Knife Fight Page #10

Good.

Where's the big guy?

You got me.

What's he doing,

hiking the Appalachian Trail?

Yeah, something like that.

We're talking about the most

electronically connected dude

on the planet.

Where the hell is he?

I have no idea.

Hi, I'm so sorry

for calling you so many times,

and I know you're really busy

and I called you yesterday.

It's fine, really.

Um, you haven't heard

from him yet, have you?

I haven't, but if I do,

I'll call you or text you.

Are you okay?

Just a little worried.

Okay, well, I'll let you know

if I do.

Okay, bye.

I think you need a shot.

That's my line.

This is what

you're up against:

Trip Simmons:

Internet tycoon

who, after two grueling

months teaching,

is running as

a public school teacher,

albeit a public school teacher

willing to spend $45 million,

95% of which is his own money.

Serious stuff.

If you happen to get past him

in the primary,

and that is a gigantic "if,"

this is who you will face:

Hammering Hank Harrison,

beloved television star

and Tea Party hero,

who is running as the outsider

in this race

in spite of having $65 million

already in the bank

and off-the-charts

name recognition.

And what do we have?

You.

[Chuckles]

I'm flattered.

But anything else?

Us.

Are you sure

you're up for this?

No more Appalachian Trail

walkabouts?

You know, I actually was on

the Appalachian Trail in Maine.

Well, welcome home.

So Jimmy is gonna

be following you around 24/7.

He's gonna be filming you.

We'll cut together some spots

about who you are,

what you're about,

your commitment to service,

your dedication to this office,

that kind of thing.

And people are gonna want

to see this?

We can only hope.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

In the words

of the great Hubert Humphrey,

"I am proud to be here today

to represent the people

who don't always have a voice,"

those in the dawn of life:

Our children,

those in the shadows of life:

Our poor,

and those in the dusk of life:

Our elderly.

I am proud to be here

on behalf of those

who work

to make California work,

the people who build our houses,

teach our children,

care for our sick,

put out the fires,

protect our streets,

cook our food,

pick our fruit,

drive the trucks,

and clean our offices.

I am here because we are all

in this together

when it comes to standing tall

and standing strong

to fight

for the California dream.

Field poll.

Where are we?

Still in the single digits.

6%.

Oy.

Oh, there's still time.

While they will protect

Wall Street banks

and lower taxes

for corporations

and millionaires,

we will fight for jobs.

Can you do that again,

but really emphasize,

"we will fight for jobs"?

While they will protect

Wall Street banks

and lower taxes

for corporations

and millionaires,

we will fight for jobs.

And while they will complain

about what is wrong in America,

we will focus

on what is right in America.

Today, our party,

which has saved this nation

from depression, from fascism,

from racism,

from corruption,

is called upon to do it again,

this time to save the state

from confusion and division,

from the threat

of eventual fiscal disaster

and from those

who lack the courage and vision

to understand that we are all

in this together.

A little higher.

Yeah, up.

Yup.

Now how is it?

Perfect.

What do you think?

I think it's gonna be

a knife fight in a phone booth.

Protein shakes.

Are you sure you're gay?

Nope.

Then what the hell am I doing

with Peaches?

Peaches?

Is this a thing or a fling?

We need her.

We need her?

What if I told you

I was screwing

some hair product reporter

because we needed him?

What would you say?

Is he local or national?

You would not.

[Cell phone ringing]

[Man speaking indistinctly]

What?

You got to get here now!

No, we'll be there...

We'll be there

in less than five.

We're in the Mission now.

We're on our way.

[Car engine starts]

You're gonna give them

to me now, huh?

You're gonna give me

my meds, huh?

'Cause I will cut

your f***ing throat,

little girl.

Excuse me!

Excuse me!

Hey, hey!

You gonna give 'em to me now,

little girl, huh?

Put it down! Stop!

Ah!

You too, Penelope?

You gonna f***ing dis me too?

Huh?

F***ing dis me too!

Hey, Tommy.

Tommy, Marisol is one

of the sweetest,

nicest people I have ever met.

She would never

intentionally disrespect you.

And you know that, right?

- It's not true.

- No, never.

We don't even have

the pills you want, Tommy.

Okay, Tommy.

Give me the knife, okay?

Please.

No, I need my meds.

I know.

Give me the knife.

Give me the knife, Tommy.

Please.

Give me the knife.

No!

Give me the knife.

I can't.

Please.

[Softly]

Give me the knife.

I need my meds, Penelope!

My meds, Penelope.

[Siren wailing]

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

We should get you inside.

Holy sh*t.

[Phones ringing]

[Indistinct chatter]

I'm glad you're okay.

- I'm fine.

- I'm glad.

- I'll be fine.

- Thank you.

I'm, um, so sorry.

Really, really, sorry, you know?

Don't be sorry.

No, we're just glad

that everyone's okay

and that Jimmy called us.

Yeah, I mean,

you were amazing out there.

- Yeah.

- Incredible.

No, no.

You see,

one of the biggest clichs

about this neighborhood.

Normally it's not

like this, really.

You're probably right.

If I can't even control

my own little space,

how can I control

an entire state?

[Chuckles]

Right?

[Sighs]

[Reporters all speaking at once]

So this is what

you've wrought:

Facebook likes,

1.2 million and counting.

Number of YouTube views

of you taking the knife away

from the crazy person:

4,318,000.

And counting.

And watch this.

She's awesome.

She's really inspiring.

That lady is definitely

walking the walk.

Okay, you cannot

take that bandage off

until the election.

It's been almost two weeks.

I think it's time.

No, no, no.

You've got to give me

at least another month.

- I'll give you a week.

- Sold.

- What the f***?

- What?

Check it out.

Helping the homeless

is nothing new

for San Francisco.

We have a long history of it

in our city.

But what is new is a program

one of the volunteers here

has started.

Exhale.

[Child exhales]

[All sigh]

Breathe in.

Tawny Shearson

is no ordinary volunteer.

She has started

a special program

for San Francisco's

homeless children.

Well, the idea is,

why should only rich children

get all the amazing benefits

of yoga?

These kids love it!

They can't get enough of it.

And honestly, I can't get enough

teaching them.

Tawny Shearson, a woman

truly making a difference

for those who need it most.

Rick Sanchez, KXSF News,

at Saint Mary's Church

in the Tenderloin.

Okay, so when she's not

blackmailing us,

she's running for saint?

Those guys are good.

Mandy Denton behind this?

100%.

And we violated the number one

commandment in politics.

We had her down,

and we did not put in the shiv.

All right,

when you think of family,

what are the first things

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