Kate & Leopold Page #3

Hang-hang on a second.

Sorry about the elevator,

Miss Kate.

I've got them

on the phone right now.

Hey, Gracy.

This is Lionel,

Stuart's friend.

How do you do?

Ten minutes?

I need someone here right now.

-Watch it, man.

-I beg your pardon.

Hey, what are

you doing?

You need to be going

that way.

There's an electron...

Hello?

Hello? There's

an electronics store. Hello?

I'm sorry, miss.

There's a patch of grass

across the street.

Take him there.

He'll do his business.

Can you give this

to Stuart, please?

It's his cable bill.

They haul our furniture

and cradle our children

but this morning, from

the Battery to the Bronx

elevators have mysteriously...

So sorry.

Stupid!

I do beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon.

Are you going

to remove that?

I beg your pardon?

Pick it up and put it

in the trash.

Absolutely not.

Maybe you don't understand.

It's against the law

to leave it there.

Are you suggesting, madam,

there exists a law

compelling gentlemen to lay hold

of canine bowel movements?

I'm suggesting you

pick the poop up

and throw it away now.

I refuse. Respectfully.

All right.

What's your name,

fancy pants?

Leopold...

Alexis Elija...

Walker Thomas Garrett

Mountbatten.

All right, Stuart.

Have a nice day.

I appreciate you putting in

a good word for me

I appreciate you putting in

a good word for me

but J.J.'s not back from London.

Right. Bye.

What's with the elevators?

It's happening

everywhere.

Darci.

Last page.

I'm sorry.

Did everyone live

happily ever after?

He lost his leg to gangrene

waiting for her on the island.

But they're together now.

Wonderful.

Oh, look, you got

your Palm Pilot back.

A nightmare.

Okay, so who do I owe?

Okay, Bobby at Hasbro.

Reeves at Crunch.

And the finals came in

for "Love for Sale."

The call with

the studio's at 4:00.

The margarine thing's in 15

in the conference room

and J.J. wants to talk

to you before that.

Oh, and one more thing.

I remember that you told me

to start thinking ahead

so I know your brother's

getting back

from his retreat tomorrow

and if you want something

in the fridge...

-Darci...

-Mm-hmm?

Can you tell me

why I'm upset right now?

Because, uh...

J.J. called

this morning.

That is why I have a cell phone.

-So you can call me...

-Kate, Kate, he didn't call.

He just popped his head in here

and spoke two sentences.

So he's back?

Margo says he's going to

make a big announcement

about the merger

next week.

Margo? What does she know?

How does she know

anything about anything?

Oh. All right. So he

popped his head in here.

All right, so you have to tell

me exactly what he said, Darci.

You have to start

at the beginning and tell me...

He said, "Tell Kate I'm going

to sit in on Farmer's Bounty."

J.J.

Good morning, Kate.

Good morning.

I'll see you in there.

I'll see you in there.

Good Lord, it still stands.

The world has changed

all around it

but Roebling's erection

still stands!

That, my friend,

is a miracle.

What?

It's a miracle, man!

It's a bridge.

Tell me...

when did they adapt it

for steam engines?

The fire brigade.

I don't know

how it happened.

I found him in a shaft.

Stuart!

Leopold, what are you doing

out here?

Get back inside!

One, two, three.

They're taking him

to Goodman Memorial.

Fresh creamery butter.

Is there anything

more comforting?

There is

and I know you will agree

when you try Farmer's Bounty

with the essence of real butter

in every bite.

with the essence of real butter

in every bite.

Your first choice.

However, 45% of our demo

circled "shifty"

as his key descriptor.

Not good.

This is what I say.

Everybody should be trying

Farmer's Bounty

with the real, rich, creamy

taste of real butter.

Try it, and you will be losing

pounds. Poof! Boom! Voila!

Your second choice.

Unfortunately, the group found

him obnoxious, abrasive

and a whopping 72%

found him just plain creepy.

The spot rolls out in four days.

We have to...

What the hell

am I supposed to do?

We have to do

another session.

Tomorrow.

I had my assistant book

the response room at National

so we can decide

then and there.

Kate, are you all right?

You okay?

I'm fine.

Geez, Kate, I'd ask

for a decaf.

Monica, I need you

to call Barney's.

I need a white blouse,

size small

in Kate's office by lunch.

-Oh, dear.

Hi, you've reached Stuart.

Please leave a message.

STUART:

Leopold? Leopold, look,

don't be frightened.

This is Stuart, okay?

Is it Bell's talking telegraph?

I saw a prototype

at last year's faire.

I need you to pick up

the handset, Leo.

You pick up the green handset,

because I need to talk to you...

Are-are you there?

-Hello?

-Leopold, thank God.

Listen, they're taking me

to X Rays.

Everything's going to be fine

but you have to stay

in the apartment,

do you understand me?

Oh, Stuart,

I saw Roebling's bridge today.

I saw it... complete.

Yes, yes, but listen to me.

You can't go out again.

You have to stay

in the apartment.

Stay in the apartment?

For how long?

Leo, I'll be back tonight.

I promise--

no more field trips.

Would you...

Hel... hello?

Stuart? Hello?

Blast!

Hello.

Hello.

Who are you?

Hector. My mom works late

on Wednesdays

so I watch TV with Stuart.

Want some Pirate's Booty?

J.J.:

Hang on.

Excuse me, J.J., I wanted

to thank you for the shirt.

That was very nice.

Come in, come in.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Absolutely.

Oh, good, good.

Yeah, she's here right now.

I'll tell her.

Okay... okay.

Bye.

Sit down.

That was Barry.

He was thrilled

with your work

at the screening

last night.

Oh, good. Good.

You're a rarity

among women, Kate.

I'm sorry?

You don't cling

to illusion.

You don't get caught up

in emotion.

You don't do pretty.

I don't?

You skew male.

You're like a man.

A man who understands women--

their desires, their needs.

You understand them

but you're not really

one of them.

You don't mind my

being frank, do you?

No. I don't. No.

Edamame?

Kate?

But one day, he lowered

the Jolly Roger

-Stu?

-and set sail in search

of another kind

of treasure.

Not money, not

jewels, not gold...

but a bride.

Despite his being a ruffian

of the brine

fearless in his plunder

and merciless

with the sword

the Pirate King

was also lonely.

You see,

he had never met a lady.

He never met a girl?

No. Not a girl, not a lady,

not even his own mother.

-So what happened?

-As with all comedies

the most ridiculous thing

imaginable-- the Pirate King

fell in love with

the major-general's daughter.

I had the good fortune to see

the premiere last month

at the Fifth

Avenue Theatre.

Since when is Penzance

at the Fifth?

Is it your habit, sir

to simply enter a conversation

without introduction?

to simply enter a conversation

without introduction?

Whoa, you are deep in it.

It's cool. I'm an actor, too.

I'm Charlie. I live downstairs.

Kate McKay,

senior vice president.

Darci, it hasn't happened.

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