Kate and Leopold Page #4

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LEOPOLD:

Young lady, I... Surely it is not

expected that I remain here with you

indefinitely... Unchaperoned?

KATE:

(pen poised)

Does that make you nervous?

LEOPOLD:

Certainly not!

KATE:

(writing)

Then what are you getting so red

about? It's a very large apartment...

with locks on all the doors.

LEOPOLD:

The idea! My dear Miss Coles...

KATE:

Dr. Coles.

LEOPOLD:

Honey...

KATE:

(she puts the pad

down)

Let's get one thing straight right

now. My name is Kate or Katherine or

if you insist Dr. Coles.

(she rises)

Take a good long look, Leopold. I am

a 20th century American woman with a

Doctorate and a commission and

independence. I am not your "young

lady" or your "pretty Miss" or your

"honey." Is that clear?

Leopold watches her with great interest. Finally:

LEOPOLD:

Honey... For the tea.

KATE:

...I'll get it for you.

Kate grabs the teacup grandly and leaves the room.

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

Kate rummages through every drawer, shelf and cupboard

searching for the honey. Finally, she spots the honeybear

and squeezes honey A TAD TO VIOLENTLY into the tea. She tries

posing "confidently" then checks her reflection in the

toaster.

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING

Kate returns "confidently" with the tea and a plastic smile.

LEOPOLD:

Thank you... Has it been decided

what it is I am to do while I am

being held here?

KATE:

Oh, just some laundry, the cooking,

a little light housework...

Leopold doesn't react.

KATE:

(clearing her throat)

I took the liberty of preparing a

simple schedule to efficiently utilize

your time while incorporating you

into my routine.

(she hands him a

schedule)

As you can see, my day begins with

meditation and yoga from 6:30 to

7:
00.

She moves in close to him, making Leopold uncomfortable.

KATE:

YOU will arise at 6:45, shower and

change and at 7:
15, we breakfast

together. 7:
45 we begin the days

work. At 10:
45 Dr. Kau arrives to

observe you in your natural routine

as I research the data that will

enable you to return home. At 1:15

we lunch together. 2:15 you answer a

daily questionnaire, I type up my

notes. At precisely 6:15 you will

enjoy 15 minutes of FREE TIME, then,

at 6:
30, I listen to Tom Brokaw while

making dinner as YOU write down any

questions that come up during your

day. At 7:
00, we dine together. If

you need me at any time you may ring

this bell.

She rings a tiny dinner bell. He is about to speak.

KATE:

Now, Mondays and Wednesdays I have

computer science class, Tuesdays I

have therapy. IF I have a date, I'm

usually home by 9:15. During these

periods you may read any of the books

I've picked out for you in your room.

I organize my next days work at 10:30,

11:
35, David Letterman, 12:40 I'm in

bed.

(she takes a breath,

smiles at him)

Next day we begin again. Simple?

LEOPOLD:

(after a beat, with

great dignity)

...At what time shall I WEE and POOH?

Kate is forced into a stunned silence.

CHARLIE'S VOICE

Kate? I'm home.

KATE:

Oh. Yes. Our chaperone is here.

LEOPOLD:

Your father?

KATE:

Sort of. My brother.

LEOPOLD:

Visiting?

KATE:

For the past two years. Charlie can

never know about this project. We'll

tell him you are a... overly

distinguished colleague staying here

as our guest. From Canada. Which

would explain your lack of familiarity

with our customs and so forth

LEOPOLD:

(aghast)

A CANADIAN?

KATE:

Make yourself comfortable. I'll check

in on you later. I think this is

going very well, don't you?

Leopold looks at her blankly.

KATE:

Okay. If you need anything, just

ring.

Kate tinkles the bell, fumbles for the knob and heads out.

P.O.V. still on Leopold.

KATE (V.O.)

(shouting)

Charlie!

Leopold reacts.

CHARLIE (V.O.)

(screaming just as

loud)

What?

KATE:

(still shouting)

Come here I wanna talk to you.

Leopold listens at the door. He slowly opens it, takes two

steps out, peers around the corner, then quickly steps back

in. He takes a DEEP FRIGHTENED BREATH and slowly deflates.

INT. CHARLIE'S STUDIO - MORNING

Charlie sits on the couch smoking a cigarette surrounded by

his paintings. He is a likable twentysomething with a big

mouth.

CHARLIE:

What did I do?

KATE:

(removing his coffee

from the table,

setting it on a

coaster)

RINGS! And what did I say about you

smoking in the house?

CHARLIE:

You were against it.

KATE:

Correct. You're back early.

(She takes away his

cigarette)

CHARLIE:

Hey!... Are you all right? You look

funny.

KATE:

Funny ha ha or funny odd?

CHARLIE:

Both.

KATE:

That all depends. How was your trip?

CHARLIE:

Why?

KATE:

If it was good I'll tell you the

truth. If it was rotten I'll have to

butter you up first.

CHARLIE:

Butter me up.

KATE:

Have you been working out? No, I'm

really starting to see results. Are

you comfortable there on the couch?

CHARLIE:

Very.

KATE:

Good. Cause you'll be sleeping there

the next few nights.

CHARLIE:

Kate!

KATE:

You have to be out of here by 8 and

you can't be back before 6. We have

an important man working with us

with very unusual needs. The company

is insisting he stay here.

CHARLIE:

What about a hotel?

KATE:

This man requires around the clock

attention.

CHARLIE:

I meant for me.

KATE:

Thank you, Charlie.

(she kisses his

forehead)

I owe you one.

CHARLIE:

You owe me nine. What am I supposed

to do all day?

KATE:

(as if having an

epiphany)

You could get a job!

CHARLIE:

Kate, the entire point of being an

artist is that I don't have to work.

Who is this guy?

KATE:

Well, I can't tell you much because...

KATE AND CHARLIE

I'm not allowed to discuss what goes

on at the office.

KATE:

Well I'm not. Anyway, it might be

interesting to have someone else to

talk to. It gets so quiet around

here sometimes I feel like I've gone

deaf.

CHARLIE:

Does he have a label?

KATE:

Leopold.

CHARLIE:

LEOPOLD? Is he anything like his

name?

KATE:

He's exactly like his name.

CHARLIE:

Then you owe me ten.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Leopold PEEKS around the entrance to the living room.

Confident it's unoccupied, he majestically walks inside: Up

to date gadgetry, Charlie's modern art work, bright

fashionable furniture. Leopold recoils. His eyes come to

rest on the television set. The ON OFF buttons loom large.

He looks around the room then brazenly presses the button

ON.

Instantly, REGIS and KATHY LEE loudly berate each other before

an excited crowd.

Leopold jumps back several feet, hands flailing in front of

him as if shooing away a bee. He quickly, yet cautiously,

slams the power OFF.

LEOPOLD:

Horrible!

He quickly scurries out the hallway.

He stops abruptly. He remains very still. Composing himself,

he turns and deliberately faces the room. After a moment, he

purposefully steps back inside.

He makes a large ARC around the television set, is confronted

by one of Charlie's sculptures and makes an ARC around that.

He finds himself in front of a light switch and gingerly

examines it. As he does, track lighting ILLUMINATES the room.

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