Kickin It Old Skool Page #6

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You and me in the parking lot,

mano a mano.

You had mono?

Well, I was in a coma.

Justin, you don't have to do this.

Oh, thanks for caring. Not!

Get to steppin', Jen.

Bye, Jen.

Hmph!

- What's up?

- Hey.

Yeah, that's right.

That's right, son.

Hmph!

- Ah, no, no, no!

- De-de-de-de-de!

That's good. That's good.

You're good.

Watch this.

One song.

Crowd picks the winner.

A'ight?

Say it, don't spray it.

- Yeah, man. Yeah.

- Justin! Justin!

Yeah, what you got?

What you got?

This shrimp ain't nothin'.

Oh, yeah. That old trick?

He's great.

Oh, crap.

What am I doin' here?

Mom? Dad? Yogurt? Coma?

Wake up! Wake up!

You just got served, son!

Damn! What the hell

you ruin the cake for?

I fixed it so it looks like my life.

Like a big piece of doody.

- Doesn't it look like doody?

- Mm-mmm.

- We don't want to talk about no doody cake.

- My life is doody cake.

My life is like

one big piece of crap...

that was put in

the freezer forever...

and then thawed out in a hurry.

And now they're both big...

squished soggy pieces of... sh*t!

- Justin!

- Sh*t cake that nobody wants!

- What are you doing?

- What are you doing?

Chill, Justin!

Justin! What the hell are you doin'?

Chill, Justin! This is already

embarrassing enough.

Yeah, your analogy

is tenuous at best.

We're a bunch of losers.

We're a bunch of 30-year-old men...

pretending to be 13 years old

trying to win a dance contest.

Hey, guys...

that's a great way to redeem

our failed and miserable lives.

- Let's enter a dance contest.

- This was your idea!

I was in a coma!

I feel like a retard.

Uh, Justin,

it's not really P.C. to say-

Retarded?

Who's retarded?

It's not nice to say "retarded."

Bye, Orko.

Bye, Jokey Smurf.

Bye, Micro Machines made by Galoob.

What in the hell...

have we gotten ourselves into?

Hey. Watch where

you're goin', egg roll. A'ight?

What? What?

- Huh!

- What the-

What-What about them?

Thing's starting soon.

We gotta sign up.

- Justin's not coming.

- Man, we don't need that stupid white boy.

Who needs him?

Uh, guys, we do.

Crew must have four members.

That was fast.

Anyone want pizza?

Hey, man, hold on.

We're not gonna give up.

Look, all we need

is another break-dancer.

Technically, we need just one more person

who says he's a break-dancer.

Okay. And the fourth

Funky Fresh Boy.

- Name?

- Mad Slick, A.K.A. Dr. Aquafresh...

A.K.A. Big Jennifer Garner...

A.K.A. Tim Russert-

- Okay.

- I'm not finished!

A.K.A. Cream of Wheat,

A.K.A. Half an Onion Bagel...

A.K.A. Carl-Carl-Carl-

That's Carl with a "C," not a "K."

Carl-Carl-Carl!

Carl. Okay. Thanks.

Yeah, way to go.

Funky Fresh Boyz!

Yeah!

This is Get 2 Steppin'!

And here's your host...

Kip Unger!

Yeah!

Come on, people!

Yeah!

Kip! Kip! Kip! Kip! Kip!

- Come on. Let me hear ya!

- Come on!

Kip! Kip! Kip!

Yeah!

You're watchin' Get 2 Steppin'.

I'm your host, Kip Unger.

- Just Kip, Kip-

- Kippin' it real!

Kippin' it real, you betcha.

To my left, spinnin' the stacks of wax...

give it up for D.J. Tanner!

All day, baby.

Today, the best dance crews

in the world...

will compete on this stage

head-to-head.

When they're done,

you all get the final word.

- So, if you like somethin', make some noise.

- Yeah!

