Kaalakaandi Page #2

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curse your destiny? - Come on now."

"Your destination awaits you."

Hello.

- How are you, sir?

Rehmat, the less I see you,

the better it is.

My wife feels the same way!

My wife feels the same way!

My life is just f***ed.

- Your life?

I'm the one getting fleeced, man.

Tell Mr. Raza.

I'm not the one getting rich.

- Yes, all right.

What'll you have?

Tea, coffee, biscuits?

No, sir. There's a party

in the evening, I have to run.

Give me the bag.

Here.

- Please don't mind, sir.

What's there to mind?

It's a routine now.

Sir, thank you very much.

See you next month.

No! This is the last one.

I'm done.

Let me sleep in peace now.

What are you saying?

Yes. - This was such a lovely

excuse to meet you. I mean..

Find another excuse to meet me.

Come over for tea or something.

These meetings are

too expensive for me.

You're a millionaire.

A millionaire.

This is loose change for you.

Loose change? At this rate, I'll be

penniless and naked in the streets.

No, no, traffic's a mess as it is!

Isn't it?

- Bye.

Excuse me.

How are you?

How are you?

How long has Mr. Ashok

been drinking?

Since I got here.

- When did you get here?

Since I got here.

- When did you get here?

The day before.

That guy can drink.

Are you dancing tonight?

- What?

Dance?

Competition?

No.

What competition?

They'll dance. We'll dance.

We'll see who wins.

Why?

- Just like that. Cheap thrills.

Is this a wedding or a dance show?

Who's the judge? Madhuri?

Come on! How many times is

Angad going to get married?

If he has any sense, zero.

Give me a drag.

- Really?

Horrible.

What else have you got?

- What do you mean?

I mean, the stuff?

Are you okay?

- Tip-top.

What do you want?

Who's the pothead, you or I?

- I have a micro-dot, I think.

Who's the pothead, you or I?

- I have a micro-dot, I think.

LSD?

- Okay.

Okay, what?

- Okay, I'll take it.

Drop it.

- Why?

You don't take acid.

You drop it, bro.

Don't say that again.

You'll ruin the family name.

Give me your hand.

Red star.

Good stuff. Very good stuff.

Hey!

Where were you?

Nothing's happening.

Mr. Ashok's calling you.

- F***!

Go for it.

You're back? Where were you?

You're back? Where were you?

At the doctor's.

- Oh, yes. What did he say?

He said, it's not an..

Where are you going, Ramesh?

There, in the kitchen. The kitchen.

It needs to go to Mrs. Chopra.

Okay. Listen,

the photographer is done here.

Will you take her to Neha's place?

- When? - Now.

My son will drop you, okay?

- Hey!

Our after-party has already begun!

- Hi.

Can you take Angad with you?

He needs a haircut.

Hi.

- Hi.

Let's go.

- Can you see something here?

Toast? - No, here,

in the centre, where it's burnt.

Can you see anything?

- Burnt toast.

I told you! He says he can see

a Chinese word in it.

Hello, it's not Chinese, okay?

It's Japanese!

It says 'go' in Japanese.

You know, this toast

is telling me something.

This toast? - Yes.

- It's telling you something?

Yes, it's asking me

to do something.

Hang on.

Hang on.

Hang on a minute, let me see.

Oh, yes, what's this written here?

'Get-a-haircut-you-damn-fool.'

Let's go!

You're wearing this tonight?

- Yes, why?

No, nothing.

Mr. Bappi called.

He wants it back when you're done.

- Bro..

This is all custom

embroidery, okay?

There's only one

in the whole world.

And in the whole world, you're

the only damn fool to buy it.

Ma'am, please move.

There she is.

Hi!

Sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

Hey!

- You're drunk.

What're you doing with my mother?

Where's your girlfriend?

You know how she is!

- What? - And? - And what?

And..

Happy birthday! - Like she's

doing me a favour, b*tch.

The Americans won't know

what hit them.

You're going to ruin it

for the rest of us.

They won't give anyone a visa.

- Happy birthday!

Zubi!

- What're you having?

Nothing.

- F*** you..

Hey, come on!

- ...it's my birthday.

What're you having?

- I have a flight to

catch in a few hours.

- He doesn't. You go. Bye!

Come on. Come on.

You're such a pain, you know?

Okay, one drink,

and then we really have to go.

We'll go, we'll go

after a drink, okay? - Okay.

Hey, don't listen to her.

- Okay, we're not going.

We're not going..

JJ!

I want you to meet my oldest

friend in the whole world.

She doesn't look so old.

- Idiot.

This is Jehangir-Jehangir,

my sex slave.

Jehangir-Jehangir?

- Yes.

Long line of Parsi lunacy.

What's next on the menu, slave?

- Whatever you wish.

See?

- Will you roll us one, lovely boy?

I think,

I can read your mind.

I think,

I can read your mind.

So, what're you having?

- I'll.. I'll have a vodka.

Another round, same?

- Same. - I'll join you.

Where did you find him?

He just followed me home one day.

How convenient!

- Young boys. Obedient.

And always horny.

- Until they grow up.

Then you just find another one.

- You really should try

some..

- I'm not listening to you.

You really should listen to me.

We won't see this much money

even in a lifetime. Understand?

What's the big deal?

It's sitting there.

Open the bag and look.

I've been looking at it

like that for 15 years.

No more looking.

Now, I want it.

For me. Personal.

What did Saxena feed you inside?

Are you high or something?

What if..

we take some of this money?

Like a loan?

Then we'll return it.

No one will even know.

- Man, you're really talented.

You screw someone

and they don't even know.

That's why your wife

complains all the time.

I have a friend.

- Okay.

A builder.

- Okay.

He asked me to arrange

for some money.

He'll sell me an apartment

below market rate.

Then?

- Then what?

We'll get the flat

and sell it at market rate.

Keep the profit, return the money.

Simple.

How much time will this take?

- Time? I think..

How much time will this take?

- Time? I think..

About a month?

How much are we taking out?

Maybe, 2.5 million?

2.5 million goes missing

for a month

and no one will find out?

Why?

Because they're all fools, right?

Where's the money? Where's

the money that was sitting here?

There it is,

just went out for a stroll.

Here it is, coming back,

all by itself..

And into the bag.

F***er, you want

to steal from Mr. Raza?

Think about your family.

- I am.

I am thinking about my family.

I don't want

to do this all my life.

The daily nagging. We're out

of this, we're out of that.

My life is hell.

You'll end up in

a gutter minus your head.

Get it?

What'll I tell your wife?

Angad.

No, no, I can't see her

before the wedding.

It's bad luck.

Hey.

- Brother!

Neha. This is..

Rakhee, the photographer.

- Rakhee, the photographer.

Hi.

- Hi.

Let me get a picture

of both of you.

Smile.

Looking good.

- I know!

Can I see?

- Yes!

Zubin wanted to get

engaged before I left.

You're engaged now?

Wouldn't you know if I was engaged?

No, I don't take anything

for granted.

I said no. I mean, there's..

There's too much going on

right now. Not enough time.

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