Kaboom Page #4

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Golden rule of oral

Pay attention to how she's reacting

If she seems into something

Keep doing that same thing

Over and over and over

It's about finding the rhythm she likes

And sticking to it until the job is done

Got it

You want a practical?

So ready

Well, get busy son

Hey

- So we hooking up or what?

Excuse me?

I thought maybe you

might wanna have sex so

that You can do Rex via

the transfer property

If A fucks B, and B fucks C

It's like A fucks C by default

As appealing as you make that sound

I'll pass

You're not curious?

About...

What Rex is like in bed

Oh hey

- Hey

I just came by to pick up some stuff

Is everything alright?

Yeah Totally

Well late

See ya

What was that about?

- I don't know, got me

What is it?

I set a Google Alert For any news

of the dead girl in the dumpster

Did they finally identify her?

- Maybe

What?

It's gone

- What's gone?

The torso

Someone stole it

From the coroner's office

Today's the day

My 19th birthday

My morning starts out

Like any other

But very quickly

Weirdness takes over

And now what begins?

- The hell if I know

It's just freaking me out

Because the minute I woke up

I was overwhelmed by this vague sense

That some sort of

Major shift has occurred

Well I finally did break up with Lorelei

this morning

Yeah How did that go?

Yikes Then what happened?

This isn't over Stella

You have no f***ing idea

What you're getting yourself into

So are you worried?

Does Mel Gibson hate Jews?

Anyway, let's change the subject

Any word yet from what's-his-name?

Oswald?

- Oliver

No, I spent literally hours

honing my reply of a masterpiece

That's definitely interested but

Not too desperate for this

How long's it been?

Three days

I know

So, don't forget

We're seeing Helen Stellar

Tonight over in Ocean City

That's right!

F*** me!

Smith!

What happened?

Smith stepped into dog sh*t

And it's his birthday

Happy f***ing birthday!

Could this day get any worse?

Hello?

- Smith?

Hi, who is this?

Hunter

Who?

Hunter From the beach?

Oh hi, sorry

I didn't recognize your voice

That's okay Just playing back

In my mind the good time we had

Started getting a chub

Just thinking about it

So, I'm sure you have an important class

Or something to go to?

I'm totally free all afternoon

Sweet Wanna come down?

I'm on my way

I'll f*** you

Just a second!

Hold on!

Hey!

Dude, you don't have to hide your porn

I'm not your Mom

What do you mean?

Like you think the unmistakable sound of

gay porn Doesn't penetrate these walls?

Alright, biatch

You made your point

So I gather your tawdry hook-up

At the beach was a bust?

His cell went just when

He was going down on me

It's my wife

You're married?

- Yeah, I thought I told you

Gotta run, we'll take care

Of this guy later

Can you believe it?

Since it's you Yes

Anyway...

Happy Birthday monkey-spanker

What's this? You already got me

The Helen Stellar tickets

Shut up and open it already

Oh my God...

How did you...

I contacted them through their website

and they autographed it for me

This is so awesome Thank you

What are you doing right now?

Uhmm, I'm just Talking to Stella

Can you meet me in my room

In 20 minutes?

I have a birthday surprise for you

This is making me a little uncomfortable

Do you want your surprise

Or do you want to complain?

I'm not complaining

I really appreciate the effort

But...

London?

London, c'mon This isn't funny

Chill pill I'm right here

Can you please take

The blindfold off?

Seriously, you've had enough fun for...

Happy birthday

So epic

I know, I'm not gonna

Be able to hear for a week

I must admit after a shaky start

This may be the best birthday ever

Smith?

I thought that was you

Hey It's Oliver

Well, I'm just...

Uh huh

I'll meet you back at the car

So...

I just wanted to say...

Eat sh*t and kill yourself

Wait, what the f*** is that?

You're pissed at me?

Just next time someone puts

Their balls on the line like that

At least be man enough to respond!

I did respond, I sent an email

That was so long

And overbaked I thought I scared you off

Dude, I'm already over it

You don't have to lie

I'm not lying, I did want to

go out with you I still do

Are you f***ing with me now?

No

Just let me take you to dinner

And I'll prove it

Here, so we don't have

To rely on emails

Gimme your number

And I'll give you mine

I have a huge paper due Friday

But that night I'm totally open

Me too

Cool

So It's a date

You aren't gonna...

Flake again, are ya?

I'm calling you No matter what

Even if the world ends

I better get back to my friends They're

probably wondering what happened to me

Alright

See ya

So should I call him?

What?

Should I give Oliver a call, just to say

"Hi, it was nice running into you"

Good idea, let him know you're a

need-ball freak Right off the bat

Really?

Smith, the universe is finally smiling

on you And everything is going your way

Don't f*** it up

- Yeah right, okay

Can you pull over at the next stop

I haveta pee like a pregnant woman

Hello?

I'm sorry!

I'm sorry!

I didn't mean to

Are you alright?

Yeah

I was just dozed off

Do you remember me?

I think we've met before

At a party

I've never seen you before

In my life

You barfed on my shoe

And later that night

I saw three men

In animal masks...

I don't know what you're talking about

Are you sure?

Look I told you...

I don't know anything

Please I gotta go

Madeleine?

Madeleine O'Hara

What do you know

About the animal-masked men?

You gotta tell me

I had a twin sister

Named Rebecca

And when we were little...

Men in animal masks

Came and took her away

Dude, you already googled Rebecca O'Hara

On your BlackBerry

And got a million hits of nothing

Deal with it tomorrow

You're right. Let's just try to enjoy

Whatever's left of my birthday

So how does it feel to be 19?

Now what is it?

Nothing I'm just tired

So, any more crazy messages

From Lorelei?

Well, seems to have died down a little

So that's promising

Who knows

Maybe I was over-reacting

I mean I know how hell hath no fury and all

But could be, she's

Not as bonkers as we thought

Stella What's wrong?

I don't know, do you think

Maybe I'm being too much of a wimp?

Dude, you have a Fatal Attraction stalker

With supernatural powers

You've got every right to be creeped out

Yeah, okay Sold

I'm gonna give you the bed, lady

You want an Ambien?

- No

Thank you. After the day

we've had Don't think

I'm gonna have any

trouble falling asleep

Me neither, but I wanna be so knocked out I

don't want how many more gnarly nightmares

So where's Board Knight?

He disappears sometimes

For a few days

I assume he's off somewhere

Burying his bone in some...

Smith c'mon That's not funny

Smith, I'm not kidding

Cut it out

Smith, what the f***

You're freaking me out, stop it

It's not Smith

Smith, stop f***ing around

Stella, I told you

It's not Smith

I warned you Stella

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