Just Visiting Page #4

Synopsis: A knight and his valet are plagued by a witch, and to repair the damage, they make use of the services of a wizard. However, something goes wrong and they are transported from the twelfth century to the year 2000. There, the knight meets some of his family, and slowly learns what this new century is like. However, he still needs to get back to the twelfth century to deal with the witch, so he starts looking for a wizard.
Director(s): Jean-Marie Poiré
Production: Buena Vista Pictures
 
IMDB:
5.8
Metacritic:
38
Rotten Tomatoes:
33%
PG-13
Year:
2001
88 min
Website
309 Views


Need some help, sir?

Oh, it is beautiful.

The water comes out|by itself. Ha!

It is a magic fountain.

Look at this! Mmm.

It smells just like the forest.

All the forest|is in the small wheel.

Mmm. Smell it!

No. No, thank you.

You don't want to smell it?

Enjoy yourself.

The castle's a wreck.

So I'm helping her|divide the estate up...

...into more manageable,|profitable chunks.

We're selling the art|and various high-end pieces...

...through an outlet here.

Essentially, I'm protecting her.|I see that as my role.

And the land?

I decided|we should sell that, too.

It is not for you to decide.

Only Lady Julia|can say what will be done.

I speak for both|Julia and myself.

You cannot possibly|speak for a Malfete.

What are your wishes, milady?

Well, um...

I guess I'd like|to think about it...

...a little bit more,|actually.

Julia?

The lady has spoken!

Chicken salad, now!

I want that cake.|Come on now.

Don't take all night.

Greasy chicken.

What on earth|do you think you're doing?

Hi, Andre.

I'm afraid I'm going|to have to add an order...

...of chicken a la umbrella|to your bill.

Smell the forest.

Yes, it's minty.

It's from|the blue fountain.

Nice. Yeah.|Oh, all right.

Honey,|would you like a mint?

Yeah.|All right. Good.

Thibault?|Master.

Those are good.|Give me another one.

Yes. Very minty.

Ow!

Ah...

Good evening, fine sir.

I'm seeking|Thibault of Malfete...

...the Duke of Anjou.|The great chevalier?

Andre does not need a bed.

He will be happy|with some straw.

Yes.|We're out of straw.

My bed is soft.

It's time|for the "Family Feud."

Aah!

Oh! Poor little people.|They're trapped inside!

Oh!

God have mercy. What are we|going to do, my sire?

Free them.

Chuck, Marilyn,|Norma, Terry, and Linda.

Now let's start|the "Family Feud"!

Bunny? You really think|these guys have amnesia?

I don't know.

We are coming!

So you admit|they're clinically insane?

I didn't say that.

Oh, come on!

Where did they go, my lord?

They were inside.|We could not save them.

It is tragic.

Well, we never really|used this room anyway.

It's a pity.

Aah!

I need to find a wizard now.

Um...

Do you mind if I get|some coffee first?

Hi.

Jesus Christ!

I've told you|not to leave this stuff...

...in the middle of the driveway!|What are you trying to do?

You just about|broke my goddamn neck!

I'm sorry.|I didn't mean to.

Do you actually do|any gardening around here...

...or do you just|sing out of tune?

Just clean it up!

Aah!

Oh! Hey, big belly!

You dare to touch a lady?

Who the hell are you?

I'm Andre,|and I piss on you.

Yeah, well, you get|the hell out of here...

...or I'm gonna call the cops.

Apologize to the lady.

Lady? You're calling her a...

Lady. Right.

I'm sorry.

Kiss her feet.

Do what?|Kiss her feet!

Oh, Jesus!

Instead of a wizard...

I think what we really need|to find you is a good doctor.

Wizards are the best doctors.

What in the world is that?

What are you doing?

Call 911!

What is going on here?

He was very rude|to the lady.

Look, fool.|A coat of arms.

He is a nobleman.

I did not know.

Stupid peasant.

Who are these guys?|Visitors.

Do you own this woman?

She works for me.

Then I will hang my valet|by his feet on your behalf.

No, please, my lord.

Not by the feet!|I prefer the thumbs.