All right, let's hit off our first battle

with two randomly selected crews.

Iced Cole Krew versus the Misfitz.

Give it up!

Are you ready?

Misfitz!

Iced Cole Krew!

Get to steppin'!

Yeah!

One, two, three, you're up!

I think we're out

of our league here.

Come on, man. Don't talk like that.

We can do this.

Let's hear it, y'all!

Get to steppin'.

Get to steppin'.

All right.

Next up...

give it up for Wack Attack

versus the Funky Fresh Boyz.

Okay! Yeah!

Funky Fresh Boyz. Wack Attack.

Get to steppin'!

Are you ready, Funky Fresh Boyz?

What's up? Bring it.

Bring it.

Yeah!

You're goin' down'! You're goin' down, low fry.

Ew!

Ew!

Get to steppin'!

Get to steppin'!

Get to steppin'!

- Hey, sweetie!

- Yeah?

- You suck!

- Whoa, what just happened?

Yeah! I don't know.

I told you guys we could do this.

- Throw your hands up. Throw your hands up.

- They like us!

Get to steppin'!

Get to steppin'!

Get to steppin'!

Ah, check me out.

Wow!

All right.

That was great.

Next up, Iced Cole Krew

versus Pink Sushi.

Whoo!

Yeah!

Oh!

All right. Next up,

the Funky Fresh Boyz...

against the Krump Kings.

Funky Fresh Boyz.

Krump Kings.

Get to steppin'!

Yeah!

Whoo!

- You suck!

- What?

Hey, they got medication for that now.

Yeah! That's right!

We got some. We got some.

We got some moves.

Whoa!

- Yeah!

- Yeah!

- So, what do you think, boss?

- What I always think.

It'll be a huge hit

or a massive flop.

How about a huge,

massive, floppy hit?

- What the hell does that mean?

- I don't know.

How did Cole's crew

know to show up at Justin's party?

Shh.

- God!

- Why'd you do it, Kip?

Why'd I do it?

Because I'm not about to

let some man-child in plastic pants...

ruin what I've worked so hard for.

- At least that man-child knows who he is.

- Oh, okay.

So, what, you two are gonna run off to magical

cupcake land and live happily ever after?

On what, your teaching salary?

His- His winnings from dance contests?

Grow up.

What are you doin' to me, girl?

Look, when times get tough...

you just gotta look at your hand...

see how nice this ring is...

and remember what you stand to lose

if you lose me.

What I stand to lose?

- Gag me with a big ego and a little di-

- Don't... go there.

You're a jerk-wad.

Yeah, well, have fun babysitting.

You know, Justin might be

a little kid, Kip...

but he's got more balls

than you'll ever have.

What, like three?

Kip, bust a move.

Oh, hell no.

You and your boyfriend

can take that good b*tch, bad b*tch routine...

and stick it right up your snutzy.

- Snutzy?

- Okay.

Terrified to ask what my snutzy is.

I'll tell ya.

And he's not my boyfriend.

He's probably gonna have security

drag me out of the building in 10 seconds.

What do you guys need?

It's not what.

It's who.

- Why are you smashing Legos?

- These are a lie.

They teach you

that life's all fun...

and you can make anything you want.

But you can't really

make anything you want.

You just get old, boring and fat.

How did you find me?

It's the only bar in town with a B.M.X. bike

parked in front.

Justin, I'm sorry I ran out

the other day.

I'm sorry it's because of Kip.

But if you let

the Funky Fresh Boyz down-

I let 'em down

by draggin' 'em into this!

Winning a break-dancing contest

is a stupid kid's dream!

You have to work to make money,

the way adults do.

Like, in an office.

Like, doin' office things.

Like, making copies...

and... not of your butt.

Justin...

maybe it is a kid's dream.

But I love you because you're a kid.

Everyone I know only cares about

trying to show how adult they are.

Except for you.

And that's the most

beautiful part about you.

And your friends...

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