Kazaam Page #4

The thing is...

I'm looking for Max.

He's with Nick. And I think

we'll just be in the way.

Please, my favorite.

- Nubian goat eyes?

- The food of kings!

I haven't had these

in 3,000...

days.

You have old-fashioned taste.

I don't get out much.

That we can change.

No, go around

to the other side.

Shh!

- You're late!

Come on!

Hurry up!

- What, are you crazy?

All right.

Hey, Shep,

bring it down here!

- Traffic at 2:
00 in the morning?

- Yeah.

Come on. It was supposed to already

be here. I told you five minutes ago.

Mr. Matteo, I got the tape!

It's finished!

Wait right here. I'll be right

back down. Close the door.

- What door?- The loading dock

door. Just press the button.

- What button?

- The button on the side!

Hey, wait!

- Downstairs!

Come on!

- Let's go!

- All right, you punks!

All right, let's go!

Let's go!

Come back here, you guys!

Hey--

Hey, hold it right there!

- Hey!

- Come on back here!

Mom?

# 'Cause I am Kazaam ##

- # I'm more than I seem #

- Get off me!

- #You are looking at the dream #

- Let me go! Ow!

- # In your coffee I'm the cream ##

- Get off me, you pervert! Ow!

Get out of my bed!

You know, you were right for me to get out

there last night. They totally loved me.

- What are you

doing here anyway?

Look, Virgo.

That wasn't here yesterday.

- Hey, what's this?

- What are you doing here anyway?

- What you looking for?

- Nothing! I'm looking for nothing!

Nothing is good.

What's this, science?

''Polar covalent bonds have an

ionic-- '' You know this stuff?

My mom wishes I did.

Hey!

Wow. You're a genie too.

You should've seen us last night

in Malik's limo,just chillin'.

Having a good time,

eating goat eyes,just chillin'.

What's that?

You-You smell like

hippopotamus butt!

Damn.

You know, your father

sure is lucky to work

with Malik. He says I

got a future in the biz.

Is Asia gonna love me

or what?

Especially now. So, you and your

father have a nice night too?

- Nice night?

Max!

- French toast!

- Ahh. Ooh.

Rotie francaise?

I love it beaucoup,

beaucoup, beaucoup!

Mmm.

Max. Hey.

Hey, hey, hey.

That's right,

it's poison.

I figured if I ended your

suffering, mine would end too.

Max. Last night--

don't do that again.

I made your favorite, with

chocolate chips and peanut butter.

- I'm not hungry. Do I have

to have this-- - Max! Please!

For once in your life,

let me have the last word.

Okay?

So, so sorry.

Max insisted.

He's told me so much

about you.

I- I'm sorry.

H- Have I met you before?

No, ma'am, I haven't had the pleasure.

I am Jefferson Allensworth Lamb.

''Jefferson'' for he who

framed our fine constitution...

''Allensworth'' for he who founded

a community of free blacks...

and ''Lamb'' because I like

to eat lamb chops.

- And you're

a friend of Max 's?

How sweet of you

to call me a friend...

but the school district more

commonly refers to me as a tutor.

A tutor?

Oh, the school got you a tutor?

Oh, I-I'm sorry.

I- I didn't hear the door.

Uh, you've

been studying?

Y- Yeah, yeah, I have, inverse

ratios of height to intelligence.

He gets that wit

from me.

Uh, well, Mr. Lamb, would,

uh-- Have you had breakfast yet?

Chocolate and peanut butter

French toast? Heavenly.

Oh, please. Sit down.

What are you doing here?

Get out of here. Get out.

- I'll make some more.

- Don't bother. I'm not hungry.

- Breakfast wars. Yes, you are.

- Not even a little hungry?

- Oh, Max?

- What?

Max, wait up!

So, what did you and

your father do last night?

Do?

Uh, lots of stuff.

- ''Stuff'' is good. What kind of stuff?

- Stuff, okay?

Oh. Hmm, I used to do

stuff a long time ago.

Shouldn't you

be going to school?

- I'm not going.

- Say what?

No, I'm not going

to school!

So, what do you think about this

shirt? Do I look cool or what?

Hey...

what's like the worst thing

you've ever seen in your life?

The destruction of Pompeii.

- That was a wish? That was you?

- Look, I didn't have a choice.

Besides, I did some hard time

under that ash. Try 342 years.

So, like, I mean,

what about you?

You ever take anything

you shouldn't have...

- or somethinglike that,you know?

- Me?

Yeah. Like, what's the

worst thing you've ever done?

Look, can we talk about this later? I

got things I gotta do, people I gotta see.

- What?

- I gotta get ready.

- Ready for what?

- For tonight.

- Tonight?

- I'm gonna perform.

- You?

- Yeah, you said I was cool.

Yeah, well, what are you

gonna rap about?

You're right. The whole

thing is giving me tension.

- I can't even decide what to wear.

- It doesn't matter what you wear.

I mean, but you gotta have

something to rap about, your rhymes.

I mean, you gotta have

something to say.

- Now what do you know about rapping?

- I know a few things.

- Yeah, right.

- My name is Max, so get these facts.

I'm on my heavy B.M.X.,

and I make some tracks.

That's whack!

- That's horrible! Oh, my God, that's awful.

- You do better.

# My name is Kazaam I got the

whole plan So listen to the man #

- # 'Cause I'm the sultan

of sand #

# Is that it

Is that the whole deal #

#You want to be a hit

You better get real #

# I did have this friend

in 1000 B.C. #

# We discovered a bevy

of bathing beauties #

# Hbur looks to me

and I says to he #

#Why don't we jump

in that old Euphrates #

#So that's the whole story

That's all you gotta tell #

#You got to listen to my rap

from bell to bell #

#Those babies had rabies

and we was in Hades #

# 'Cause we moved with the harem

of the Prince Akba d'Karem #

# So it's you and Hbur

in 1000 B.C. #

# Buried to our necks

in sand like the sea #

# By a sultan with a sword

and a lock and a key #

# Ooh, they're in deep

Will they ever get free #

# So, it's me

and Hbur in 1000 B.C. #

- # Praying to the gods #

- #And what do you see #

#A man with a halo

and a nasty decree #

# I'll save your butt

But you gonna serve me #

# I nod to Hbur

He nods to me #

#And when the magic is over

We ain't men #

- #We genie #

- #We genie #

# Bob your head, Max #

#We were buried to our necks

in sand like the sea #

# By a sultan with a sword

and a lock and a key #

#And I looks to Hbur

and he says to me #

#And when the magic is over #

#We ain't men, we genie #

What are we, Max?

#We genie #

- I can't hear you, Max!

I cannot hear you!

What are we?

#We genie ##

Man, it must be great

to be a genie.

Sure, except

you're locked up.

A couple of millennia later,

your lamp breaks.

Oh, you think you're free, but

you're sucked into a compass.

You go down with the ship.

One day, you're salvaged.

You wind up in a radiator, a trombone.

You got it; a broken boom box.

But you can just snap your

fingers and have anything.

Yeah, but I can't

make myself free.

Or make someone

fall in love.

Or even make someone fall in love

with me. I can't even touch destiny.

Well, I just wish I could

change things, you know?

Make things different.

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