I got a meeting to catch.

Rise, idiot.

I give him to you|for the day.

You may beat him|if you like.

Thanks, but, you know,|we just met.

Thank you,|my great and merciful master.

Thank you, milord!|Thank you!

Let us go.|We have a wizard to find.

A wizard?

Are you French?|Yes.

Do you like it here?|It is very strange.

It smells bad,|and the food is too little...

...but the ladies are wonderful.

I wish my boss|thought like that.

Boss. Ha ha. Boss.|What is boss?

The guy you work for.|The big guy.

I can have his bones|when he's eating.

That is so disgusting.

That's so gross.

You have to figure out a way|to get away from him.

He's my master.|I don't want to be hung.

Hung!

You're not gonna be hung!

That's completely|against the law, Ok?

Ok. Ok!

Yay!

Does he pay a lot of money?

Once every month|he permits me...

...to hunt pheasants|on his lands.

So you make no money?

I have a treasure.

What do you|call that again?

The "L".

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

Before we get|downstairs to the crowd...

I've got this for you.|Here's my phone number.

I want you to wear this|just in case you get lost.

I will not get lost.

You can only be lost|if you have no purpose...

...and I have purpose,|which is to find a...

A wizard. Right.

I don't even know|where to start with that one.

I mean,|I have never met a wizard.

I don't even think|they make wizards anymore.

Oh! My purse!|Wait, Thibault! Wait!

Wait! No!

Take the purse!|No! No!

He's a thief.|I have to cut his hand.

No, no, no!

Please, just take it.

Ok. Everything's fine now.

Hang him in the public square.

Aah!|Silence, old woman!

You're not helping.

Witch! Old witch! Wait!

I am sorry.|I thought you were an old hag.

I've been called worse.

Thibault, why don't|you come and tell her...

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Ah, would you happen|to know a wizard?

Can you tell me|where to find a wizard?

A wizard.

Well.

Peasants, which one|of you can show me to a wizard?

There will be a reward.

Sir Lancelot here's|looking for a wizard.

Aren't we all? Ha ha ha!

I am not Lancelot.

I am Thibault,|Count of Malfete...

Duke of Anjou,|Baron of Orleans...

Lord of Libourne.

Yeah?|Well, I'm Sid from Cicero...

Duke of Hazzard,|Baron of Billiards...

...and Lord of Lord-knows-what...

...and I challenge you to a duel.

En garde!

Do not make me kill you.

En garde, I say.|You watching this, honey?

I should kill you|for your insolence...

...but I am too thirsty...

...so instead,|I will quench my thirst...

...and yours and yours.

Drink up!

Hey.

You're not gonna|believe a word of this.

Not a word of it.|Guess whose exhibit...

...had another visitor|last night?

There was sparks flying...

...and all sorts|of weird noises.

Then there was this poof.

Poof.

And a green flash,|and then bang, he was there.

Who was there?

The wizard-looking dude.|Wizard.

Look.

He burnt the bed spread|where he came in.

Absolutely shocking.

Wait a minute.

This wasn't here before.

He says he's Julia's cousin.

I say he's a fake.

I want an answer in 24 hours.

See, tiger?

Daddy's gonna take care|of this business.

You gonna be nice|to me again?

Hello?

Hunter, you're not|gonna believe this.

Bunny, I'm right here. Here for you.|I lost Thibault!

I lost him because|he was looking for a wizard.

And then he just...|freaked out...

Nobody just loses a guy...

...dressed like|a medieval knight in Chicago.

Well, I did.

Wait. Hold on a second.

Hello?

Yeah, does|anybody there know...

...the Count of whoop-de-do,|the Baron of blah...

Yes, I do.

Wonderful. Thank you.

All right, I found him.|I gotta go.

I'm so relieved.|Love you. Bye.

So he's back, huh?

Yeah. I was sort of hoping|he'd tripped on his cape...

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Christian Clavier

Christian Clavier (French pronunciation: ​[kʁis.tjɑ̃.klavje]; born 6 May 1952 in Paris) is a French actor, screenwriter, film producer and film director. He is the brother of French film director Stéphane Clavier. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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