Kangaroo Jack Page #3

You guys look so adorable.

- G'day, mate!

- Stop that, Louis.

Hey, Charlie, hold on!

Hold on, hold on.

You know who he looks like?

Jackie Legs!

Jackie Legs from Canarsie with the goatee!

Always wears sunglasses!

- What are you talking about?

- Hold on. Look.

Okay, look at it.

Right there. Look at that.

Jeez, that is Jackie Legs.

All right, Louis, enough.

Help me here.

It's lucky jacket time.

Come on, Louis, have some respect.

It's bad enough we ran him over.

Come on, just one picture

for the Brooklyn crew.

All right, one.

- But let's make this quick.

- Stay up there, big boy.

Say "cheese."

All right, come on, let's get this jacket off.

We got things to do, Louis.

Hey, come on, Charlie. One more.

This could be our Christmas card.

- Louis.

- What? What?

Charlie.

Jeez!

Hey, look.

- We didn't hurt him after all.

- It looked like we did.

You're a tough little guy, aren't you?

Hey, look how tall he is.

You all right, dog? Come on, come on!

I just got my ass kicked by a marsupial!

- You want to know the best part?

- What?

Now I never have to see

that stupid red jacket of yours again!

Charlie?

- Charlie!

- What?

The kangaroo got the money.

What are you talking about?

I put the money in the jacket

and the jacket on the kangaroo...

...and now he hopping away.

The kangaroo has the money?

The kangaroo has

Salvatore Maggio's $50,000?

Yeah.

Who puts a jacket

with 50,000 on a kangaroo?

A dead kangaroo! He was dead, Charlie!

You should have just let me drown, Louis,

I mean it!

- I see you now, sucker!

- Go, go, go! We got him! Go!

Look at that little fellow go, Charlie!

Look at him go!

Here we come, baby!

We gaining on him! Oh, my God.

Look at the fellow move, man.

I'm gonna pull up.

Reach out and grab the money!

You want me to open the door

and lean out of a speeding car!

Fine, Charlie! We'll just drive past him

and hope he hops in the jeep!

- Here I go!

- Okay.

- Here I go.

- Lean out there, baby!

Get me closer. Get me closer!

- He's hopping like a rabbit!

- Closer!

- Get me closer!

- I'm trying to get closer!

- Come on! Get him, baby!

- Closer, Louis!

- Get the money, Charlie!

- Closer, Louis! I almost got it!

- I'm almost there!

- Come on, Charlie! I can't hold on!

Get the money!

As it turns out, this is hard.

What are these things?

They're termite mounds!

I read about them in the book!

Careful, you almost missed one!

- You mine now, sucker!

- Yeah!

Go, go, go!

Stop, stop, stop!

I don't suppose you took the insurance?

My uncle always told me

that was just a rip-off.

Don't worry, Charlie.

We'll get the money back, all right?

It can't go far.

It's a continent, Louis. He can go very far.

I know it's a continent. I read the book.

You happen to read the chapter on

not putting your jacket on a wild animal?

No, but I read one on how an aboriginal

can kill a white man with a twig.

You wanna see that one?

The Old Alice Inn.

I'll buy you a beer and we'll catch

the end of the Knicks game.

Two beers. Big beers.

I'm gonna call Mr. Smith, let him know

there's been a slight delay.

- Slight delay?

- Yeah.

But we're working on it, all right?

Give me his number.

- Where's your phone?

- Around near the dunnies.

- You guys have a Denny's?

- No, the dunny.

The bog trough? The long drop?

- The thunder box?

- You know what?

I'm just gonna look for it by the bathroom.

Now, there's a Yank that can drink.

Any Yank that can drink is all right with me.

G'day. My name is Blue.

- Charlie.

- Nice to meet you, Chaza.

- Charlie.

- That's what I said, Chaza.

We're only two hours late.

He should be a reasonable

and understanding man.

- What?

- Mr. Smith?

- Yeah, you might not know me, but...

- Where are you bludgers?

I'm out here in the back of Bullamakanka

up to me ears in heat stroke...

... waiting for you two Yanks.

Where's me package?

It's been temporarily misplaced.

I don't reckon you respect me very much.

First you steal my package

and now you're on the phone...

... razzing me about it.

We didn't steal your package.

I swear! We're gonna get it back!

You'd be a banger short of a barbie

if you didn't, when I find you!

You better get ready

to cough it up...

...otherwise, I'll chop you into snags

and feed you to the crocs.

- Mr. Smith?

- Have a nice day.

One of me favorites.

A kangaroo. A kangaroo.

Kangaroo...

Wildlife Foundation.

- Louis, this is Blue. Blue, this is Louis.

- Hey, Blue.

- What'd Mr. Smith say?

- He was nice.

- He said everything was cool.

- Really?

He did say that we should do our best

to get the package back.

- Right. The package.

- The package!

Charlie?

Order me another drink. I got a plan.

This isn't my day.

You mind leaving a little for the camels?

You're American.

And you're drinking water

that comes from a stagnant pond.

I'm from Brooklyn. I've had a lot worse.

- My name is Louis.

- Name's Jessie.

- Nice to meet you.

- Wanna give me a hand?

Okay.

No offense, but these are

the ugliest rabbits I've ever seen.

They're called bilbies.

They're almost extinct.

In fact, it's up to these guys to repopulate

the entire Devil's Marbles area.

Somebody's gonna be having fun tonight!

That's the plan.

Looks like you'll need more bilbies, though.

Well, if the foundation I work for

had more money...

You mean the Wildlife Foundation?

- You work here?

- Yeah.

Thank you, Lord! This is great!

I need some help.

I put my lucky jacket

on the back of a dead kangaroo...

...who came to life

and hopped off with my money.

- You do need help.

- No, no, no, I'm for real.

Can you help me?

Do you have any idea where he is?

No.

It seems to me you need an airplane.

You need a tranquilizer gun...

You need a list.

Come on, come on, come on!

He's got it!

Charlie! Charlie!

Come here, man. Come here!

Give me one sec, guys.

You've gotta see this guy drink!

He's unbelievable!

I figured out how to catch that kangaroo.

First we hit it with a car and

now you want to blow its head off?

No.

This is a tranquilizer dart.

It works in three stages.

Stage one:
Temporary blindness.

Stage two:
Partial paralysis.

And stage three:
Complete

shutdown of all motor skills.

- Totally humane.

- Sounds humane.

I said it was temporary.

I walked to this wildlife office

and this American girl that works there...

...and she is...

Epileptic?

Her name is Jessie.

I told her the story and showed her

a photo of the kangaroo.

You told her the kangaroo has $50,000?

I told her the kangaroo has $4000

and our passports.

Not bad.

She told me the best way

to find a kangaroo is by air.

What's that?

A number to a bush plane that we can hire.

- I like it.

- Let's go call.

If I didn't know you better,

I'd say this is a honey of a plan.

Dang skippy.

Excuse me, mates.

Gotta point Percy at the porcelain.

Gee, almost made it.

Pilot's personal number.

Louis?

Do you have a backup plan?

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