Kick-ass Page #2

The movie is starting in 10 minutes

It's O.K. We're cool.

We're only gonna miss the trailers.

Yeah, but I wanted to,

get some popcorn.

When we get in there, get Chris some

popcorn.

Okay?

What do you wanna drink, wanna Pepsi?

Yeah, that's fine

Get him a Pepsi

and I'll have an Icee.

Mixed

Like, when they mix the red one and the blue one?

(gun shot in background)

And a pack of Twizzlers.

The comic-books had it wrong.

It didn't take a trauma, or cosmic

rays or a power ring to make a superhero.

...Just the perfect combination of

optimism and naivety.

You are f***ing awesome.

C'mon

Daddy? I'm scared.

C'mon Mindy, honey.

Be a big girl now.

There's nothin' to be afraid of.

Is it gonna hurt bad?

Oh, child. Only for a second, sugar.

A handgun bullet travels at... more than?

So at close range like this, the force is gonna take

you off your feet, for sure.

But it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest.

I hate getting punched in the

chest.

You're gonna be fine, baby doll.

How was that?

Not so bad.

Kinda fun, huh?

Now you know how it feels,

you won't be scared when some junkie

a**hole pulls a Glock.

I wouldn't have been scared anyways.

That's my girl!

Alright. Up you get.

Two more rounds, and then home.

Again?

Uh-huh.

Look, only if we can go by the bowling alley

on the way back.

The bowling alley?

Yep

And icecream after

Hmm

Okay

Two more rounds,

no wincing, no whining and you got yourself a

deal, young lady.

I'm gonna get Hot fudge sundae.

Good call, baby doll!

So you gonna tell a little more about what you might

want

for your birthday?

Can I get a puppy?

Do you want to get a dog?

Yeah. A cuddly fluffy one.

and a Bratz Moviestar Makeover Sasha.

I'm just f***ing with you daddy!

Look.

I'd love a Benchmade model-42 butterfly knife.

Oh child. You always knock me for a loop.

You know what?

We gonna get you two

Two?

One ... ?? Two ... ??

That's what you get.

I'll be honest,

there wasn't a whole lotta crime

fighting in those first few weeks.

But even so, my new vocation kept

me plenty busy.

I called it preparation.

But if you called it fantasizing,

it woulda been hard to argue.

All I knew was I never felt so good about myself.

F***!

Okay, maybe I was still in the beta testing

phase.

But it was a start.

What the f*** are you looking at?

Nothing

Get the f*** out of here

Like every serial killer already knew, eventually

fantasizing just doesnt do it for you anymore.

It was time to engage

What the f***?

What the f*** are you looking at?

I said what the f*** are you looking at?

Two cheapshit losers screwing with a car that

somebody probably worked their ass off to pay for.

Say what?

Leave it be man.

This Motherf***er is obviously high.

I'm not high.

I just think it sucks you guys think you can do

what you want.

Just walk away from the car,

and we can just forget about this.

You crazy, man!

F*** this sh*t!

Sh*t! Get outta here!

I came out just long enough to beg the medics not to tell

anybody about the costume

He promised he wouldn't

All I knew was that my dad was gonna kill me.

Why can't I have a gun?

I am a security guard

You're a doorman, now. You don't get a gun no more.

Look at me. I look like a putz.

You look sharp. Look at all them buttons

Do your job. Open the f***ing door

Have a nice day

Good Morning Frank

Hey Joe. How ya doin'?

Great -

want some coffee? -

Maybe later

Good morning Angie

Chris -

Good Morning Joe -

Frank we got a thing

It's a big thing Frank

OK:

Sorry then

do what you gotta do

Chris, where you think you're going?

I gotta talk to dad.

Christopher

Frank Honey

Where do you think you're going?

I don't mind you talking business. Dad

I was just gonna sit in there quietly. I mean I should probably

start learning and stuff, anyway, right?.

Go finish your oatmeal

Goddamit! I'm gonna be 18 in eight months for

christ sakes.

Take a seat

So, what's the problem?

Our Russian says Tre just sold them

another 5 K's, at half price.

Which Tre? Tre Tre?

Right. Dead Tre.

So now I'm getting f***ed in the

ass by a ghost.

Or Tre was telling the truth.

What so this is my choice? I have to

believe in ghosts or superheroes?

Not the part about the superhero, Franky. Just

that he mighta really been gaffled by somebody.

I think we better invited our

Russian over for a friendly chat.

See what's really going on.

Hey, early birdy

You beat me to it.

I wanted to get you breakfast this morning

Happy birthday, sweetheart

check this out

Oh! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Oh my God

Dad

Wow

Wow, dad

Ok, pop quiz

What's the proper name for one of those?

Isabelle It's... uh... Filippino. Ask me another one.

Excellent, good.

The AR 15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version

of what design?

Eugene 7 AR-10

Give me a hard one.

Name John Woo's first full length feature.

Chi bi xia:
Jue zhan tian xia

Daddy look

Hey, come on, you're not looking

the point is some f***er's killing our guys

If you find out who that is I don't wanna see

any of you b*tches sitting on your asses all right!

What the f*** you...?

Hello

Hey Joe, yeah

No, I was just training right now

one second

Dad... phone.

Dad, the phone's for you

Who is it?

it's Joe

what's the problem? -

Yeah, Frank turns out, man's got the vice here no more.

Really -

aha -

But we do got a brand new industrial microwave they use her for treating the lumber.

So where is it?

I think you must be confusing me with someone who gives a sh*t about the f***ing lumber

Well, you're right, I'm sorry, -

Just get the information -

Alright come on, go ahead

Hey look the guy told me he killed Fernandez

What I know? -

Shut up -

Jesus Fernandez is dead.

Now, shut up

He lied, so...

This works like a regular microwave, or what?

F*** do I know? We're not making a f***ing Hungry Man dinner here, just turn it on!

Here we go

O.K. I want to know who sold you our coke?

And don't tell me somebody

who's dead, this time

I said...

Who

Sold

You

Our... coke?

Sh*t

This is awesome

I look like freakin' Wolverine.

They still have that metal detector

at your school?

Yeah, It's gonna have a meltdown!

Dave, I need to ask you something.

OK:

The police report...

They found you naked. You said you didn't remember why.

The muggers... they didn't...?

What?

No

Jesus! No!

I wasn't even...

In the ambulance, they threw

my clothes away!

Cause of the blood.

Right

Seem like no time at all ...? back on my feet

Dave, What? -

Shhhs.

Apart from the messed up nerve ending.

The doctors had managed to fix me up pretty good.

Did you feel that?

No

You're like f***ing Jason Bourne or

something! That owns!

How about that?

No. Marty,

give it a f***in' rest,

man.

I've only been back, like, half a day and

already youre making fun of me at the hospital.

He's right

I'm sorry

You're acting totally childish

Hey

Dave Hey

Oh, hey

How are you?

You look better

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