Killer Movie Page #4

I made a mistake.

But yeah, I mean,

we're pretty close.

I'd say "high maintenance,"

in a really good way.

She's charming, she's funny,

she works the room.

You know, she's the master

at the grand entrance.

I can't even begin

to believe this.

# you spin around #

# around yeah yeah #

# around around #

# around around around #

# love's a boomerang #

# it's a boomerang #

# yeah love's a boomerang #

# a boom boom boomerang #

# a boomerang #

# yeah it's a boomerang #

# love's a boomerang #

# a boom boom boomerang # #

Okay, I--I'll be right back.

Okay.

Hi, Blanca.

Hi, Scooby!

Hi.

Hi.

Um,

What the hell

are you wearing?

I was told

to dress sexy.

By who?

Seaton?

You look like Punky Brewster

with hypothermia.

It's being handled,

right, sweetheart?

Handled.

Miss Champion,

I am so excited to meet you.

I--I--

I am your biggest fan.

Um, you are

a personal hero to me.

Do you think

you can sign this, please?

Sure, sweetie.

Um, I know it's

none of my business,

but you two

were so close.

Uh, why were

you fighting?

Because she's a c*nt.

Okay.

Uh, excuse us

for a second.

We're just gonna--

I'm a big fan too.

Yeah?

- Yeah.

Have a little, uh,

talk, shall we?

Okay!

- Easy, Scooby.

You're turning me on.

Yeah, please

don't call me Scooby.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hey, buddy.

Um, would you mind

excusing us for a second?

Hey, sexy.

I like the way

those shorts

cup your little ass.

It's delicious.

Blanca.

Do you

even remember me?

I'm sorry, are we

in the boys locker room?

It stinks in here.

Bleh!

Yeah, no, I know this isn't,

uh, exactly ideal,

but i hear if we make it

through the next few weeks

on our best behavior,

we're gonna score

big bonus points

with the studio.

Ooh, what's

best behavior?

Well, it's probably, uh,

not using the "c" word

In front

of small-town cheerleaders.

Oh, God.

They're dealing with some

heavy sh*t around here.

A local girl recently

got killed in an accident,

so the people

are pretty shook up.

All right, whatever.

Okay, you know what?

I get it.

Don't worry, Jake.

I remember how nice

you used to be to me.

People don't really

tell me how it is these days.

And I'm serious about

this movie research stuff, okay?

I'm sick of playing

dopey teenagers.

I have to nail this.

We're cool.

All right.

Oh, hey, and, um,

it's kind of--

kind of cold in here.

So you may want to rethink

the whole mini-skirt thing.

F*** off.

- Okay, nice. Very nice.

Jaynie Hansen's death, um--

You know, where I'm from,

you get a cut, a scrape,

A broken leg

is considered an accident.

What happened to her,

I don't think that

was an accident.

Jaynie's dad has always

scared the hell out of me,

to be honest.

# everybody loves you that way #

# everybody loves you that way #

Where are we even

going, anyways?

And I can't believe

this is the crew Van.

So lame.

It's the only

thing we'd all fit in.

Besides,

it's a low-budget show.

The school let us

use this for free.

Look, guys, if this is what

the kids were talking about,

then this is the story

to follow.

Everyone we've talked to

has brought up this Hansen guy.

Jake's right.

I mean this town's more

interested in this girl's death

than anything else.

Does anyone know

how long

this guy's been

out of prison?

Less than a month.

It's a big deal around here.

I saw a picture of Hansen's

dead wife at the school.

Very pretty.

Oh, lucky us.

A predator round-up.

Is that what they do for fun

here in cat piss,

North Dakota?

Hey, do I need

to remind you

that I'm on

a 10-hour schedule,

and I don't do overtime?

Okay.

Thanks, Mike.

Nice watch,

by the way.

Hey, dude, why don't you

sell that thing

so you don't have

to live in your trailer?

I like living in my camper.

Is that okay with you?

Whatever, loser.

Nik, do you have any idea

where this cabin is?

Erin said we can't miss it.

Should be just

off the lake.

# everybody loves you that way #

# everybody loves you

that way # #

Hansen was

supposedly devastated,

but Carhartt testified

that he saw Hansen

and his wife

fighting in the school parking

lot hours before her death.

That got him sent away,

and left

the coaching job open,

which went to Carhartt.

Hansen's lawyer found

some evidence

that got him released

on an appeal.

But, as you can imagine,

after ten years

in a North Dakota jail,

still pretty angry.

Hello?

Coach Hansen?

Ooh, I guess the pretty wife

kind of settled.

Hi, um,

my name's Jake Tanner.

And, um, we're in town

shooting a show--

I know

what you're up to.

Wash my thoroughly

from my inequity

and cleanse me from my sin.

Against thee, the only,

have I sinned and done

that which is evil

in thy sight.

This guy is f***ing

scary as sh*t.

I'm just gonna

put this microphone on you

right here, okay?

Get the hell out of here.

I didn't invite you here.

This is private property.

I said get the hell out!

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Sorry.

All of you.

We didn't mean

to bother you.

We don't want

any trouble.

What about

my microphone?

I'm billing production.

That reality TV crew

should have been

following me around,

you know?

While they were

out talking

to Jaynie Hansen's

crazy dad,

I was finding

the cheerleading coach's body

all mangled

in the wood shop.

Now that would have made for

some great television, you know?

I took some footage

with my camera phone

if you guys

want to buy it though.

I don't give a f***

who she is, her agent--

Wait a minute, that a**hole

is your agent too, isn't he?

Yeah, well,

he made me pay her as a P.A.

while she does

her research.

So guess

what that means?

She needs to work

like a f***ing P.A.,

so this is how it's going

to go.

As long as she

is on my payroll--

remember this--

will do.

I wanna know

when she naps

where she naps,

and how long she naps.

You're gonna write it down

and deduct it from her paycheck.

Got it?

Lee, why don't you

give her a break?

She traveled all night.

That's just great, Jake.

What do you want to do,

give her a f***ing bottle,

and change

her diapers too?

Blanca Champion...

All you can think

to yourself is

"why can't this girl

just get her hands

on some decent conditioner?"

Just wash it.

I don't get it.

Can you explain it?

I didn't really know

what to expect,

uh, with Lee.

She's--she's--

she's a b*tch.

She's a super-b*tch,

actually.

Um, we're all trying

to kind of deal with her,

because she's our boss.

But, um, yeah,

there's no other word for Lee.

Lee doesn't really

get along with anyone

who isn't Lee.

Mister?

Hey, what's up, buddy?

I heard what Vance

said to you before.

He's right.

Mike, I think--

I think we're good.

Just doing my job, man.

It wasn't an accident.

Okay, I'm listening.

Jaynie used to take me

cross-country skiing there

all the time.

She knew that place.

I heard something

when I was leaving that night.

But I didn't

do nothing.

You know

what I think?

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