.

Yes! Yes!

Let's go! Let's go!

Ow! That's how you do it!

Right down the fairway!

- Yes!

- Uh-huh.

- Yeah! Yeah!

- Feelin' it!

No, no problem.

I got this, I got this.

Yes, Duke!

Settle.

- Damn, smoother...

- Oh, good break!

That ball is out of bounds.

- Huh?

- Out of bounds.

Lucky bounce. Must have hit a tree.

Oh!

Yeah, great shot,

great shot, chief!

All right, Duke, have at it!

- Oh, boy.

- You're lookin' real good.

Oh, cowboy, what you gonna do now, cowboy?

All right. This is bullshit.

- What you talkin' about?

- It's bullshit.

Are you accusing me of conduct

unbecoming a man of my reputation?

I am accusing you of conduct

consistent with a man of your reputation.

You been cheatin' all day long.

And if I'm keepin' the score correctly,

you will have to hole that ball

on that green to beat me.

Okay.

Okay.

You got this shot.

Watch this.

Tell you what, why don't we, uh,

run up here right quick

and read the green.

- Great thinking.

- Not so fast.

I don't trust you and I never will.

Ah, we plum-bobbing that!

I'm keepin' my eye on you, man,

just like a hawk.

God damn!

Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t!

- Everybody all right?

- Sh*t!

They found me! They found me!

- Everyone's okay.

- Are you okay?

Stay calm. Stay calm.

We'll have the EMS here in a minute.

Holy sh*t!

Probably just a gasoline leak.

It's an electric cart!

Where's my hat? Where's my hat?

Where you goin'?

You want a taste?

It's Leo, and I don't want a taste.

Open up.

Leo?

You forfeit. I win the golf match.

You can have the damn golf match.

Somebody wants me dead!

Who wants you dead? Who are you?

It... it's, a...

So, I'm the trophy for a golf match.

I mean, it's not the first time

men have fought over me.

Which one of you children is winning?

No, no, no.

We... we... we're not fighting over you.

That would be sexist and outrageous.

No, we're fighting

over the right to court you.

There's a difference?

These are fine distinctions that men make.

Yeah, yeah, we... you misunderstood.

We honor, praise and glorify you.

No criminal intent on Duke's part,

it's just Duke being Duke.

Thank you, Leo.

Do you men hear yourselves?

- No.

- Sh... should we?

Excuse me. I trust I've made my point.

Oh, by the way, did you hear a loud boom

a few minutes ago?

- Uh-uh.

- No, no.

You?

Corporate's up my ass

and you're both lying to me.

You better report this

to the county sheriff.

Oh, no, no. No, Leo, I beg you.

Don't take this to the law.

Leo. Leo! Leo, where you going?

Leo, it's not safe for me

around here anymore.

- You've got to get me the hell outta here.

- Why would I do that for you?

Because you don't want bloody chunks of me

raining all over Villa Capri!

All right, I'll get you outta here

but on one condition.

You tell me everything. No more bullshit.

Now, why would I bullshit you, Leo?

Okay. Bloody chunks it is.

Uh, okay, okay. Okay.

No... no more bullshit.

You blew up a golf cart?

And he wasn't in it?

No, it is not your fault.

Your... your... your father

never let you murder anyone.

No, he... he always said

that you did the best digging.

But sweetheart,

how many men did you bury

from snakebites and bombs?

Zero!

They all died from bullet holes!

So go get some bullets,

and do it like your father used to do it!

Who the hell are you?

My real name is William J. DuPrees.

I was known for many years as Sweet Willy.

I was chief counsel for the Bruno family.

Mob.

Until I learned that they weren't really

in the trucking business.

And then Feds came around

and offered me a choice.

- And?

- I rolled over like a trained show dog.

The problem was there was this crazy wife

and a crazier son, even,

who threatened to kill me at the trial.

And then when the brakes went out

on my car a week later,

around came the Feds again...

And you went into witness protection.

And turned it into an art form,

if I may say so myself.

Did you ever change your appearance?

And mess with this?

I don't think so.

The Feds will take care of you.

- Yeah! They'll relocate me.

- So what?

So, I don't want to be relocated!

I got it made at the Villa Capri.

Everything a man could want is there!

It is my vision that made it

what it is today.

Sex, booze, golf... and then you die.

Heaven's gonna be

a disappointment to you, man.

Come on, Leo.

Help me save what I've built.

- Sh*t!

- Nobody messes with my truck!

Shot my truck!

Oh, hell! He's tryin' to kill me

and you're worried about a truck?

Hang on.

Sh*t! Sh*t!

Sh*t!

Let's just regroup

and... and... and make a plan.

I'm gonna cut the sumbitch off.

- This is a really bad idea, Leo.

- Watch this.

Nice work, Leo.

Glad I didn't blink.

Damn it.

This is my brand-new, F-150, 4x4,

ruby red, extended cab,

custom bedliner truck!

I guess we're going to have to inform

Miss Quince of these developments.

Yeah. Her job's at stake.

You got a special feelin' for her,

don't you?

From the moment I first saw her,

there was something

about Miss Suzie Quince

that got the hair

on the back of my neck standing up.

Nothin' finer.

In the whole wide world than a good woman.

I dig the female species...

Smells sweeter than a honeysuckle.

Smarter than hell, firm as a biscuit.

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