Kick-Ass 2 Page #8

My dad was a decent man.

All he ever did was try

and give me a good life,

and I told him no one would

notice when he was gone.

I love you, pal.

I love you, too, Dad.

You guys came.

We'd love to help you track down

this Chris D'Amico d-bag, but

we just got out on parole.

No, that's fine.

I'm not looking

for revenge.

Last thing I promised my dad was

that I was gonna give this up.

That's exactly

what I'm gonna do.

But you started this.

Now I'm ending it.

Dave, I'm so sorry. Do you

hate me for not helping?

No,not even

a little bit.

You were right.

You gave it up.

If I had, too, my dad

would still be alive.

The only person

I blame is myself.

Let's do this!

Get down!

Mindy!

Spread out!

Keep your head down!

Come on!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Get him!

Get that van over here!

Hurry UP!

Mindy?

Mindy!

Mindy?

You gotta put this on.

I'm not gonna do it.

There's nothing left you can

do to hurt me.

You wanna bet?

Whoa! Whoa!

Game on, cocksuckers!

There's a girl on the roof!

She's still up there!

I think I got her!

Go check!

Get out there!

Come on!

Move your head.

Pull over, pubs-face.

We know Chris D'Amico is The Motherf***er.

Where is he hiding?

Eat a dick.

You're gonna eat yours

if you don't start talking.

Go ahead and shoot me,

you little b*tch.

There's nothing you can do that

would make me talk.

Look, hold on. I can't do this right now.

It's my dad's funeral.

Dave, your father loved you.

Just like my daddy loved me. And

I know it hurts, but maybe,

maybe that's the real meaning

of being a superhero.

Is taking that pain and turning

it into something good.

Something right.

Remember what

you told me?

This is your life.

You've gotta live it.

Now help me find some pliers. I'm

gonna make this guy eat his own dick.

Seriously?

Hello?

Marcus?

Mindy. What's going on?

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

We know where

The Motherf***er's hiding.

He's recruiting an army of supervillains

and making homemade bombs.

Marcus, he wants to

burn the city down.

You promised me.

I know you see me as this little

girl, but I'm not and I never was.

You're right.

Daddy did take

my childhood away,

but I'm not so sure

that was a bad thing.

Marcus, he gave me a gift,

a gift that I can't escape

no matter how hard I try.

And I don't need to spend the

next four years of my life

trying to figure out

who I am

because I already know.

I'm Hit Girl.

I posted the address. Do

you think they'll show?

Chris has an army.

These real life

super dweebs

have been waiting their whole

lives for a call like this.

Are you okay?

What? Yeah, no...

I'm fine.

Here.

Take this.

"Last resort"

really isn't my style.

Dave, this isn't a comic book. Real

people are going to die tonight.

My daddy was prepared

for anything.

Are you?

Yeah.

I am.

They should

be back by now!

It's definitely dead.

Says on the Internet you're supposed

to keep them in fresh water.

It is just hungry.

We must feed it.

Why are you

looking at me?

We gotta

get this sh*t started.

Oh, yeah. Have I got

a show for you b*tches!

Motherf***er,

Motherf***er...

All right,

party people!

We are gonna

kill Kick-Ass,

the very first superhero,

together.

We are gonna cut him up into little

pieces, feed that sh*t to MC Shark

and post it all over YouTube.

For real!

He's kidding, right?

Motherf***er don't kid.

That's not it. I'm gonna give

each and every one of you

party favor

fertilizer bombs!

And we are gonna

get our riot on!

That's what it

means to be evil.

We, my friends,

are the real 1%,

and tonight we are gonna f***

this city up or my name is not...

Chris D'Amico!

That is not my name!

No, you're right. Your

new name's Little B*tch.

Oh, this is perfect.

Are you really

that stupid?

There's two of you

and a whole army of us.

Do you really have

such a hard-on to die?

No.

That's why we

brought our friends.

What's the matter, Chris?

Sh*t hit your shorts?

Yeah, and I'm gonna wipe

my ass with your face.

You're gonna pay for

what you did to my dad.

Your dad? You blew up

my dad with a bazooka.

BAG GUYS; Oh!

Are you ready to die,

little girl?

I might be if I have to keep looking

at that sh*t-stain you call a face.

Chris!

Hold him down. I wanna see

what his guts look like.

That's enough

from you boys!

Nicely done, sweetheart.

That all you got?

No, I got my lethal

zero G device.

Bullshit.

No sh*t.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Thanks.

Ass Kicker.

Nice.

Jesus, you are

such a p*ssy.

What is the point of wearing a mask

if you can't do what you want?

We want to do good.

No, people want

to win the lottery.

People want to f***

Scarlett Johansson.

You think you can kill me

with little needle?

That's not what it's for.

It's called

adrenaline, b*tch.

What was that,

some cheap shot?

That was for

the Colonel.

Ahh!

That's for Night B*tch.

And that's for my dad.

What the hell

are you doing?

Saving your whiny ass!

No!

I won't let you have this.

I'd rather die!

What is wrong with you, dude? This

is not a comic book, it's real life!

When you're dead, it's done.

There's no sequel.

You made this real. You started it!

And I'm gonna finish it.

I'll be immortal,

like an evil Jesus.

Wait!

I'm alive.

Dave, I'm so sorry.

The feeling

was indescribable.

Chris D'Amico, dead.

His wannabe supervillains,

defeated.

But did we make

the world a better place?

Or did we just finish something that

began when I first put on this mask?

The cops are coming.

They'll take

care of the bad guys.

We better skedaddle

before they get here.

We did it.

F***,yeah.

Hey, language.

You're right, if we're gonna dress like

heroes, we should act like heroes.

He'd be proud

of you, Dave.

He'd be proud

of all of us.

You know we can never

do this again, right?

It's over.

One last time.

Come on.

What do you say,

Hit Girl? Are you in?

Why the hell not?

Justice Forever!

Thanks for the ride.

I'll see you at school.

I'm leaving

New York, Dave.

I can't go home. I can't put

Marcus in that position.

Why? He won't arrest you.

You just saved the city.

Yeah, well, I also killed

six guys with a cop's gun.

Vigilantes don't

get a free pass.

You can't go.

People need you.

They've got you now.

Mindy...

I'm not like you.

You don't have to be a bad-ass

to be a superhero, Dave.

You just have to be brave.

What was that?

That was my first kiss.

Be nice or I'll rip your ass

out through your mouth.

DAVE'. When Mindy left,

that's when I finally understood

where my life was going.

Just like it had to

eventually happen,

that real people would

try to be superheroes.

Eventually

it had to end, too.

Superheroes can't exist in

the real world for a reason.

It's because the real

world needs real heroes.

And not some punk in a

wet-suit playing dress-up,

but a genuine bad-ass

who can really kick ass.

Hello?

Please. Don't go.

Don't go.

Is anybody there?

Hello?

Some help, please?

A shark bit my f***ing dick off

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