Kick-ass Page #6

And there was no one I could talk to about it

Hello

Yeah... I will.

I never felt more alone

I've always dreamed of being a super hero

But this... was a nightmare

It was time to stop wearing this stupid costume

But there was one last thing I needed it for

What's the difference between Spider-Man and Peter Parker?

Spider-Man gets the girl

(Faintly from noise of blowdryer)

Hey-I'm Kick-Ass!

I'm Kick Ass

You e-mailed me.

(Screams)

Please...

(Screams in pain)

Oh... F***!

Oh F***!

F***in' freak in a mask-f***!

Get out of my house

I'm not gonna

hurt you, alright!

No, no, it's me

I was only trying to surprise you

- Dave?!

Sorry -

What the f*** are you doing?!

Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass?

Because I am Kick-Ass.

What are you talking about?

And I'm also not gay.

F***!

And I know I've been an idiot,

and a sh*t friend, I lied to you, I know

Oh my God! -

I know and if it makes you feel any better, I

don't think you could hate me any more right now

I hate myself.

Please I'm...

Look, I'm really really sorry

I've never met anybody who was as

beautiful and as kind,

and... lovely as you.

You deserve better.

Dave

Yes

My mom has the burglar alarm set downstairs.

You should probably use the window.

Or

You could just stay.

stay?

Like when we have a sleepover?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you

We gotta get over the top of it and then into it right in the middle of her.

Daddy, I think I found one.

It's perfect. And they can deliver it in

three days...

And it's three

hundred thousand dollars.

Can you think of anything else

you'd rather spend it on? Oh my Gosh

that is cool!

Yeah.

Add to shopping cart

OK:

Out of Kickass and Red Mist, who do

you think would win in a fight?

Why are they fighting?

That seems stupid

What do you think?

I don't know. But I think Kick-Ass is

cuter.

Really?

I, for one, would definitely f*** his

brains out if I got the chance.

You would?

Definitely.

Do you... uh, feel like checking out

that new Kate Hudson movie where...

she's like a shoe designer kind of guy?

I think we can make the next

showing if we leave...

Hell yeah.

I guess we're not invited

Alright.. you know what, come here

I'm going to request a great meal for you right now

Suddenly, I understood why super heroes only exist in the comics

I doubt why people didn't risk their life for strangers

because, for the first time in my life

I had something to worth living for

Something to lose

Katie was worried about me getting

hurt,

so I promised her my Kick-Ass

days were over.

And the truth was,

I hardly missed it at all.

I hadn't even checked

the web site for, like, a week.

Ok... I'm off then.

No Katie tonight?

Tomorrow. Wednesdays she does one

of her volunteer things.

You seem like a different guy, you

know that?

Your mom would've been so happy to

see you out of your shell like this.

Have a good night

Hey, baby -

Hi, what's going on? -

I gotta do that Kick-Ass thing

What?

I thought you were done with that?

This is the last time. I totally

swear...

I worry about you

I wish you wouldnt worry.

I can't help it. I do. Because I...

I... care about you a lot.

I... care about you a lot, too.

This better be serious, Dude, because

I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this sh*t.

How about both of us being dead?

Is that serious enough for you?

Dead?

How?

Well it turns out those dead guys from the warehouse had some bad motherfuckers for friends

and they think we did that sh*t.

There's a price on our heads, man.

A price on our heads? What is this,

the wild west?

They found out where I lived! They trashed my placed!

I'm f***ing screwed! And you're gonna be next, Okay?!

Sh*t

What do we do?

Remember you mentioned that there were other super heroes

Yeah.

Well, do you think they can help us?

Hot chocolate, extra Marsh-mellows.

Oah. That looks even cooler than in the picture

Child

You know because in the picture

it didn't have Gatling guns

Nice job.

I'm gonna take my new bed, Okay?

Okay, baby doll.

Sleep tight -

Thanks

Oh, Kick-Ass?

Mmh

You go get dressed I'I tell him to meet us at safehouse B

We'll have our hot-chocolate when we get back.

Okay daddy.

C'mon.

Here we go.

Do you know where that is?

No. But I'll just put it in the GPS.

Alright, let's go

Sh*t

Well

Here you are, and Red Mist, too.

Pleasure to meet you.

Good to meet you sir.

Please, come in

After you

Hit Girl, manners.. honey.

Hi, I'm Hit Girl

No!

Hey he's with me, he's O.K.!

Shut the f*** up, kid!

Your daddy's the boss! You don't order sh*t!

Are you shitting me? Sh*t! No!...

He's with me!...

Let him go!...

Get outta here, get the f*** outta here

Hotdamn, I always wanted one of these...

Seriously you're gonna take that?

Yes.

You know what being a super hero actually costs?

You happen to be in a lot of trouble here.

Kick-Ass!-

Get em outta here!-

Kick Ass I'm sorry

Get in there

You better fire this a**hole!

Ignore him.

A Bazooka?

OK:

We had a deal, dad. We had a f***ing deal

that would get you the guy who did it.

All I'm asking is you let Kick-Ass go! He didn't do

anything wrong!

Chris, you gotta look at this from my point of view.

Okay?

I gotta send a public service

message to the people out there

that being a superhero is

bad for your health.

And the big motherf***er? Nobody knows who he is.

Yeah, but that's not fair!

Life's not fair, kid. Get over it.

What are you gonna do with them?

You really want to be a part of my business?

Yeah.

Then sit down, shut up

and watch.

Frank, we're ready

Enjoy the show

You patched-up with this thing?

I sure am big brother.

Watch and learn

Welcome back to breaking news a world wide web broadcast of the

New York superhero who calls himself Kick-Ass.

is about to be shown live. Rumors have it that this will be Kick-Ass'

farewell appearance that he will announce his retirement from crime fighting

but as word-of-mouth continues to spread, internet providers are predicting

that it could be one of the most widely viewed live events in web history.

Hey, where's Dave?

Hey have you guys noticed -

He's with Katie...

obviously.

Why else would I be here?

With no idea as to who is behind the broadcast of this show

But we could see wide spread server crashes

Dave, why didn't you tell this is what you were doing.

You're on the news.

Call me

We go now over live to the countdown clock as we are moments away.

Showtime

Hello boys and girls, now this... uh...

well you know who this guy is.

And... uh... this guy here is Big Daddy

And these are my friends.

Come on in guys say hello

Yeah.

Yeah there they are

Hello, Hello

Now Big Daddy and Kick-Ass

are gonna help us show you why

being a hero is a bad idea.

You know what a silent "K" is?

That's when "K" is at the beginning of the but you don't pronounce it

like in the word knuckle duster

Show them what knuckle duster can do, Guy.

Oh that must've hurt.

Let's see that again on the other side, go.

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