Knife Fight Page #8

but the rice

will bring it back to life.

It better.

Hmm.

Oh, you have some right there.

There you go.

[Music playing]

I'm not too much

of a vapid beauty queen?

I don't know.

I'm not too much

of an overeducated,

BlackBerry-addicted guy

running a con?

# Come bring me home #

# It's been a long time coming #

[cell phone ringing and buzzing]

- Hello.

- Paul, where the hell are you?

I've been emailing you

every two minutes!

You know, I had a long night.

I had meeting after meeting,

and then I just lost track

of time.

And then I had a BlackBerry

technical malfunction.

It works!

Nothing.

Did you send it to the iPhone?

I'll look at it there.

Okay.

And we just learned tonight

that a local man claims

his girlfriend is having

an ongoing affair

with the governor.

And he claims he has her diary

to prove it.

Sounds like this is one

explosive story.

And what was

the governor's response?

Well, nothing yet, Dani.

And to be fair,

this just came in but our...

This is terrible.

We need to get down there.

What's the first flight

we can get?

Oh, God.

F*** a duck.

No, honey.

You f***ed an intern.

That's why we're all here.

Has anyone actually

seen the diary?

Hey, darlin'.

[Sighs]

Do we even know

that the diary's real?

We don't,

and if it's electronic,

that would be a huge break.

Is she a nutter?

No. No.

She's solid.

I like her.

I mean, I...

You know what I mean.

Paul, as much as I want

to violently disagree

with every single thing,

every word,

every syllable

my alleged husband says,

that one thing is true.

She's the daughter

of one of our professors.

And?

And you're not gonna

Kobe Bryant her,

turn her into some sort of

predatory slut.

Well, we're just

getting started here.

She may not be perfect

or even completely innocent.

I have no idea.

But you are not gonna trash her.

- Look, honey...

- No, honey.

You guys trash her,

and I won't be there

to do my stand-by-my-man thing,

and then you're really f***ed.

Honey.

[Sighs]

So what do we do?

Sweetie, we have entered

a deep, dark, unspinnable place.

[Loud dance music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

Ah.

It's nice to know no matter

how bad things get,

there's gonna be a naked girl

on a pole to cheer you right up.

Try many, many girls.

Hi.

You object?

- Enjoying.

- That's my girl.

There's a gentleman

sitting across the way

in a football jersey.

That's the boyfriend.

His name is Junior,

believe it or not,

Junior Conway.

He's here all the time.

Don't get me wrong.

I could stay here all day.

But you got to do better

than that.

Patience, my friend.

Patience.

Junior?

He sells coke to everyone:

Girls, customers.

Sh*t, he probably even sells it

to the cops that come in.

Okay, what about her?

I did see her once.

And did Junior there

provide the refreshments?

Yes and no.

What do you mean?

One time we were all,

like, three girls from the club,

Junior and a couple

of his buddies...

we were at a frat party

in Lexington

doing a bunch

of Junior's blow,

and he kept telling her

to do it.

But she didn't want to do it?

Not really.

She kept saying no.

Junior wouldn't let it go.

He was buggin' on it,

and he kept saying

over and over,

"Are you 22 or 62?

Just go for it."

Did she do any?

She did a tiny bit

of the blow,

and then, five minutes later,

she went home alone.

I mean, if I had to guess,

that was probably the beginning

of the end.

I mean, they're just

so different.

Did you ever see her

do the drugs again?

I mean, I barely saw her

do it that once.

It's go time.

It's do or die,

but it's your call.

Sophia's gonna go batshit.

You should look at this.

They've made a major ad buy.

It's about to hit.

A guy at the station

slipped it to me.

Larry Becker wants us

to give him another term

as governor

so he can A:
Continue

to use the governor's office

as his personal sex spa,

B:
Use our tax dollars

to pay the state troopers

who guard him

when he's on the prowl,

or C:
Convince you that a girl

just out of high school

really isn't

the first mistress of Kentucky

so he can have four more years

in office?

Is this really the kind of man

you would trust

with your daughter?

Or your state?

I'm Justin Perkins.

[Baseball bat cracks]

And I'll restore dignity back

to the governor's office.

I don't know

where to f***ing start.

And by the way, since when is 22

just out of high school?

She could have been 32.

They'd have used the same line.

Know what's weird?

She's a good girl, really.

Well, the boyfriend's

a**hole central.

Dimitris already got him

getting a 100k payday

and double that if you go down.

Oh, f*** me.

Six months ago, the only way

I could lose this thing

was to get caught in bed

with a dead girl or a live boy.

Now this.

So what's it gonna be?

Sonny or Michael?

Sonny.

Go nuclear.

- Bloggers.

- Yep.

- TV reporters.

- Yeah.

Talk show bloviaters

and newspapers.

- All of them.

- Newspapers.

City, community, college.

I want all of our big guys,

and I want every newbie

looking to break in.

Okay, they're set up.

Got it.

Take this on deep background.

Just follow the money.

It leads straight back

to Perkins.

Listen, I'm doing you this favor

so you don't get beat again.

You did all the legwork,

but you definitely did not

get this information from us.

Now, this story is yours

and yours only,

but remember, whatever you do,

don't source back to us.

And remember, this is embargoed

for a 7:
00 a.m.

Online posting tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah,

but you're not giving this

to anyone else, right?

Because, let's face it.

My blog

drives the cable coverage.

All the insiders come

to us first.

No, absolutely.

You get the first pop.

This is gonna be more

than a pop.

When I heard about this story,

I had a blogasm.

Now you get multiple blogasms.

[Chuckles]

Perkins and his buddies

are rat-f***ing Kentucky.

So we're talking about

the Sunday edition

above the fold, right?

Right.

So I hear that you two

are Kentucky's answer

to Woodward and Bernstein.

Who?

Never mind.

But I am Deep Throat.

[Loud dance music playing]

Hey, didn't you go to school

with that major anchor

in Lexington, Dani whatever?

I competed against her.

Well, that's close enough.

But if you slipped her

the information...

We're not exactly friends.

- But you can call her, right?

- Paul.

I don't understand

what's wrong.

Paul, shut up and f***.

It had been nearly a week

since Governor Becker

last answered

reporters' questions.

But when he came out

of church this morning,

the governor was finally ready

to speak to the media.

Governor, would you like

to make a statement?

Yes, I would.

Uh, more than anything,

these charges are complete

and utter fiction.

John Grisham

could have written this

or, better still,

Stephen King,

'cause this has...

This has truly been

a horror story for my family.

And this alleged diary

the man claims to have

is just more fiction,

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