Kingdom of Us Page #3

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I need you to pay rent?

Yes.

- Will you?

- Yes.

Because you don't.

You're quick to attack me.

I'm not attacking you.

I want to help you.

It's not doing any of you

any good living like this.

It feels like a parallel universe,

before he died.

This sounds pathetic,

but we didn't have furniture.

And the walls were all the same color.

He didn't like clutter

and he didn't like

things being in the house.

So he boxed everything up

and put them in containers.

It was all kind of sentimental.

The containers have gone.

Big empty space.

Oh, my God. Looks about...

Looks really weird, you know.

Feels weird.

Dad, can you tell us how you feel?

Dad, tell us how you feel.

I feel you have to accept things

like this... Um...

And it's time to move to a different

chapter and get the barns organized.

Very, very well said.

There's the barns.

When he died,

all the boxes got dropped off here again.

I am now gonna ask

three of my sisters

to perform a show.

They are each gonna do something

different, but it is gonna be funny.

Please welcome, Mirie Shanks.

She's going to do

her famous dancing.

I have an idea that we can maybe

promote everything that you do

on my YouTube channel.

In that case, you can make

a piece of clothing and I can wear it.

I said to Nikita and Pippa,

maybe all three of us could find a tune...

There's a song that

all three of us have written.

And I'm really bad at writing, so...

'Cause I'd be just be thinking

of the song. I wouldn't be writing.

Your father used to write, um...

He used to play the guitar...

and find something

he liked the sound of, musically.

And then write words to it

and then do a bit more.

So he would sort of piece them together

as he went along.

I'm not very good at writing.

I just always say the same thing.

So that's why I asked Nikita

and Pippa to help me.

There's power in being together.

This is why I keep telling you

to develop an act as a group.

I'd rather be by myself.

Be on my own and then do, maybe,

a few great pieces to put on it.

Okay. I just think you've all got more...

a greater chance of success together.

So you don't think we could all make it

on our own?

No, I think you can all make it

on your own.

I think it would be 100 times easier

if you made it as a group first.

- Say Cuckoo

- Cuckoo

Cuckoo

- Regretfully they tell us

- Cuckoo

- But firmly they compel us

- Cuckoo

- To say goodbye...

- Cuckoo

To you

You know how Dad used to always play

a song every morning at six o'clock?

Please, no one say,

"You shouldn't feel like that, Pippa."

But I feel stupid now

because I didn't know that.

No, no, no, no, no. It's okay.

You've heard of Stevie Wonder.

You've heard us play it, haven't you?

For your love

I would do anything

Just to see the smile upon your face

For your love

I would go anywhere

Just you tell me

And I'll be right there

Okay, Pippa looks like

she's about to cry so I'm just gonna...

- No, I'm okay.

- No, I love this song. I love it.

Pippa, think about the positives.

Jamie, I can't. It's not just...

My Internet's gone.

But I've got it on my phone.

It's like, it's certain music and films,

Jamie, bring back bad memories.

And, you know, that's okay.

Okay, ready?

Losing my dad

completely broke my heart.

He was my best friend and my worst enemy,

all at the same time.

He was funny.

He always used to make my mum laugh.

He was caring, but there were days where

the sun could be shining

and there wouldn't be a cloud in the sky,

but it just felt like the gloomiest,

saddest, most tense-filled day.

Dad, smile.

He... he was a scary person.

There's Daddy.

But he was nice as well.

I don't know. He was weird.

He was hard to understand.

When he was in a bad mood,

he just wouldn't talk,

and he'd go write in his diary.

I mean, I haven't read it in much detail.

I haven't even read his suicide note,

but I'd like to.

It was always getting in the car

after school,

and being like, "Mum,

is Dad in a good mood or a bad mood?"

'Cause that meant when we got home...

that he'd sit us all down

and give us a rant for about four hours.

I'd end up falling asleep on the floor

and then going to bed

at 1:
00 in the morning.

Please give me that. Sorry, Lorie.

I'm trying to talk on camera to you all

so that...

I wanted what I wanted to say

to you to be on camera, on tape,

so you'll know in the future how I was

thinking and feeling about everything.

You've got to work out

how to run your life...

so that I can do what I've got to do.

Jamie is at the most impressionable age

that she's been at

since she has been alive.

I'd like two people

to be the most influential,

and I want it to be me and Mummy.

I don't want it to be other people

who I don't know,

and I don't know what they're saying

and I don't know

how they're making Jamie think.

My dad use to have a tendency

to, um, keep me up late.

And then obviously,

when it reached a point

that I used to stay up late

in order to be able to hear him.

Sort of hear whether or not

he was in the house,

whether he was back

or whether he was gonna come upstairs...

and have a go at me

for some unknown, bizarre reason.

There was a lot of occasions

that I would be...

forced to look in the mirror

that used to hang 'round the corner.

And he would hold my face.

And he'd tell me

that I looked like a crack whore.

I genuinely hate the sight of myself

when I have no makeup on.

Euro money?

"I would like to take you to France

at the end of July.

Happy birthday. Love, Dad.

I have booked us a week's holiday

in France."

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Dad!

I'm going to France. I'm going to France.

- Dad...

- I'm going to France!

If I'm honest, I was absolutely petrified.

We were driving this one night in

the middle of the countryside in France,

and I mean the middle of nowhere.

All of a sudden, my dad stopped the car

down this pitch black country lane.

Suddenly, in that moment, I was like,

"Oh, my God. What is about to happen?"

And he said, "Get out of the car."

And he walked me

about 20 yards down the road.

And just all of a sudden...

he just said, "Look up."

I've never seen so many stars

in all my life.

It was like somebody had just

thrown glitter across the sky.

My dad got us to lay down

on the middle of this road...

and we lay there

and just looked up at all these stars.

Just that 10 to 15 minutes that I got

where we were like a father and daughter.

Because of the way Dad was,

we weren't very exposed.

I think he wanted us all to be perfect

and he thought

if weren't, you know, "out in the wild,"

if you like,

then we could become that way.

Nikita, are you gonna get in?

We were all going to grow up anyway.

So he couldn't have kept us

that way forever.

I think he realized that.

You know,

these are old cassette tapes,

but I don't know what's on them all,

so are you sure

you all want to watch this?

- Yeah.

- You sure?

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