Kick-ass Page #5

(In child-like voice) Mommy, I want

Kick-Ass party. Dumb little f***.

I know a way you could get him.

Aww sh*t. Chris

How long you been there?

What the hell you doin'?

Get the hell out!

You wanna hear it or not?

Hear what?

Okay, look:
you're a superhero and you're lonely but you can't

trust anyone because either they'll expose your secret identity...

Comic books, this kids reads, all

f***ing day long.

The point is, there's only one way a

superhero would trust a stranger and...

I could be that stranger.

You just gotta give me a chance.

I know I can do

it. I just need a few things.

Like what?

I need these things.

What, you f***ing kidding me?

What the hell is this?

It's everything I need.

And you might have to screw somebody over

Like, Louie, or somebody.

Louie?! Oh whoa, hey, Chris

Or somebody, it doesn't have to be Louie.

- Tony

- Tony

Tony?

I hate Tony -

Hey, f*** Tony he's a scum bag -

I swear, dad. If

you let me do this, it's gonna work.

Tony

Tony Romita, one of America's most wanted crime king-pins

was arrested in Queens today.

after a 911 cal from someone claiming to be a superhero

So how are things going with Katie?

Oh, just peachy. Had a sleep over and spent the whole night

watching the entire Ugly Betty box set

and did pedicures.

I'm telling you, though the longer you

wait, the worse it's gonna get.

I know.

I was gonna tell her.

She just seems so happy.

I don't know whens the right time.

Well, now's your chance.

Hey guys

Hi

Oh, did you watch the TV?

The new superhero guy? How cool was that?

What?

Hey look. Can you turn it up please?

Check this out.

But it seems that far from being put-off,

this individual, who calls himself Red Mist,

has decided to take crime fighting to a new level,

as his actions last night proved.

Red Mist, how do you see it?

Well, I guess folks have just had enough of living in

fear, you know, and uh... Kick-Ass really proved that one individual can make a difference.

So, If anyone out there needs help, I'll be fighting

crime 25/8.

And I'm just one click away.

RedMist. org.

Can you turn that off now?

What's so special about that guy?

He caught, like, a drug dealer

Some most-wanted guy

He saw 'em bringing out, like, a ton of stuff,

- That's Pretty cool.

Yeah. way better costume than Kickass, too.

He's gotta cape-

Yeah -

Capes rock-

Yeah -

I'm kinda feelin' the cape. Looks good.

What, better than Kick-Ass?

I mean they're both kinda hot I just think that

Red Mist has a better body.

Don't you think, Dave?

Yeah Dave what do you think? Is that the kind

of guy you'd go for? With all that leather?

No, not me.

No, he's not really my type

Kick Ass

Red Mist

Oh sh*t

F*** me, that kinda hurt.

You OK?

Yeah, no I'm cool

I can't believe you're here, man.

like youre my hero.

You... inspired me. No Kick-Ass, no

Red Mist.

Seriously.

Wow.

Really?

Straight up. And listen if you.. I dunno know...

if you wanted me to be your sidekick or something like that...

You wanna be... my sidekick?

Yeah, man

you and me together, we would own. You wanna go fight some crime?

Oh... I mean like right now?

Yeah man, come on, I got something I wanna show you

Uh.. I mean like... to be honest with you,

I never fight crime between, like

nine and two on weekdays,

so I really

need to get back pretty soon.

Sweet!

This yours?

Meet the Mistmobile.

Set-nav. Got my iPhone so I can check the website

for emergencies while I'm driving around.

Movin' up.

Mood lighting right there

Rear view camera, no big deal.

Check this. You're gonna f***in' love this.

The Mist.

(Cheering)

Hey!-

Yep. That's right. You wish you could be us. They love us.

Smoke?

Nuh-uh.

Ya know.

A little "Weed" takes the edge off things when I'm patrol.. ya know.

Runnin' up against a crowd can

get kinda scary, dont you thimk?

Something wrong?

You're so not how I expected

Oh, I got e-mail from this chick, she said

this guy's been following her home from work.

I've got her address

and stuff. You wanna check it out?

Sure, why not?

Cool

So this chick was totally naked, right?

So I tell her to sit in my lap and talk about the first thing that comes up.

(Chuckling)

Yep.

Let's get the tag? he's on his way.

Very good.

Don't kill him 'til I get there.

Right

Looks like reading all them comics

paid off, huh?

Your boy did good, Frankie.

This is father's son.

(C'mon now... who do you.. who do you.. who do you.. who do you think you are?... ha, ha, ha.. bless your soul)

I forget

(I think your crazy... I think your crazy... I think your crazy... just like you)

What... the... f***?

sh*t

Hey! What are you doing?

There are people in there!

Shall we call the Fire...

Sh*t!

Mike!

Mikey

Sh*t!

Red Mist!

Hey, can you hear me?!

Red Mist!

We've got to get the f*** outta here!

We gotta get the hell out of here!

Just move your f***ing ass!

Sh*t!

Did you see those bodies?

Yeah, man.

Why'd you save the teddy?

What?

I don't know, man. Come on.

come

What the hell are you doin' Frank?

You know I can't be here. What if somebody saw...

That little motherf***er, Kick-Ass, burned down my warehouse and killed my men, Gigante.

Whoa... wait,wait, slow down. Kick-Ass?

You sure? -

You gotta help me, Vic -

My son was there and he's still missing

They're all dead! Everbody in the warehouse is dead!

Put the gun down, Vic, it's

Chris!

Chris is Red Mist?!

It's not Red Mist you gotta worry

about, it's Kickass!

No it's not. Kick-Ass is just some geek!

You don't have to worry about him

You need to watch this!

Why? What does it do?

You're f***ing kidding me

What? -

Goddamit, just sit down -

What are you doing?

What the hell is that thing?

You bought this to spy on the nanny

when I was a kid, don't you remember?

Why? You put it in the warehouse?

Yeah. I thought it'd be cool to put the

unmasking of Kick-Ass on the Internet, okay?

Watch.

"Let's get the tag? he's on his way"

Who the hell is this guy?

I don't know, Dad

But, Kick-Ass told me we're not the only super heroes in town.

Maybe he knows who this guy is.

I want this place locked down.

Nobody comes in, nobody goes out

Not until somebody finds this cocksucker

and blows his f***in' lungs out through his chest.

Listen. They're on to you.

Do you hear me? They're on to you

I thought they were looking for

Kick-Ass?

Not anymore. Gigante just put on a little movie

show for us. Different Superhero.

In a warehouse killing a whole

bunch of D'Amico's guys.

I'm gonna take a wild guess that was you?

- I killed all the cameras.

- Apparently not.

Look bro, you need to get ghost. Hide yourself

quick.

Appreciate it.

Mindy

No more homework, baby doll

It's time

for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye.

X- Men, Fantastic 4

Right now I can't beat the crap out of them.

Everything was out of control

I didn't know what the hell to do

You OK, buddy?

You look tired

Gonna have an early night tonight, maybe?

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