Kenny Page #9
He was a country singer?
- No, he's not a country singer!
Oh, he's the guy
from Russia. I know.
But all sorts of people,
all sorts of country...
If you stay here long enough...
- You get to see them.
It's a different world, isn't it?
It's a different place.
Look at the size of these ribs!
- It's huge!
No wonder they know what
they're doing with their toilets.
Look at the size of that.
They must give their
toilets a flogging over here.
That's why they're experts in it.
I'm sorry - I just realized
I always talk about...
...working with toilets
and poo and stuff...
...and it's only because
it's what I do.
No, that's fine.
- I'm used to it.
Don't worry.
Don't worry, it's fine.
I mean, I do the same thing,
you know?
What? You don't...
I do the same thing,
but 30,000 feet up in the air.
You have to clean the toilets?
Yeah.
Really?
Yeah, absolutely.
This guy in first class
had gone to the bathroom...
...flushed the toilet...
...put the vacuum - I don't know,
for whatever reason -
...reverse cycled.
He came out
covered head to toe.
Oh, you're kidding.
No.
It's alright.
Hello?
Oh, hello.
I mean, if you can't control him from the
lounge room...
...how am I supposed to do it
from Nashville, Tennessee?
Yeah, well...
Well, pop him on the phone.
G'day, mate.
It's my boy.
How you doing?
I'm good, mate. I'm fantastic.
And a what?
Yeah, well, you might want
to just hold it there, mate...
'cause that's a fair bit.
I don't know
if I'll fit it on the plane.
We'll have to hire
another plane!
Yeah, and behave yourself,
will you?
Don't... Don't upset
your mum too much.
Alright. Love you, mate.
That's me ex-wife
that rung me up.
She's something else.
She is the chief commissioner
and senior sergeant...
...of the fun police.
She's here to outlaw fun altogether.
There's your pad.
Thanks for that.
- Thank you.
Every time, every time
without fail...
...that I'm having a good time,
or I'm enjoying myself...
...or I'm not at work
and I'm just calming down...
...or like I'm here, she rings.
Well, glad you're having
a good time.
I am having a good time.
- Yeah.
Don't say that out loud
'cause she'll ring again.
She knows.
Now, I've got a small confession to
make.
Oh, really?
Yeah, a bit of an apology
or a confession.
I'd never been on an aeroplane
or seen the toilets on them...
...so I wanted to know
how it worked.
So I pulled the lid
off the back of it...
...and I left one of the clips off.
Are you serious?
And I didn't put
the thing back on.
So, sorry.
It's working now, isn't it?
I got it fixed, didn't I?
- Yeah, it's fine, it's fine.
Anyway, let's not...
- Oh, God.
- Yeah, I will.
Before your meal gets warm...
...and I should
before mine gets cold.
Look at the size of this thing.
No wonder there's no longer
dinosaurs on the earth.
They've killed the last one.
Here it is on me plate!
There you go, Jackie.
Watch the gutter there.
Watch your step. You right?
- Oh, thanks, Kenny.
Just watch it there, Jackie.
- Thank you.
Don't slip over. I'd hate that.
- Ooh!
Alright, well,
I'll see you later, then.
Oh, thanks. Hey, listen, do you
want a lift? It's pouring rain.
No, it's fine, I'm only just...
- I'll take you somewhere.
No, I'm only a couple of blocks
from here.
I don't mind walking.
Are you sure?
- Yeah, I love the rain.
I honestly do.
- You're crazy.
I'll see you later.
- Hey, listen.
You know, I've got
tomorrow off...
shop for your son.
Yeah.
- I could show you Nashville.
Alright, well,
I've got a deal for you.
You show me round Nashville...
...and I'll show you
round the expo...
...so you can see
what I do for a job.
OK, that's a good deal.
- Wanna do that?
I'd love to.
- Oh, that'd be great.
Well, we'll meet, say,
9:
30 at the front, yeah?Yep, 9:
30 at the front.- Alright.
OK.
- That's perfect.
Put your belt on. You'll get
yourself in trouble. You right?
She's a nice girl, isn't she?
Looks like I'm gonna have
half a day off!
Which would be good.
Good on her.
Good on her.
You know, it must be
very difficult for Jackie...
...to do a job like she does...
...you know,
flying around in the air...
...in a tube full of strangers...
...lob in countries
with people you don't know.
You know, it sounds very glamorous
but I'm sure it's not.
You know, and even I've found
since I've been over here...
...that you see things that
make about as much sense...
...as a nun at a rock concert,
you know.
And sometimes you just want to turn to
someone from home...
...and say, "Did you understand
what he's talking about?"
I mean, has someone
rung the Queen...
...and let her know what they're doing
with her language?
Ladies and gentlemen...
...put your hands together
for the next bullfighter!
This is the way we do it
in Nashville, Tennessee...
There you go.
- Ooh. Look at this guy.
...show up, drink shots
and have fun.
Hey.
I reckon I know
who that guy is.
Serious. I met him yesterday.
Like, he's not a mate.
I met him.
He's a Japanese businessman.
Go, boy! Hee-hoo!
You would not get me
on that thing...
...for all the money in China.
Or Japan.
20! Whoa! Whoa, there!
Mate, you looked fantastic in there. That
was a pretty big fall.
You looked like
the bloody Sushi Cowboy...
...up there on the bull.
Sushi Cowboy.
- Sushi Cowboy.
It's not that great, man.
Where's all your mates?
Where's all your buddies?
Oh, they're at Hooters,
you know, with the big, big...
Oh, hello. Bing bong.
Yes.
But you guys go ahead, so...
I go back to the hotel.
Oh, there's no need for you
to go back to the hotel, mate.
Don't let a bloody sore leg and
a bad back stand in the way...
...of a good night.
You can stay with us, if
you want. We've got no plans.
What do you want to do?
Give it up for
the Sushi Cowboy!
Hello, Nashville!
Sushi Cowboy!
He's had a pretty big night,
hasn't he?
He sure has.
His bull-riding days are over.
What time do you fly out tomorrow?
3:
30.Oh, OK, so pretty early.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'll get your lift.
Well, thanks
for inviting me out tonight.
I had a ball, Jackie, I real...
Did you?
- I honestly did. I did.
Oh, good. I'm glad you came.
It was fun.
Yeah, so am I. Here's your lift.
- Oh, thanks.
Well, um, do you want to
go up to the bar?
I...
A drink or something?
I'd love to, Jackie,
but I really should...
I mean, the bar's open
for another hour.
Yeah, I would,
but the meter's running...
...and I better get the Sushi Cowboy back
home safe.
He's off with the fairies, so...
- OK.
But, look, tomorrow,
if you're free tomorrow...
I'd love to see you
before you go.
That would be great.
Have a coffee
at the bar at midday?
I'd love that.
That'd be really fun.
- Well, I'll come back tomorrow.
OK.
Yeah? Just watch out.
That lift is gonna snap you like
a twig if it closes on your chest.
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"Kenny" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 23 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kenny_11672>.
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