Kazaam Page #3

- Come over here.

And this amazing wonder

is Asia Moon. Son of a gun.

I can't believe it! Look how

big you got! This is my son.

- Champagne?

- What, are you stupid? He's a kid.

Get that outta here. Hey,

don't we have some pizza comin'?

You like pizza, kid? Come over here.

I want you to check something out.

You like music? Come here. Sit

down, sit down. Listen to this.

So what do you think?

Is this place smokin' or what?

- How old are you?

- Twelve.

Where the hell's the pizza?

Three large, two medium. Pizza

'Zaam's here to bust the tedium.

You know him?

- What?

- Maybe a football or a basketball?

I don't think rewarding him

is a very good idea right now.

It's not to reward him.

- Hi, guys.

- It's to straighten him out.

Where have you been, hmm? Not

at school. You are grounded!

- I've really had it this time, Max.

- Hold it, hold it.

- Two days you have not been-- -

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Alice.

- What?

- Why don't we sit down and talk?

- Because I am not finished.

- I'm a little busy.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

One second, Mr. Connor.

You know, we are going to start

changing the way things work around here.

From now on, you're gonna come home from

school, and you're gonna start doing chores.

- ''Chores''?

- Yes, chores.

What do you mean, chores? Milk the

cows, feed chickens? I don't get it.

- Max, this is exactly the thing...

- All right, all right.

- That is really putting me over the edge.

- Wait a minute. Forget chores.

Forget chores. What we mean

is, we want to help you.

We're gonna get you a tutor, and I'd

like to start picking you up after school.

He's not picking me up after school. I

don't have to listen to you, all right?

You're not my father. You

will never be my father!

- You watch your mouth.

- Watch yours! You lied to me!

You told me my father wasn't

here, but he is! I've seen him!

Max.

Please.

Wait.

You're right.

I did lie.

Your father showed up a

couple of months ago and...

I didn't know

what to do.

Why did he leave?

Sometimes things just don't

turn out the way you plan.

I know that I'm not the best

mother in the world, Max...

but I want you

to have a real father...

one who's around,

who you can count on.

- Do you understand that?

- No.

So, tough guy...

- what's ''grounded''?

- Something I'm not!

My dad says it's

the blood that counts.

I'll get a job!

I'll show them!

Maybe I'll even be a personal

assistant! I'll show them all!

Once I know the business and stuff,

I can even have a band myself.

- My dad will manage us.

- Pretty big dreams, kid.

What do you know?

You live in a box!

Boom box, that is. So what?

Every once in awhile,

someone drags me out.

And I do see things.

Like a whole bunch of silly people,

counting on a whole bunch of silly wishes.

Let me be the first to tell you, the

future don't always follow the plan.

Because the plan

sucks big time!

See, I'm making

my future here, Kaz...

and the next step is two all-access

passes to tonight's concert.

# Ooh party people,

Come on make some noise #

#And if you come to jam, baby

Throw up your hands #

# I'm lookin' at 'em, sister

All Bill, Bobs and Janes #

# That's all I see #

#There's nothing

Nothing there for me #

Don't say I didn't

warn you, boys.

I think I'm gonna

wait outside, Max.

No way, man.

This is cool!

Rocky, Bullwinkle,

shall we?

Come on, Rocky.

# That's all I see There's

nothing Nothing there for me #

# Come on, do your thing

If you want it, Mr. Granite #

#A lady on the side Get up,

get up If you can stand #

# Ooh Who's the cutie over

there From another planet #

# Don't just stare Come over here and

let me see you jiggy,jiggy jam it #

Buddy, it's like trying to hide

a tanker behind a sailboat.

- What if they don't like me?

- They already don't like you.

The question is,

what are you gonna do about it?

Get set for my

tete-a-tete-tete.

#Ha-ha,you see what I got So

let me see what you could get #

#The things I seen

Would make you sweat #

#Kings and fools

They're all fish in my net #

- # 'Cause I am Kazaam #

- # Ooh, man #

#I'm more than I seem You all

are lookin' at your dream #

# In your coffee, I'm the cream

One wish, I get extreme #

Oh, Mr. Malik.

Your club--

What a place.

- I knew it was gonna be hot.

- I always deliver...

more than I promise.

Oh! So do I.

I've got lots of clients--

#As Romeo said beforeJuliet #

# Grab four of your friends

We'll have a sextet #

# Hmm, I don't know

He's kind of making me sweat #

# I got your sweat

But can this man slam it #

- #And if your girls are

hungry # - # Uh-huh, and #

# Let's green egg

and ham it #

I'm looking for Mr. Matteo.

All right.

You took this job,

no questions asked!

No, I was hired to record a live

performance, not bootleg a legit album!

- I quit!

- Get over here!

The last one of these tapes was

worth a million dollars to Malik.

- 'Cause piracy's a felony, Nick. I

don't want to be involved. - Oh, r--

What are you doing here? Get outta

here! Let me paint a picture for you, Ed.

- Fine. Go ahead

- You are involved!

- No, I'm not involved.

- I said get out of here!

I quit, Nick!

- Dad--

It's not my problem anymore!

I got 50,000 blanks coming

in our little loading dock!

- You better have that tape ready by 3:00!

- Dad!

- Forget about it, Nick.

- I told you to get out of here!

- I'm tellin' ya, I'm outta here!

- Shut up!

You stay there.

What the hell are you doing

here? Are you looking for trouble?

Dad, I thought it was

just gonna be you and I.

There is no ''you and I.''

- Dad.

- Get out and stay out!

But, Dad,

you don't understand.

I told you Spinderella

would pack the house.

You mean you've done

your job. Good boy.

But what I am really

interested in is this man.

- I don't know who he is.

Just some guy.

You gotta watch

for these things, Nick.

You gotta keep your

eyes open for new talent.

You gotta look

for the sparkle.

Nick tells me

what a good man you are.

I'm counting on it.

Hey, what are you

doing here?

I didn't know Spinderella opened

the show with a dwarf tossing.

- Where'd you find this,

trash dumpster?

- No, I was in there, all right?

- Yeah, I suppose you got...

a key to the studio.

Look, I was all over. I

was in the V.I.P. Section.

I can go wherever I want.

I got pull.

- Oh, he's got pull now. Pull this.

- Yeah.

I'm tellin'the truth. They're doin'a

live recording worth a million bucks.

They're taping it right now. If I wanted

to, I could go straight back in there...

straight to the recording booth

and put the tape in your hands.

Hey...

you mean that, homie?

Yeah.

Yeah, I do.

Something new on the plate?

Him? He's tall, Malik.

Don't mistake that

for interesting.

I was raised

to find everything interesting.

He's got a secret

bigger than he is.

Know a person's secret,

you own them.

Bring me his.

Kazaam! Hey, Kazaam!

- Malik would like you to join us tonight.

- Would you sign mine?

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