Kiss Me Kate Page #5

- I am. Careful.

- Miss Vanessi, the show must go on.

Yeah. There's no business

like show business.

We got a financial interest in the

success of this opus, Miss Vanessi.

Therefore, we would like you to finish

the show till the end of the week...

...when Mr. Graham can pay

off his debt of honor.

Honor? He doesn't even know

the meaning of the word.

- Beautiful, isn't it?

- Yeah.

Her costume for the wedding scene.

We'd like to see you model this.

I'm sorry. My understudy

will be wear...

- We think it would look better on you.

- Especially with your coloring.

Are you threatening me?

No, I'm just transferring the weight

from this side over to this side.

Yeah, the bullets get kind of heavy.

Shall we just step behind the screen

and try it on?

- Fred?

- We'd be glad to help you zip it up, baby.

Fred? Fred, don't just stand there.

Do something, do something!

Gentlemen, this is an outrage.

Come, my bonny Kate.

I said come!

Fred, look.

I see puzzlement upon thy good faces.

Who are these two angelic sprites

who bear my lady's train?

They are distant relatives from Pisa.

- What's a sprite?

- Some kind of fairy.

Oh, yeah.

Obey the bride, you that attend her.

Go to the feast and revel and domineer.

Leave us not lose our heads, buddy.

Carouse full-measure. Be mad, be merry,

or go hang yourselves.

But for my bonny Kate...

She must with me.

I will be master of what is mine own.

She is my goods, my chattels,

my horse, my ox...

...my anything.

Touch her, whoever dares. I'll bring

mine action on the proudest he...

...that dares to stop my way in Padua.

Bring forth my noble steed.

Come, Kate, most patient,

sweet and virtuous of wives.

Thou must not soil thy dainty feet.

Thou shall ride and I

will walk beside thee.

You louse! You know I can't sit down.

She resists! Then I shall cart her

to the nuptial chamber...

...like a sack of flour going to the mill.

Gentlemen, forward.

- Bye.

- Goodbye!

Hey, look! Come here. Hey!

Watch it, lady!

Come on, get up. Lady!

Get back on. That's it. There.

What? No men at my door to hold

my stirrup or to take my horse?

Where be these knaves?

- Where is Nathaniel?

- Here, sir.

- Gregory!

- Here, sir.

You loggerheaded and unpolished grooms.

What, no attendance?

No regard? No duty?

Kind strangers, thou angels in disguise...

...who didst help me in my hour of need.

It were well you rested

from your travels in yon chamber.

Get ye hence. Go to. Go to.

- To flee or not to flee, that is the question.

- We wouldst not thinkst of leaving thou.

Yeah. Going away is such sweet sorrow.

Food, food, food!

Sit down, Kate.

Thou knowest full well that I cannot.

Well, then, stand and be merry.

Some water here.

Will you give thanks,

sweet Kate, or else shall I?

- What's this? Mutton?

- Aye.

- Who brought it?

- I.

'Tis burnt.

And so is all the meat.

What dogs are these?

Where is the rascal cook?

How durst you villains bring it from

the dresser and serve it thus to me...

...that love it not?

Here, take it away,

trencher, cups and all!

Gin.

I pray you, husband, be not so disquiet.

The meat was well,

if you were so contented.

I tell thee, Kate, 'twas burnt

and dried away...

...and I expressly am forbid to touch it,

for it engenders choler, planteth anger...

...and better it were

that both of us did fast.

Since of ourselves, ourselves are choleric,

then feed it with such over-roasted flesh.

Did you marry me to famish me?

Tomorrow shall we eat, my honey love,

when we return unto thy father's house.

Oh, no, you don't!

Come. I will bring thee

to thy bridal chamber.

- You louse!

- Attend thy mistress.

Thus have I politicly begun my reign

and 'tis my hope to end it successfully.

My falcon now is sharp

and passing empty...

...and till she stoop,

she must not be full-gorged.

She eat no meat today,

nor none shall eat.

Last night, she slept not,

nor tonight she shall not.

As with the meat, some undeserved fault

I'll find about the making of the bed...

...and here I'll fling the pillow,

there the bolster...

...this way the coverlet and

another way the sheets. Aye!

And amid this hurly, I intend...

...that all is done

in reverent care of her.

This is a way to kill a wife

with kindness.

And thus I'll curb her mad

and headstrong humor.

He that knows better how to

tame a shrew, now let him speak.

'Tis charity to show.

Kate?

My bonny Kate.

My winsome Kate!

I' faith, the woman shot her bolt.

She has performed while I did act the dolt.

There's a madman outside with an

ambulance. Insists on seeing you.

Sorry. So does my audience.

Where's my little girl? Where's Lilli?

Please. There's a show on.

He'll be right with you.

Keep an eye on her.

You ought to be tarred and feathered!

- Get Jeanie ready.

- Where I come from...

...a man don't strike a woman.

- She hit me first.

That's a lie. Why, that

little girl wouldn't hurt a fly.

If you'd care to step over here,

you'll see the little girl in action.

- What's she doing on that loading chute?

- Winding up.

But I don't get it. How come...?

How come she asked me

to bring an ambulance?

My dear Tex...

...you don't understand

the artistic temperament.

You've been spending too much time

with your cows.

She may even say to you tonight:

"Darling, I'm playing the show

under duress. Call the FBI."

- A very efficient organization.

- Yeah. We know them personally.

- Why would she want the FBI?

- Why would she want an ambulance?

All right, drop Scene 3.

Jimmy. Three.

Come on, kids, let's go.

You're on. Come on.

Oh, Tex, thank heavens you're here.

- Quick, call the FBI.

- The FBI?

Now, look, honey. I don't mind bringing

an ambulance and a stretcher...

...but Mr. Hoover's a pretty busy man.

- But you don't understand!

- These thugs are threatening me!

- What thugs?

These two. They're making me play

at the point of a gun.

I thought they were actors.

They're gangsters, I tell you.

They won't let me leave the theater.

Are you referring to two of the most

promising graduates of the Abbey Players?

Not to mention Civic Repertory,

the Theater Guild and others.

And he's in cahoots with them!

- They sure look like actors.

- They're not actors, I tell you.

Lilli, you ought to be ashamed.

Dragging this poor boy away from

the stockyards just for a whim!

- Whim? Whim?! I'll show him my bruises!

- You can't. You're not married yet.

We will be, as soon as we get back

to Texas. Everything is all set.

- Our plane is ready to go.

- Tex, angel, I keep telling you...

...I cannot get out of the theater!

- Why not?

Those two apes won't let me.

Of course she can leave the theater.

Can't she, boys?

Well, yeah, she wouldst, but she can'tst.

All right. Go ahead,

if that's what you want.

After all, what's in the theater

to hold you?

It's all so tawdry, the dreary

business of creating a part.

Meaningless applause...

...silly pictures in the papers.

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