Keeping the Faith Page #7

and I got a piece of ass last night

so I'm feeling generous.

Oh!

I'll let you have it for 1, 300.

- 1, 300?

- Final offer.

- Excuse me, I feel a little warm.

- My friend, he gets a little warm.

Oh, man! What is that?

- Get out of here! Is that real?

- Oh, yeah.

ANNA:
They'll love you.

They're fascinated by those who

live on less than $100,000 a year.

JAKE:
All right, I feel ready.

Give me some business terms

so I sound right.

- A BSC deal.

- What's that?

Booze, schmooze and cruise, dude.

How do I look?

- Incredible.

- How are my teeth?

- Let me see... No, you're perfect.

- Thank you.

- Ready, Rabbi?

- No, but let's do it, anyway.

(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS)

Anna, have a shot.

Just got to borrow her for one second.

You think you can talk?

This woman can talk.

- Oh, Len.

- You know you can.

(INAUDIBLE)

Thank you.

That's his problem, he can't drive.

If the guy just went down the middle,

like Sprewell. Same thing.

Excuse me, Rabbi... We need help

with a question of Talmudic precedent.

Excuse me.

Very good! "Talmudic."

Where did you learn that?

Look at the city!

- You think Len was a Ritalin child?

- Still is.

- They love you.

- Only 'cause I bust their balls.

No, they really respect you.

You should be running that company.

- Actually, they want me to.

- What do you mean?

They asked me to run the high-tech

group in San Francisco.

Anna! Are you serious? That's...

I knew it was coming.

Who else was there?

Listen to you! That's incredible!

If you think I had no life before...

I'll disappear.

But this is everything

you've worked for, right?

I'm so proud of you,

I'm so happy for you.

Well, here's the thing, Jake.

I've been thinking about it, and...

I'm excited, but not as excited

as I am about you and me.

And so I don't think I wanna go,

because I wanna be near you,

so I thought I'd transfer and stay here.

What do you think?

Wow!

That's... unexpected.

- It is?

- Yeah.

Are you sure that's the best thing?

For you?

Oh.

I don't know. I thought you'd be excited.

No... No, I am. I'm just...

I'm sorry, I thought...

Am I off-base here?

No, you're not. It was just an impulse.

It's totally fine. Really.

- I thought that we...

- I think that tequila made me giddy.

Shall we go somewhere

and talk about this?

No, no, no.

No, it's so fine. I'm having

a great time. Let's have fun, okay?

No, I don't... Oh...

Whoo! Let's go dance!

(MUSIC PLAYING)

I never had no problems, yeah

Burning down the one-night stands

And everything around me...

(SINGS TRADITIONAL JEWISH SONG)

- Amen.

- Amen.

- Oh, my!

- Psycho, psycho!

I can't laugh, I'm so full.

How'd you stay so skinny

with cooking like this?

He was blessed with my genes.

Ethan, that's another story.

When he was a kid, he was a little chub!

He missed school once

because he couldn't fit his pants.

- You're joking.

- It's true, he had to call in fat.

Mom, he never called in fat, come on.

Give the guy a break, he looks great.

He's working out with a trainer,

he's on a regimen, he looks trim.

He looks trim because she can't cook.

She's a good cook.

You'd know if you tried her food.

I don't wanna talk about this anymore.

Get it?

I'm sorry. Sorry.

What were we talking about?

The meal was so good. Thank you.

- As always.

- Someone has to feed the skinny ones.

Now you guys get the dishes,

and the ladies will talk.

Jake, put on some water for tea.

ANNA:
It's like a fairy tale.

Those flowers framing you.

- That's called a huppah.

- Wow.

Oh, my God.

You look so beautiful together!

Please. We were so young.

We were kids.

I give Jake grief,

but you're all doing it the right way.

It takes at least ten years to know

yourself well and stop being an idiot.

It's hard enough without

binding yourself to another idiot.

What's scary is spending ten years

going after important things,

you get those things, then suspect

you went after the wrong things,

and, in regard to the important things,

you're still an idiot.

Can I ask you a question?

Is my son a good kisser?

- You're in a good mood.

- I'm usually in a good mood.

But you're in a particularly

good mood right now.

Okay. Yes, I am.

I'm in a very good mood.

Okay. Do you want to share anything?

- Not quite yet. Maybe soon.

- Really? Soon?

Okay.

- Well, you let me know.

- Okay, I will.

I'll be looking out for that.

That's what she said...

- I'm so sorry.

- Jesus, what happened?

- Nothing.

- Girl talk. We're fine.

I didn't go into explicit detail.

I can't believe you did that.

It's between us!

Jake, she figured it out on her own.

- Did you try to deny it?

- Come on, Jake, she knew!

No wonder she was crying!

I was crying, too, all right?

We had a nice talk about it.

She was upset, but not angry.

- She put on that face.

- She didn't.

I know, okay? All right? I mean...

You have no idea of the nightmare

I'm in for now.

This is not a nightmare, okay? Stop it.

Hey, look at me.

Look at me.

- I am in love with you, Jake.

- I love you, too.

No. You are in love with me,

you're just scared of what it involves.

- Yes, I am.

- Me, too, but I'm dealing with it.

Because I'm overwhelmed by feelings

for you and I want to work it out.

- Great, how do I work it out?

- Okay.

Let's take it from the top. It's not about

your mother, brother, or synagogue.

Just you. What do you need

to work it out?

Those things are me, understand?

I can't separate them out.

It's hard to accept, but the fact

you're not Jewish is a problem for me.

I don't think so.

Okay, all I'm saying is that

you should be honest with yourself.

I think if it was just up to you,

you'd stick with this relationship,

but it's a problem because you think

other people can't deal with it.

- No, they can't.

- Give them credit, it's the 21 st century.

What does the 21 st century have to

do with anything? This is you and me!

- I thought we were just having fun.

- That's my point, I'm having fun.

I'm having fun, too. This is a lot of fun!

Exactly. So, why throw it away?

Can't you see that you're asking me

to risk losing everything I value,

just to see if we work?

I mean, I love you, but...

We're different in so many ways

unrelated to you not being Jewish.

What are you saying?

We have totally different priorities.

Look at your life.

I don't think there's room in your life

for what I'm spiritually committed to.

That is so unfair.

Your faith is a huge part

of what I love about you.

But you must be patient. It doesn't

come as easily for others as for you.

You will never find the kind

of relationship I know you want,

and you will never be the kind

of spiritual leader you could be

until you learn to put faith

in other people.

I'm not saying we should marry,

all I'm saying

is that I'm in love with you,

and I want to give it a real shot.

I don't know what to say.

How about, "I've always wanted

someone like you, and I won't lose you."

I'm sorry...

You will be when you realize I've gone

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