Just One of the Guys Page #5

You got me a hot date

with Sandy's grandmother.

No, listen,

I figured the whole thing out.

There is nothing wrong with you

except for the way you dress.

Terry, it took me an hour

to put this look together.

Yeah, so don't try so hard

next time. Come on.

I don't have any money.

I've got plastic.

You can pay me back.

I just feel kind of weird.

That's because your body's

not used to style.

You'll adjust.

Hey, Deborah, what's shaking?

Hi, Terry.

- Hi.

- Rick.

Yeah, I know.

You look a little different.

Kid went shopping, got a haircut.

Welcome to the '80s.

- Very sharp.

- Thanks.

Deb, what are you doing hanging

around these chump stains?

- Come on, let's go.

- I'll be right there.

- Now, Deborah.

- Just a second.

Greg just likes to act tough.

He doesn't really hate you guys.

Oh, that's no act.

He truly hates us.

Deep down, he's insecure.

Yeah, well, upfront he's an a**hole.

Take it easy, Deborah.

What was that, a pity stop?

It's just about showtime, boys.

I'm picking up curious life readings.

- Is it human?

- Unknown.

It seems to be some sort of

carbon-based douche bag.

Gentlemen, relax. Sit down.

Too much stress,

it's not good for your muscles.

Have a nice lunch.

Hey, how you doing?

Nice jacket.

Oh, I'm sorry. Spaghetti too.

I think it stains.

Did I miss something?

Did I miss something?

Why didn't you slug

that a**hole anyway?

- He said he was sorry.

- And you believe him?

Benefit of the doubt.

Besides, the guy can lift cars.

- What are you doing?

- What's it look like I'm doing?

Do you have to do that in here?

Felt like the right time,

certainly the right place.

Terry, is this a problem for you?

No, no problem at all.

I was just kidding.

It's just that you look so nice today.

You were perfect.

Hey, isn't this great?

Isn't what great?

Well, you know, here we are...

...a couple of guys

hanging out in the men's room...

...leaning up against the urinals,

talking about broads and fights.

Just like a couple of guys, you know?

This is what you call

typical male bonding.

You know, like Butch Cassidy

and the Sundance Kid.

So that's what it is. Yeah, that's great.

I'm glad you told me.

I just wish that Greg Tolan

would join the gang.

Oh, man, I've had it with that jerk.

You want to know about Greg Tolan?

I'll tell you about Greg Tolan.

Greg Tolan is toast.

He can't get away with this.

We gotta get him back.

We and what army?

No violence.

No need to sink to his level.

You see, we have something

that Greg Tolan will never have:

Intelligence.

You know, you're right.

I mean, we're smart.

Okay, Terry, what do we do?

- I don't know.

- Me neither. Oh, boy.

Hey, man, this stuff will kill you.

Try this, you'll live longer.

Thanks.

Looks good.

- I made it myself.

- Gonna finish those fries?

- Buddy?

- Thanks.

- What are you doing here?

- Looking for you.

Rick, this my younger brother,

Buddy.

How you doing?

So this is Rick?

I've heard a lot about you.

A lot.

Buddy, what do you want?

Guess who came by to pick you up

for school this morning?

Your true love.

Kevina. Kevina was very upset

that you left without her.

You know how she worships your

rippling muscles and your hairy chest.

Terry's such a stallion.

Go on.

Show him your hairy chest.

Buddy.

Anyway, Kevina made me promise

to tell you she's picking you up...

...for dinner 7:
30 sharp.

So you should

look your handsomest.

Thanks for the message, Bud.

My pleasure.

Well...

...l'm gonna scope out

the local babes.

Hey, Rick, stay real.

Take it easy.

You have a girlfriend

named Kevina?

- Rather exotic, isn't it?

- Stallion.

Hi.

Can I be totally honest with you?

Your touch is the reason

why I went through puberty.

Sit down.

Guys, I just want to apologize

about neglecting you yesterday.

I felt terrible, and I just want you

to know you're still my favorite.

Sit down.

Man, Terry,

this crap has gotta stop.

What are you gonna do?

Excuse me.

Can I have your attention, please?

Your attention?

Every day at lunch...

...we get a very special treat...

...from a very special guy.

A guy who has dedicated his life...

...to building his body...

...pushing his muscles

to the very limits of human endurance.

Why, you ask? Why?

Well, to be strong enough to lift tables

and spill food. Greg Tolan!

Whoa, wait.

Let's take a moment now

to find out a little bit...

...about the man behind the mask.

Greg. May I call you Greg?

Now tell us, Greg, how did you

first get into spilling food?

Were you a messy baby?

Did you hate your strained peas?

Well, you know, most psychologists

tell us that guys...

...well, they get into bodybuilding to

compensate for either a lack of IQ...

...or a small wienie.

Which is it, Greg?

Well, those of us

in Greg's gym class...

...certainly know the answer

to that one.

I'm gonna beat the sh*t out of you!

Greg, please!

Hey, isn't he great?

Muscles and a sense of humor!

Well, let's all thank Greg for the many

lunchtime thrills and spills...

...he's given us. All right, everybody,

up! Come on, everybody, up!

Grab the end of your tables!

A tribute to you, Greg.

Lift!

We love you, Greg.

Everybody out! Go on outside!

Now!

- Hold it, clown!

- Come on, Greg. Greg, not now.

It was a joke, people laughed.

Let it slide.

- Stay out of this.

- I am getting real bored...

...watching you push people around.

- Yeah?

- Stick around, it'll get real exciting.

- You know, Terry was right.

- You are an a**hole.

- That a**hole called me an a**hole?

- Oh, now you wanna beat him up too?

- No, I wanna buy him an ice cream.

Can't you ever just be man enough

to walk away?

Watch, I'll show you how it's done.

You got some pudding on your shoes.

You were outstanding! Phenomenal!

So who you gonna ask?

You were outstanding! Phenomenal!

So who you gonna ask?

- Don't start this.

- You're practically a celebrity.

I'm having a really great day.

Please, don't spoil it.

We've gone too far to stop now.

Just ask one more person, anybody.

And then I swear I'll shut up.

- Anybody?

- Anybody.

This is...

This is gonna sound crazy, but...

...what the heck, you know,

it's been a crazy day.

Would you like to go with me

to the prom?

Yeah, I'd love to.

I don't think you

understood the question...

The prom?

I'd love to be your date.

Hi, Terry.

I'm going with Deborah?

I'm going with Deborah.

That's really wonderful.

See, what did I tell you?

You're a great guy.

It's about time

some lucky girl figured it out.

- Let's double. Who you going with?

- Oh, I don't know if I'm going.

You've got to, come on. Sandy.

Oh, no way, man,

that chick is dangerous.

- I don't need to go.

- Yes, you do.

After all you've done for me...

...we've gotta get you a date.

Because, Terry, I'm not going

unless you're going too.

I mean it, I'll tell Deborah right now.

I think I know who to ask.

Okay!

I was wondering, do you have plans

yet for Saturday night?

I'm not sure.

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