Katt Williams: Priceless: Afterlife Page #6

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bullshit going to happen,

and you need somebody

that you can post the f***

up with in times of trouble.

I didn't know you could

stay single too long.

Nobody f***ing told me that.

I f***ed around,

stayed single so long,

now I'm in the gray area.

I'm in the gray area.

I didn't even know

there was a gray area.

I stayed single too long.

Everybody I f***,

she's either too young

or she's

too motherfucking old.

If she's too young,

she's a greedy rabbit.

If she's too old,

she's a needy fish.

Both of 'em

got different sh*t.

If she too young,

you know she too young.

How do you know?

She is doing

everything she ever saw

on any porno

on your nonporno dick.

Sh*t that has nothing

to do with sex at all.

She just...

Fellas, have you

ever been f***ing her,

and she too young, and you

realize halfway through

this is not a f***,

this is a fight?

She don't give a f***

about your pelvis at all.

Fellas, you ever had her

knock you off

your pivot foot?

She just...

A greedy rabbit.

Both of 'em talk too much.

But at least

the greedy rabbit

is saying inspirational,

motivational sh*t

to the dick.

She just,

"Yes, yes, yes,

yes, yes, yes,

that's good.

All right. That's good.

Right.

Yes, yes, yes, yes."

The old one

talk too much too...

but you can't

understand sh*t she saying.

When you do,

it's going to scare

the sh*t out of you.

She just, "Raah.

Raah.

Eh, glory.

Ah, Jes... hah.

Ah, hot water, corn bread.

Ah-hah."

She's too old.

She's a needy fish.

Got to pay attention to her.

They ain't like a young one.

As a fella,

you just used to showing up

at the battlefield...

unsheathing your sword,

and jumping

right into the battle.

Not if she too old.

No, you got to watch her.

You used to being able

to just watch her face

and know how you doing.

Not if she too old,

'cause you don't know

none of her faces.

She fixing to come

and die with the same face.

How the f***

am I supposed to know?

She just...

Just saying,

they're both different.

I stayed single

too motherfucking long,

and the world

is beginning to change.

And I been hearing ladies

think motherfuckers

have changed

as it comes to them.

Ladies, I can't speak

for all men

in attendance today,

but I can speak

for all heterosexual men

in attendance today,

and, ladies, let me say

nothing between men

and women has changed at all.

We love y'all now

the same way we

have always loved y'all.

We put p*ssy

above everything on Earth,

same as usual.

P*ssy, then the rest of it,

that's how it goes.

P*ssy's so good,

we don't even have

good reasons for it.

P*ssy is delicious...

because it

has p*ssy in it.

That's been good enough for

men for thousands of years.

And as men,

we hate to see

p*ssy get attacked.

We all as men

remember

where we were last year

when we saw p*ssy get

attacked for the first time,

when Michael Douglas

got on TV

and said

he caught throat cancer

from eating p*ssy.

Every man in the world

stopped in front

of his TV, like,

"What the f***,

Michael Douglas?!

Don't throw p*ssy

under the bus,

you son of a b*tch.

Say you were smoking

Cuban cigars

and sucking dick,

you motherf***er."

Life is already

too hard as it is.

You can't die

from eating p*ssy.

That's in Revelations.

You already embarrassed

to eat the box

for the first time

as it is.

Now this b*tch done

got a hair in my throat.

I thought she was trying

to assassinate me. I...

"Agh.

Ah, you dirty b*tch. Agh.

Agh, I can't believe

you brought that smoky-ass

uterus over here, b*tch.

Agh.

Ah, I feel a tumor in my throat

already, b*tch. Agh."

In conclusion...

when we leave

this building,

the police

is going to be out there.

The people that...

the people that hate you

not because

you better than them,

but because

you try harder than them

and you work harder

than them,

and you care

more than they do...

...those people

are outside, and...

and the people that say

even if you doing good,

you is fixing to f*** up,

them people are outside.

And the people that see

you f***ed up and go,

"I bet you don't come back,"

they outside too.

But what's in here

is people that know

no matter how sh*t looks,

the real sh*t is

going to be the real sh*t

as long as real sh*t

is valuable.

Because everybody

in the world

has a price,

because if you didn't,

you'd be priceless.

This is to the motherfuckers

who cannot be bought,

but can be fought.

Y'all been all that.

I'm Katt Williams.

Thank you ever so much.

Please give it up for our director,

our announcers.

Please give it up for...

I see you.

Please give it up

for yourself

for believing in me.

God bless you,

and good night.

This is how we do it.

Let's do it

All out like Janet

at the Super Bowl

Falling on these hos

like I'm getting rolled

You niggas burn me all day

in my street clothes

Pull up, and I'm flexing

with your new ho

Yep, man,

that's just how I do it

20 deep in the club like

it ain't nothing to it

Money is the language

and, yeah, I'm flowing

Like a high-top fade

with my last name Ewing

You ain't heard,

you ain't heard

I'm the man round here,

money, hos, and clothes

That's the play around here

Couple freaks in the club,

girl, do your thing

Back it up on the young,

sh*t, that's what I gave

Hey, I got a swag

ladies kill for

Whip outside, and it's

sitting on the low post

The homeys turnt up,

probably got the four-four

So chill, brah, we don't

want to have to let it go

Boo-yah, go like

Slick Rick the Ruler

Ass so phat,

I need a ruler

We be going all out,

everybody know us

Every time I show up,

better that we go up

B*tch, I speed

in a whip like trotter

I ain't worried

about a header

I just count gwap

Turn up

all these hos in here

Going strong in the VIP,

let 'em know we here

- We going all out

- All out, all out

Yeah, we ball out,

ball out, ball out

Going all out,

all out, all out

Going strong in the VIP,

let 'em know we here

Hey, all out

like Girls Gone Wild

Ball so hard,

hating niggas want to foul

Like, swish, we be

doing hard in the field

Got a couple hos

here to wheel

Pushing at the 110, whatty

Banging that even 40

24s on the thing,

I call that sh*t Cubby

Got gold in my Rolly,

money make you wanna know me

I'm copping everything

like Axel Foley

G-G-Got the club

all turnt up

Turnt up...

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