Keeping the Faith Page #6

- Hi.

Can we close your blinds and... What?

- Remember that guy I told you about?

- The guy...

Mr. 23rd Floor? Check it out.

There, with the huge plant.

- Nothing interesting will be going on...

- Trust me.

- Holy Majoly!

- Told you.

Does he have music on in there?

He's, like, porn-slapping her.

- Okay, we should go now.

- He has healthy self-confidence.

- Ready? Let's go.

- Hang on, I'm learning something here.

- We'll be late.

- You'll benefit from this.

ANNA:
I can't Wednesday night,

I've a class.

JAKE:
What class?

ANNA:
I try new things.

I'm embarrassed talking about it.

JAKE:
Don't be embarrassed.

Many people take aikido.

- Nope.

- Line-dancing.

- Not even close.

- What's the big deal, why can't I know?

- Feng shui?

- No!

Don't be embarrassed if it is.

Don't tell me, I don't need to know.

I like the "mysterioso" quality.

It's very sexy.

- That's good. All right. I gotta pee.

- Hold on, I want to tell you something.

(KISSING)

Hold that thought.

- Look who's here!

- Hey! Hey!

Holy... How you doing?

Larry, Ellen, what are you doing here?

We're buying a turkey!

No, we're seeing a movie.

Are you alone?

No. I mean, I'm with an old friend.

Why, when Emma Gerber

wants you to take her daughter out?

You should call,

the family's very wealthy.

- Though she's no Rachel Rose.

- They can make donations.

I've got to call her, but right now

I'm taking a break from dating.

- Whoa!

- Look who it is!

- We were talking about Rachel.

- Naturally.

- Did you come together?

- No...

- This is why I love New York.

- It's true.

These are my movie girls,

this is Roz and Chaya Lentz.

- We're seeing the Garcia picture.

- So are we!

My daughter's been back a week.

She said she called you a few times.

She's disappointed

not to have seen you.

- How you doing? Perfect.

- LARRY:
This is your friend?

This is my buddy, Anna.

These are people...

This is Larry Friedman,

president of the synagogue.

ANNA:
I've heard so much about you.

- Nice to meet you.

- And Bonnie Rose, and the Luntzes...

- Lentzes!

- Lentzes.

- They're from the congregation.

- I didn't get your last name.

- Reilly.

- Reilly?

We, Anna and I and Father Brian,

as children, used to play.

What are you seeing?

- Andy Garcia...

- The IMAX... He's in that, right?

- I don't think so. We should go.

- I thought he was in that.

MAN:
Where are the paper towels?

There are no paper towels.

I'm in a crisis here! I need help!

I need someone who,

when there are no paper towels,

they go to a goddamn store

and buy some paper towels!

How many jobs do you hope to pull

with no paper towels?

- You okay?

- I'm cool.

I need someone with

a little common sense around here.

WOMAN:
Why not get somebody else?

- Okay, what?

- If we were going out, I'd be pissed off!

That was a scary situation for me,

and you made it worse!

That is no excuse for what just went on!

I'm sorry, too bad,

you have to deal with it.

- Then I'd say...

- What would you say?

Come on, bring it, bring the pain!

Say it, say it all.

It's a good thing

we're not going out, then.

- Thank God.

- Thank God.

- I wasn't really mad, were you?

- No, but you'll still get a spanking.

- You are in such good shape.

- Are you all right?

No, you gotta stretch.

You gotta stretch, or you'll tighten up.

- Come on. Does that hurt?

- No, it feels good.

Harder.

Harder!

- Okay, that's enough.

- You're such a wimp.

(PULSING HEARTBEAT)

(ROAR OF AIRCRAFT ENGINE)

(GASPS)

(PHONE RINGS)

ANNA:
Only three people

have this number,

so if you're not one of them,

leave me alone.

BRIAN:
Hey, it's me. Are you there?

(SILLY VOICE)

Hello? Pick up the phone!

Probably still at work. It's not that

important. Just thinking about you.

Maybe we can do dinner this week,

just you and me.

This is Brian, by the way.

You know where to find me.

Call me, okay? Bye.

- Gotta go now.

- Give me 20 minutes.

- Twenty minutes? I'm late.

- Okay, 15 minutes.

- Fourteen and a half minutes. Please.

- I have to go back to the mines.

- We all have to.

- Don't you have work?

I do. We're doing a hostile takeover

of another congregation.

- Okay. You do that.

- Okay.

- I'm officially going now.

- Okay.

Toll booth. Ding dong.

- Time to pay the toll.

- Okay.

There. I paid.

God was showing off

when He made you.

Okay, go.

You'll be back. They all come back.

(MAN WHISTLING)

(HUMMING)

Ah, yes, they all come back...

Sooner or later, they all...

Hey.

- Hi, how are you?

- Good, how are you doing?

What's up, my man?

- Why are you here?

- I want to get the karaoke machine.

- Am I interrupting?

- Yeah, I got a blonde in the back.

- Let's go.

- Now?

- Yes.

- Okay. Come in for a second.

- No, the place closes in 20 minutes.

- Come in for one second.

Hey, ADD boy, right here.

If you want to get it, let's get it.

But be with me when we get it.

- Stay focused, okay?

- I'm with you. Okay.

Test, test. Sibilance...

I'm the king of rock.

Ain't none higher. This doesn't work.

The guy's in the back, I can't find him.

The contractor wants to come

on Tuesday. Can you do that?

- Tuesday...

- We have to punch up or punch out...

- I didn't understand, I just said okay.

- Tuesday, I'm with the Schwartzes.

What about Thursday night?

I think they can do Thursday night.

I can't do that, I got a thing.

Can you cancel? We're behind

schedule, they're getting irritable.

It's just that Anna wants me

to take her to this office party...

- I don't know what it is.

- Really? Is it a big thing?

No, it's just that

she needs someone to go with.

- No, she didn't mention it to me.

- No, it's not a... Whatever.

(SINGING) He's a friend

and he's always

been a good friend of mine

But lately something's changed

that ain't hard to define

It's just he's got himself a girl

and I want to make her mine

And she's watching him

with those eyes

And she's loving him with her body

and of course I just know it

You know that I was Jessie's girl...

(VOCALIZING)

(HEAVY ACCENT)

How you guys doing? I'm Don.

- Don. Rhyme with flan.

- Hi, Don.

- You have any question?

- Yes. Indeed, Don, we do.

- Is this a good machine?

- Yes, if you're a cheap bastard!

Just doing comedy with you.

That one is okay, but if you

really serious about karaoke...

- We are.

- Then there only one model for you.

The Audio 2000.

This baby got the 16-bit dual

DA converter, three-beam tracking.

Digital key controller, so you can

change the pitch if your voice sucks.

I don't need that.

That's nice. How much?

- Price is not important.

- No, price is very important.

Okay, you got me, take me away!

It's a little bit expensive.

But let me tell you, it's worth it.

When you sing to your girlfriend,

and her heart... Boom!

Fall down on the floor,

then you say, "Thank you, Don!"

Okay. How much does it cost exactly?

(OWN VOICE)

All right, here's the real deal, okay?

I don't usually do this,

but you look like cool guys,

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