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Kid Cannabis Page #7
Two bathrooms.
Anything you want.
Oh, my god.
How can you afford this,
sweetheart?
Wait, wait, wait.
You know what?
Stop...
I don't wanna know.
No, it's really...
It's fine.
These guys,
these wall street guys,
They hooked me up
with this I.P.O.
And it just...
It just blew up.
And now things are skyrocketing.
I'm cashing in.
Oh, I love you.
I love you too, mom.
Welcome home.
I don't think
my mom really bought
The I.P.O. Story.
Any mom can
Look in your eye
and see the lie.
But it took
my 11-Year-Old bro
To point out what was really up.
You're a drug dealer.
Dealing drugs.
That's what I heard.
Who told you that?
Mm, these guys from school.
I don't do drugs.
I hate drugs.
Really.
Really.
You don't do drugs, do you, kid?
No, I hate 'em.
Good.
Keep it that way, huh?
But like everyone else,
As long as they were
profiting in a fat way,
No one wanted to know
where the bags of cash
The next six months were
All we were doing was
running through the woods,
And we were clearing
a million a week.
And Topher was still
sampling the buds
Every time he went over
for a pickup.
The grefards were supplying
The highest-Quality product
Anyone had ever seen.
We had an apartment
in Spokane that we used
For the dropoffs.
At first it was once a week.
Then every day of the week.
And all of our lifestyles
were taking a serious upgrade.
I finally got a legit eye exam.
With the right prescription,
the world was starting to look
A whole lot better.
I'm not saying where.
But I put a nice chunk
of my profit away
For a rainy day.
My own little 401.
Topher and I even joined a gym.
Got myself a hot trainer
and was well on my way
To losing 50 pounds
Everyone was happy.
Prices were going down.
And quality up.
Everyone wanted
a piece of the pie.
We had the best-Looking
girls in town in pairs.
Girls that wouldn't've
looked in our direction
Now were sucking on
the big bong.
We were working hard
and playing even harder.
And had forgotten
old man grefard's advice
About not flashing your hubris
And candy apples, whatever.
My head was so far up my ass,
National geographic
couldn't've found it.
But then one night,
we got a big wake-Up call.
What is it?
Did you hear that?
What's going on?
Thought I heard something.
F***ing hear anything...
Shut the f*** up.
Okay, do it.
Scuzz! Put out
the f***ing cigarette now!
There's nobody here.
Scuzz, put it out!
All right.
Come on, come on.
What the f*** are you doing?
Whoa.
What the f*** are you doing?
Same as you, bro.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Yeah, that's your first mistake.
I got the franchise for
this part of the world,
You understand?
Give me the bag.
Give me the f***ing bag before
I bust a cap in your ass!
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
I'm giving you the bag.
Relax, bro, relax...
Go go go! Go go go!
F***!
F***in' Asian ass-F*** butler.
I'd recognize that
half-Fag voice anywhere.
Thought our tickets
were punched.
I was scared spitless.
If I was smart,
I would've gave him the weed
And make you deal with
You do that,
butler would've taken the weed
And killed everyone.
Case closed.
the money on the next run.
F*** yeah!
F*** yeah! Hazard pay!
We got f***in' shot at.
Guys, you knew the risks.
F*** man,
we could've been killed.
But you weren't, and it's over.
So money's not gonna
change anything.
F*** yeah it will.
It'll keep you
in business, Nate.
What do you guys
want from me, huh?
What do we want?
What the f...
We just got shot at.
Have you ever been shot at?
No. Have you ever
been shot at?
No.
We just got shot at.
We just got f***ing shot at.
Where were you?
Well, I was on the phone...
Well, I was... F*** you.
You were sitting
On your computer
eating f***ing donuts
While we're doing
all the f***ing work.
F*** that!
Jesus f***ing Christ,
you see what we're f***ing doing for you?
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Are you f***ing high?
No, I'm not.
You just sitting there, smoking bong loads
While we're doing
all the f***ing work?
Come on, man.
All right! Okay!
Okay, all right. Okay.
Jesus. F***.
You'll get your triple pay
just this once, okay?
I mean, I'm not gonna
be making anything,
But that's okay.
I want you guys to be happy.
I want you guys to be safe.
You're not just my employees.
You're my best friends.
I love you guys.
So, yeah.
This time I'll do it.
Okay?
We cool?
Just find another route, please?
Be safe?
We're gonna be glocked
and cocked from now on.
I did give them
triple pay for that run.
And they all showed up
for my birthday bash.
Taking full advantage
of my hospitality.
Looking back,
I probably should've
Reined things in earlier.
But how do you keep
kids like this...
Santa's broken toys
from broken homes
From celebrating their success?
While we were celebrating
peace and prosperity,
Oxycontin-Fueled jealousy
was lurking around the corner.
Little f***in'
wannabe-Me's!
Think you can do what I do?
I'll show you what I do.
Dude, you're just gonna shoot
some random f***ing geeks
Like that?
Cool.
Hey, mom.
How're you doing?
Good party? Yeah.
Better in 30 seconds.
It was pretty cool
being able to bring
Two fine and flexible girls
whose name I didn't know
Back to my bedroom.
Oh, come on.
I think mom got
a kick out of it.
A year ago,
I couldn't approach a girl
If she was naked
and calling my name
With a 40-Ouncer
in each hand.
Into thinking
I was getting babes
Because of my looks
or my thumb size
And curved dick.
I'd like to think
they would've come back
For seconds even if I went back
To delivering pizzas.
I'd like to think that,
but I was stoned
And delusional, to be honest.
Hot chicks are starfuckers
in Coeur d'Alene.
And I was a star.
Here come the fireworks!
Huh?
I own this place!
F***in' swimmin'...
Okay.
Maybe he wasn't
trying to hit anyone,
But Brendan butler
coming over to my house
Busting caps where my mom
and little bro live?
You don't pull
that kind of sh*t.
Hey! Hey! What the f***
are you doing here?
What the f*** are you doing?
Sh*t!
You're f***in dead,
you f***ing cocksucker!
My family's here!
My f***ing family's here!
Thank god everyone was
You guys all right?
Brendan butler's
a f***ing dead man.
These are some guys I went
to school with in Cali.
They're rock hard.
Solid as f***.
Guys, this is Brendan.
No names.
Justin.
Chicken head
skinny motherf***er.
These are them.
Which one is it?
Uh...
the fat dude with the glasses.
What's this?
It's for expenses.
The bullets.
Two, three, whatever... No no no.
This is supposed to be 50k each.
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"Kid Cannabis" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/kid_cannabis_11729>.
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