Knife Fight Page #7

huh, Paul?

Well, I don't know about that.

He's up nine points

in the latest field poll.

He's got 16 major

newspaper endorsements,

and more importantly, he's doing

great things for the state.

Spare me.

We're in a no-spin zone

here, Paul.

We both know that he's got

a giant bull's-eye

painted on his back,

and I have a huge f***ing archer

standing right behind him.

But you haven't fired.

I wanted to see what you had

to offer first.

You're interested

in our story?

Of course.

We're fair.

We're balanced.

We're a news organization,

for Christ's sake, Paul.

- Come on.

- [Laughs]

Well, I'm not sure that I agree

with any of those claims.

Our story is

that there is no story.

Nada.

Nothing.

- Zilch.

- Mm.

That's too bad.

Then I guess we'll be hearing

a lot more from Miss Shearson.

It's horrible,

what that poor girl experienced.

Something tells me

she's gonna be just fine.

I was hoping you would do me

a personal favor.

I'd like you to kill any stories

with her ridiculous claims.

[Scoffs]

You must be joking.

Not at all.

You see, I've recently

become aware of a waitress

at the Seville Wine Bar

named Lara.

She tells

a pretty incredible story.

I've never been there.

The story is, guy comes in,

is drinking.

He's interested.

He bites her ass in the bar.

Now, it's... it's...

That was my reaction as well.

So she tells her friend,

who also works there,

and it turns out the same guy

did the same thing to her too.

Really?

And there's more.

Apparently, the guy is so rich...

he was brought in to run

a television station

or something...

that both girls,

looking for opportunities,

as people are wont to do

in these tough economic times,

take pictures...

- Hmm.

- Of the bite marks

and what this guy did to them.

I thought you'd want to know.

I can have this story

up on Gawker

before I get back to my office.

Most of the major media outlets

will probably pick it up,

certainly The Chronicle,

maybe some other

television stations.

But I'm guessing

not here?

Probably not.

This has been great.

Paul, best.

Thanks for the mug.

Absolutely.

- Hey, guys.

Both:
Hey.

I'd like you to meet Angela.

Hi.

Sorry, I was working all day.

- And Dimitris...

- What?

He spent, like,

half your company's budget

on me tonight.

Just a few drinks.

This girl can go toe-to-toe

with the best.

You look familiar.

Very good, Jimmy!

There's something

in between your ears

besides unlistenable punk.

Very nice.

Okay, now tell me from where.

And Paul's disqualified.

Oh, come on.

Nobody?

The Tawny video.

Orange bikini.

That's my girl.

It was red,

and it's my favorite.

Red, blue, yellow.

Who cares?

You looked

that f***ing beautiful in it.

- Thank you.

- You're welcome.

Okay, Dimitris says

that you are a proud graduate

of the Bay City School

of Massage Therapy?

She is the all-star graduate.

She... she won, like,

the what?

The President's Award

or the Iron Cross or something.

Hey.

Hi, I'm sorry.

- Oh, my God.

- I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, my God!

I watch you all the time!

You're Peaches O'Dell!

You're the best!

Thank you.

You are very sweet to say that.

Oh, wow!

All I ever wanted to be

when I was a little girl

was a TV reporter,

and you did it.

Look at you.

And you're like...

Wow, you're here,

like, right here

on the couch beside me!

Angela went to school

with Tawny.

Oh?

What is she like?

- Mean.

- Oh.

Well, she's not always,

but when she drinks,

she gets that way.

Mm-hmm.

Um, pretty, tell her what you

uh, told me about the Baja.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

We were out drinking and...

Well, something she did

a lot of.

Well, but to be honest,

kind of something

I did a lot of too.

And we'd had

this crazy happy hour

where we did

way too many tequila shots

at the Baja Cantina.

You know it?

In Venice?

- I don't.

- It's awesome!

Okay.

So when we left, we passed

this rollerblading place,

and she picked up a pair

of knee pads,

and she said, "These guys,

"a ticket to Washington,

"and this body,

and I'm golden."

Nice.

But how'd she end up

in Sacramento?

Oh, she had some thing

with, like, a politician dude

that she thought

was gonna go, like, a week,

but then he got elected

Speaker of the Assembly.

And when he moved

his whole family up there,

then he brought her up too.

Wow.

I kind of didn't

think much about it.

I didn't think

it was that big of a deal.

- But then Dimitris...

- Yes, I did.

Found me,

and it all came back.

Dimitris found me.

[Laughs]

Would you be willing

to tell this story on camera?

You want me?

Peaches O'Dell, you want to...

you want to interview me?

- Yep.

- Hell yeah!

Yeah!

Yes.

Absolutely, I would, yes.

[Laughs]

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is a story

that needs to be heard.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Just keeping the media happy.

- Fat and happy.

- Fat?

I don't think so.

Just be glad

you're not on camera.

Do you know what I think?

- Hmm?

- I think you're running a con.

I bring you

to the best sushi restaurant

in the town, and this is

the thanks I get?

Are you?

No hidden microphones

or secret cameras?

Want to pat me down?

- Absolutely.

- No.

I think we're surrounded

by the con.

"Tax breaks for the rich

will help the poor.

"Diet drinks will help you

lose 20 pounds,

"and you snag the man

of your dreams.

"Paul, please give us

the inside scoop,

and we promise we'll treat

your guy fairly in the story."

"The guy you elect today

will change

your world tomorrow."

You know, the first race

I ever ran

was for my dad's

childhood friend, Ron Gerace.

Great guy.

Just very little

formal education,

but smart and honest.

He was running for mayor

against a corrupt a**hole

who had been in office forever

and was considered unbeatable.

I was, like, 20

and had no experience

but a lot of energy

and a lot of ideas.

But really,

I didn't know sh*t.

Like now.

- More so.

- [Laughs]

But what I did know was

that if I worked hard enough

and a miracle happened

and Ron got in,

that the world would somehow

be a better place.

Did he win?

He killed.

He was the best mayor

Minneapolis ever had.

So, as corny as it sounds,

if you believe,

it happens.

So what do you believe?

That if you get

the right guy elected,

you are so far into a place

that is beyond

running a campaign

or reporting the news.

You are making the news.

And that's what we dream of.

So do I believe?

[Sighs]

Yeah.

I believe.

Conning me?

[Laughs]

I am not.

It's the truth.

Straight up.

Swear to God.

[Laughs]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Cell phone ringing and buzzing]

That'll be the day.

That... That is your god.

You believe in the god

of BlackBerry.

Please, it's only a tool.

Right.

Then don't answer it.

I dare you.

You love that thing

more than life itself.

Well, that would be crazy.

What are you...

What the f***?

[Scoffs]

It's merely a tool.

- What?

- We did a sweeps piece on this.

I know it looks really weird,

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