Just Getting Started Page #7

---

Firm as a biscuit?

Biscuit, fresh out of the oven.

Oh, yeah. Butter melting.

- You see my point.

- Ah, yes, indeed.

The sun, the moon, and the stars, Leo.

That's what a good woman is to me.

Hark the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn king

Peace on Earth and mercy mild

God and sinners reconciled

Go on.

What goes next?

With.

What is it? With...

Romantic joy proclaim?

Proclaim.

Christ was born in Bethlehem

Hark! the herald angels sing

Glory to the newborn king

You had a rifle and a scope

and you missed him?

Oh, Oscar,

just stop trying to kill him.

Just bring him to me and I'll do it.

Why am I not surprised

you're in witness protection

and somebody's trying to kill you?

- Yep, that's him. Yeah.

- The animal guy, right there.

Sheep. Camels.

Did they have a snake? Probably.

I thought he looked vaguely familiar.

Now I recognize him.

That's Oscar Bruno,

one of the mob boss's sons.

He could have

just knocked on your door and shot you.

Surveillance cameras.

He didn't wanna be ID'd.

No. He figured he could just come

and go with the animals.

Leo wants to turn me over to the Feds.

Oh, God! No, please.

Tell the police, and suddenly

the Villa Capri is crawling with cops!

I mean, can't you just, like,

track him down?

He's a bad guy. Just...

you know, snuff him out

like way off the radar.

I don't snuff people out,

off or on the radar.

Oh, God. I know.

Okay, guys, look, I... I have a confession.

The last couple times corporate sent me

to fix a problem,

something crazy happened.

Things got worse.

I'm starting to like this place,

but I'm on a short leash here.

If this gets public,

it could cost me my job.

Please... Leo...

And, he shot your damn truck.

- Hmm.

- He shot your truck?

You're both right.

We're goin' after this guy.

Yes!

What the hell is this about?

He knows my new truck,

but he doesn't know this shitty van.

Oh.

That's clever.

I think you and I could become

cherished friends, Leo.

Shut up.

Fit perfect in a golf bag.

Can I help you guys?

- Can they get out?

- Yep, every now and then.

You might wanna think

about a deeper trough.

Deeper trough. Yeah, good thinkin'.

Duke, what brings you out here?

Were, uh, lookin' for a guy.

Oscar. Strange fella.

Where is he now?

He quit yesterday.

Said he had found what

he was lookin' for and walked out.

Leave an address?

He lived in a motel, I think.

- Motel...

- You got any idea which motel?

- Made it sound like the French Quarter.

- French Quarter?

- Something like that.

- Got it.

Manager says he's still livin' here.

Unit 15.

So when he shows up, we jump him,

we hand him over to the Feds,

and he goes up the river forever, right?

- No, no. We don't jump him.

- What do you mean?

I do.

- So just relax.

- Yeah, okay...

Sixth grade was traumatic.

I ran for class president.

Lost.

I got one vote... my own.

In high school,

I tried bribing my classmates, but...

Crushed again.

Yeah.

Witness protection turned my life around.

You got a fresh start

on the back nine of life.

Reinvented myself.

Was goin' pretty good, if you ask me.

You like me a little, yes?

You need to be liked?

It may sound pathetic but,

I love to be adored.

You need therapy.

Never worked before.

Not until now with you.

Good. You're cured.

We should rotate naps

in case it turns into an all-nighter.

Yeah. Well, I'm wide awake

if you wanna take the first one.

I could nod off pretty quick.

Well...

Wake me in one hour

or if anybody shows up.

- Would you like a song to help you sleep?

- No.

Silent night

Holy night

I like that one.

All is calm

All is bright

- Wake up, Sherlock.

- Hm?

You were supposed to wake me up.

Sorry.

That song always leaves me out.

Can I help you?

Yeah, the guy in room 15,

what do you know about him?

A very nice man. Very polite.

Bullshit.

There is one thing.

He... loves naked ladies.

I saw him at last week's

Sunday brunch at Rudy's.

They have a Sunday brunch at a titty bar?

You gotta try the Belgian waffles there.

Okay. All right. Go do your business.

Go on, Romeo.

- That's a good boy! Good boy!

- Hey, Suzie?

Suzie?

- Yeah?

- It's corporate for you.

It's corporate?

Suzie Quince.

Yes!

No, no, no...

I... I'm getting a handle on things.

A firm grasp.

Holy night

No. I... there are protocols.

I'm following the protocols.

I'm a... I'm a walking protocol.

But people just seem to be so happy here,

and happiness is not a condition.

It's a choice.

Things are not out of control

at the Villa Capri.

It is magnificent here.

No, no, no! Stop! Come back!

Terminate me? You can't terminate me!

Come back with the nativity!

No, wait! Stop, get back in there!

Larry, get the camel!

You know what?

Hello?

Romeo?

Oh, Romeo?

Oh, my God! Romeo. Romeo!

Oh, no, no, no, no!

- Hey!

- Oh! Oh!

I got you!

You know, this isn't

a very efficient plan.

You shut up!

You shut up! I'm having

a worse day than you are.

You know, if I were to ever kidnap

someone for ransom,

I would have it more worked out,

more organized.

I mean, there would be some nice kibble,

and perhaps a chew toy.

- I'm going to tell you why.

- Chew toy?

Oh God! It's amateur hour around here.

Well, I'm sorry.

All right, all right. Enough about me.

I'm sure even a tough guy like you

has some insecurities

you'd like to talk about.

No.

Come on. You'll feel better.

Shut up! I feel fine.

- They've got a nice gift shop.

- Hey!

Really sweet.

Hey, there's the big dog!

- Hey.

- Hey, what's up?

- We're lookin' for somebody.

- Yeah?

- Recognize this guy?

- Doesn't look familiar, but, uh, you know,

a thousand other guys like that...

Your animal guy

is not very good at blowin' you up,

but he's gonna keep tryin'.

Maybe he'll get it right next time.

- Hey, hey, hey!

- Is that your car?

- Yeah.

- Give me the keys.

- My new wheels? No!

- I need your keys.

- Who do you think you are?

- Give me the keys!

Sh*t!

- This is thrilling.

- Thank you.

- There he is.

- Yep.

Goddamn, Leo!

Two old dinosaurs. Like us, huh, Leo?

- You think that's funny?

- Nope.

Hang on.

Oh sh*t! Oh sh*t!

I have a confession to make.

Well, for heaven's sake, man, let 'er rip.

I came here to buy the Villa Capri.

I thought you only bought big stuff.

That property is worth 50 million dollars.

Fifty... and Suzie's worried

about petty cash?

She's just doin' her job... Hang on!

Oh sh*t!

First, I was gonna bulldoze

the Villa Capri

and put in a western Mall of America.

Oh my God! That's sacrilege.

Don't worry. I changed my mind.

I'm startin' to like that place.

So, I mean, if it's worth all that

and it's partly because of me,

I think I should get a piece of the pie.

How much do you want?

Uh, eh, ten percent?

Suppose I let you keep

your fancy golf cart?

Wait a minute... They blew that thing up.

And you're welcome to have a piece of it.

Looks like Oscar

is through playing around.

- Uh-oh!

- This looks like a dead end.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes