Kicking & Screaming Page #2

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no, no, no, I...

I need to tell him.

Benchwarmer?

Boy, did that hurt my face.

Sammy?

Yeah?

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Internet dating?

No.

Mail-order bride?

No.

Just kidding.

Look, uh, I got some good news.

I got you put on a new team.

I'm not on the Gladiators

anymore?

No.

You're on the Tigers.

The Tigers?

Yeah.

They're in last place.

Yeah, but you're gonna get

more playing time.

Did Grandpa trade me?

No.

Yes, wait.

I'm happy this is happening.

This is a good thing.

You know, it doesn't seem

like a good thing,

but it's a good thing.

Trust me.

You do not wanna be

the kid

that's on the other end

of the bench.

You do not

want to be that kid.

'Cause I know that kid.

You don't wanna be him.

Okay.

You don't wanna be the kid

who has such suppressed rage

that his heart's about

to burst through his chest.

You don't wanna be the

kid that when he thinks about

what his dad did to him...

I know that kid. I know.

That kid lives right here

in this house!

Mom!

Oh.

Mom!

He doesn't know what to do.

He doesn't...

Ouch!

Phew.

Okay?

Yes. Good.

Coach Benson will be good

for you. He knows his stuff.

I bet you this whole thing

is gonna turn out to be

a blessing in disguise.

Hey, the Tigers

may be in last place,

but those guys

look pretty good.

Dad, those

aren't the Tigers.

They're not even

wearing blue.

The Tigers are

over there.

I'm having a baby.

Oh, I'm having a baby.

No hitting the baby.

No, no, don't hit

my precious baby.

Oh, look, it's gonna come

out! It's gonna come out! Oh!

Cut it out!

Oh, it's gonna come out!

Oh.

Hi, excuse me. Uh,

Coach Benson around?

Yeah, you all know

Phil Weston?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, welcome to the team,

little fellow.

Why don't you go join

those other kids over there?

Yeah, go ahead.

There's a moving truck

in front of Benson's house.

Did you hear? The pressure

of coaching got to him.

He cracked.

How could he crack? We're

only one game into the season.

All right,

Tigers, it's game time.

Oh, but we're waiting

for our coach.

Well, then one of you

will have to coach.

Yeah, but I had talked to Coach

Benson, we're brand new...

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

All right.

Find yourself a coach,

or the Tigers forfeit.

Yes?

Where do I know you from?

I've been your neighbor

for seven years.

No, that ain't it.

No, that's definitely it.

I'll figure it out.

So, who's gonna coach?

We got Mark into soccer, 'cause

we wanted to take a break.

I didn't think I'd be

coaching the little bugger.

I just got laid off.

I'm looking for a job

so it's hard enough

to drag myself out of bed.

So, uh, we forfeit.

So, we're forfeiting?

No, no, no, no. Uh,

you know what,

I... I can coach.

Well, that's swell!

Great!

Just for one game.

Right. It's game time.

Get your team on the field.

Who are we playing?

How about

you use your eyes?

Oh, great.

All right, guys. Everybody

up. Let's go, come on.

Let's go, come on. Lift them.

Lift them. Hey, hey, hey.

What are you doing here?

Where's Benson?

Oh, Benson's a no-show.

I'm gonna coach the Tigers today.

Ooh. You sure

you wanna do that?

How you doing, Buck?

Players take the field.

Good luck, Buck.

Yeah. All right.

Yeah, good luck.

Yeah, you too.

May the best man win?

Oh, he will.

Yeah.

J.T., let's go. Hey,

let's go, everybody. Hey, hey!

Okay. Let's go, guys.

Okay, Tigers, uh, why don't

we have starters take the field?

We don't have starters,

we never got that far.

All right. Well, then, how

about, uh you, you, you?

Yes.

You.

Me?

No, not you.

You, Sam, you, you, you,

and you.

You guys, hit the field.

All right!

Go get them. Huh?

Go get them.

They're

gonna kill us, you know.

I'm sorry,

did you say something?

We're gonna get killed.

Oh, you don't know that

for sure.

Yeah, I do.

And it's gonna be awful.

Charge!

Defense!

Get the ball!

Yeah!

That was fast.

Sorry about the fall, Sam.

See you at the barbecue.

Come on!

Great, great, great.

You wanna go in?

No. I'm fine.

You guys?

No, I'm cool.

I'm staying.

That's the game!

Poetry in motion, Philly!

Bring it on in.

Gather around.

Come on in. Good job.

Powerful kicking.

Powerful kicking.

Uh, excuse me. Just don't

do that with the cup.

All in all, just,

yeah, good.

Good... Good group effort.

Were you watching

the same game?

Yeah.

Really, give yourselves

a pat on the back.

Inspiring speech, Phil.

Hey, Patty.

Hey, darling. How you doing?

Looking great out there.

Yeah, you said it. Yeah.

Tough game today, eh?

We did okay.

Yeah.

All right, look. Now what

do you say I take Sam back,

be on a winning team,

he'll get a trophy,

and who cares

if he's a benchwarmer?

No.

No?

No. No, he's not

going to be a benchwarmer.

Not my son.

Not on your team.

'Cause I'm, uh,

I'm gonna coach the Tigers.

Ooh, ouch.

"Ouch. " Why "ouch"?

Nothing. Nothing.

You really think you

can coach in my league?

Yeah.

Okay.

I'll see you on the field.

Okay. Be forewarned, muchacho.

You're in the show now.

What was that all about?

I'm gonna be the new

permanent coach of the Tigers.

Really?

Yep.

Cool!

Honey, that's great.

Yeah.

Why are you so angry?

No, this... this isn't angry.

This is happy.

Yay. This could be fun.

Yep.

Okay.

Okay,

I got a lot of work to do.

Come on.

Take that for me, buddy.

Hi. Oh, hello.

We didn't get to introduce

ourselves last time. I'm Ann Hogan.

Hi.

Donna Jones.

Hi.

You can call me "Chief. "

Okay. This is my son, Sam.

Hi.

Hey, Sam.

Hi, this is Byong Sun.

Hi, Byong Sun.

Hi, Byong Sun.

Byong Sun and Sam, why don't

you guys go on ahead, okay?

Okay.

All right. Okay, good.

Yeah, Byong Sun's real shy.

This book really helped us deal with it.

Okay. You'll probably

wanna give it a glance.

"My Child is Shy. "

Yeah.

Thank you.

Good.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,

who's your son?

Byong Sun.

Oh, I see.

Actually, I...

You know what, I don't see.

I'm sorry, I...

Oh, wait, now I see. Wow!

Okay.

We're at every game.

Not like a lot

of the other parents.

No, no, no, not like

the other parents at all.

Better! You're better

than the other parents.

Oh, so they're better?

No, no, I mean... I mean, they're...

Well, they're different.

What do you mean

"different"?

No, I... You're different

because you're better.

How are they better?

No, look...

You're both better different

in a different

but better way.

Okay. You know what,

let's get the rest.

A little early to start

playing favorites, Phil.

Okay, guys,

let's take the field.

Get up, Dad.

Nice fall.

Hold up!

Love it, yeah!

Grab a ball!

Here we go. Fan out.

Form a circle here.

Great. Okay, now,

I don't know,

it may just be me,

but, uh, I really got a

feeling like we could catch fire

and have a great season. Huh?

Now, who's with me?

It's electric in the air!

Yeah!

Thank you for that show

of enthusiasm.

Uh, well, I... I thought we would

just start, uh, today by going around,

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