Kingdom of Us Page #7

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when people leave school.

Mmm.

Sh*t gets real after school, doesn't it?

Remember when we used to

pretend that we were super stars?

Yeah.

We always had big dreams,

and now that we're older,

it feels like, "Oh, it's hard."

You can't just snap your fingers

and everything just happens.

You've gotta proper work for it.

- And, like, doubting yourself.

- Yeah.

- Do you get that?

- Yeah.

When I was young

I dealt in fantasy and dreams

The grass was greener where I stood

If I tried to fly, I could

With magic

Magic children have within their souls

Yeah, I want the whole top

from sleeve to sleeve.

It's tragic

The logic we apply when we get old

I used to fly away

Fly away, fly away

Fly away, fly away...

Can I hang it up in here?

Yeah. Are you not gonna get dressed?

I've always wanted to be

a fashion designer.

I know that's over ambitious.

I always think about having my own show...

constantly,

especially when I'm going to sleep.

And when I wake up...

I think of my own show,

and I'm like, "Ah..."

But then again, someone has to be

the next Vivienne Westwood,

so why can't I be

the next Vivienne Westwood?

It's worth a try.

"Ed equals swag," apparently.

What is this swag

that they speak of?

- You got a girlfriend?

- Yeah. Her name's Sarah.

- How did you meet her?

- Through the autism group.

Well, before I met her, I thought

she was gonna be really weird.

And then when I met her,

I was quite surprised.

'Cause she was weird,

but not, like, a weird sort of weird.

She was just different, but it was good.

Have you fallen in love?

What a weird question.

Yeah, I guess so.

I think love for another person, though,

is the weirdest

because you have moments

where you want to hug them,

but then you have moments

when you want to have sex with them,

and I find that really unusual.

I think it's also hard for me,

because of my autism,

to know what I'm actually feeling.

Yeah. Exactly.

'Cause I've had a tendency

to mistake emotions for each other.

I can't say to you, "Yes, you're in love."

I know you're besotted,

but whether you're in love with Sarah

is another matter.

'Cause the way I see it is,

I don't think I'd ever find someone

who's better suited for me.

Not at the moment, but you're only 16.

- It's another level.

- Have you ever been in love, then?

Yeah, I was in love with Daddy.

How long did that last for?

Well, did you ever, sort of...

fall out of it?

I suppose our relationship went

from being in love

to being more of a companion relationship.

So I still loved him, but it was becoming

impossible to live with him.

Dreaming, dreaming

Dreaming of the way we used to be

- You look wonderful.

- Thank you.

You look absolutely wonderful.

Vikie, you're ever so photogenic,

aren't you?

- Am I?

- Oh, yeah.

You always look good on camera. Always.

Pippa! Pippa, there.

You are a very beautiful woman.

We could reminisce forevermore

We have invested

a considerable amount of time and money.

- Was that Daddy?

- Yeah, I think so.

Hi, Vikie. It's Paul.

Vikie, it's Paul.

I'd like to speak to you.

World

You keep spinning around

Giving us life without making a sound

Eight years today since he died.

That's sad.

I think people don't understand that.

It's been eight years,

but we've only had to...

like, relive this day eight times

since it happened.

Which isn't many, really.

It always feels like

it happened yesterday.

But he feels like

he's getting further away.

But the day feels...

The day was always yesterday.

When we went to Minehead Beach...

the last time

we'd go on holiday with him...

we made this sandcastle.

I loved the castle at beach today.

And then Dad was like,

"Let's take photos! Let's take photos!"

Excuse me, everybody.

Excuse me, but if we could just...

If you could just...

- We could all get in.

- It was really lovely...

At least two of us stand here...

...'cause he was different

on holiday.

He was nothing but fun.

Dad, why are you recording?

Because this will never

happen again and I'm recording...

Smile, guys, you're on camera!

You're disowned. I disown you.

I've only just started.

I disown you.

I think it's sad

that he's missed so much.

Mmm...

- Pip! I found the contract!

- F***in'... No!

- I found the contract!

- No!

"This deal was made

when Pippa wanted some Hubba Bubba."

- Signed...

- Signed Pippa-Peita...

I spelt it... Do you know

why I spelt it wrong, Nik?

- Why?

- 'Cause then I thought

if it ever went to court,

- they couldn't use it.

- Are you serious?

They couldn't do me for it

'cause I'd signed it wrong.

This is brilliant. I love this.

Oh, things I do 'cause of my autism.

"I get upset over little things.

I repeat myself."

I repeat myself.

I repeat myself. I don't... I'm joking.

"I know you left for a reason."

- No, it's about Dad. It's about Dad.

- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

"When the rain touches my face,

it's like you're touching me, too.

My heart beats with a race,

like I'm here right next to you.

I used to think you'd come back,

but that was only in my dreams.

Now all those years of waiting,

you never returned back from the stream."

Oh, sh*t.

Sad, isn't it?

And you weren't listening to me

and laughing about something else.

I hope you feel bad.

- What?

- Hug me.

- Ew, why?

- I wanna hug you. Please.

- I love you.

- I love you.

Remember when you'd watch us grow

And we'd perform our show

F***.

What did Dad used to always...

Like, what did he always used to say?

"One day we'll all fly away to paradise."

No, just "fly away to paradise."

The chorus should be

something like... Daily reminiscing?

Yeah.

How do you spell "reminiscing"?

R-E...

- You're guessing, aren't you?

- Yeah.

Well, do you think there...

She'll reach a point where she thinks

she has made a mistake?

- I think...

- How long has it been?

- Since we haven't spoken?

- Mmm.

Two days.

I think it needs a bit longer than that.

Yeah, I know that.

But what I'm saying is...

- Mum, seriously. Mum, listen.

- I know.

I think seven months is too long

to not give it another try.

And if tonight she came over

or messaged me,

and said she wanted another chance,

I'd probably say yes.

- At this point.

- Mmm-hmm.

Because you don't want

the relationship to die or...

It's about what you want.

You can't control what other people do.

Wish we could turn back time

To the good old days

When our momma sang us to sleep

But now we're stressed out

How is being 15, Pippa?

Like, the sugarcoated answer

or, like, the brutally honest?

- The brutally honest answer.

- Absolutely sh*t.

Got a lot of...

Bit of stuff going on and it's just...

Don't know.

Right now, all I want to do

is spend time with my family.

And laugh and smile,

just like everyone else.

But I can't

because there's something swallowing me.

It's like your chest is a black hole

and it's just...

Your body is just melting into it.

You think about all the things

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