Knock Knock Page #5

and packed up and ready to go.

- Why would Evan do this?

- She said it wasn't us.

Okay.

Oh, f***.

Oh, my God.

What the f*** did y'all do?

What the f*** is this sh*t!

We didn't want to tell you,

someone broke in

and that's why Evan's out.

- He was chasing them.

- Yeah.

Shut the f*** up!

Shut the f*** up,

both of you right now!

Nobody f***ing move!

I'm calling the cops right now.

Please don't tell Karen.

This could be our little secret.

B*tch, you're barking up

the wrong f***ing tree.

I'm from Oakland, ho!

I know two ghetto ass

hos when I see 'em!

Come to think of it,

Evan doesn't even have any f***ing nieces.

Who the f*** are you?

You better hope the police

get here before Karen does.

- What the f*** was that?

- Nothing.

- Hey, wait.

- Wait.

- It's nothing.

- Get out of my way!

Sh*t.

Sh*t!

Mr. Webber!

Are you okay? Oh, f***!

They're crazy!

Close the door.

Close the door.

Louis!

- I gotta stop these crazy ass b*tches.

- Louis, forget it!

They're dangerous!

No! No! Stop!

Stop it!

What are you doing!

Looking for this?

Louis! Be careful!

They're crazy!

BEL) Monkey in the middle!

Monkey in the middle!

We can't say

that, Belly, it's racist.

Okay, man in the middle!

Give it to him!

No, Genesis, give him that!

Louis!

Louis!

Genesis! Please, this isn't his fault!

Please call an ambulance, help him!

F***er!

Bel, please help him!

Call an ambulance, I promise

I won't say anything!

Bel, Genesis! Call an ambulance,

for f***'s sake!

I think it's a little late

for an ambulance, Evan.

He tripped, it's his fault.

We were just playing

monkey in the middle.

I mean, man in the middle.

Oh, my God!

You killed him!

You killed him!

Your wife killed him

with her shitty sculpture.

This sh*t's dangerous, Evan.

How can you keep

this here with kids?

That's irresponsible parenting.

Yeah maybe your wife

should stick to painting.

Get the f*** away from me!

Where do you think

you're going, Evan?

Get the f*** off me!

Leave me alone!

Wanna go for a little ride?

You can't run away

from us, Daddy.

You can't escape.

Ahhh!

This is what happens when you break

the rules of the game, Evan.

This is just like art class.

What I did to Karen's statue

is nothing compared

to what I'm going to do to you

if I ever see your

f***ing lying face again.

I trusted you both,

how could you f*** my wife?

Never come

near my family again.

Disappear or you're

f***ing dead.

Which way is MOMA?

It's more like "momma."

Ronnie is gonna have

a field day with this one.

Yeah, I'm sure he will.

That guy's a magician.

Yeah.

He can make anything disappear.

Let's finish this.

Wow, those were some

really long commercials.

Thanks to our sponsor Louis

for that little lovely break.

Now! Back to our

million dollar question.

What is the proper punishment

for a pedophile?

Please.

I love my children.

I love my wife.

I'm a good father.

How can you judge anyone?

You're murderers.

Is that your final answer?

Cause you're gonna go deaf

in about 10 seconds from now.

Please, Genesis!

I'm a good father!

Until yesterday.

That doesn't change

how much I love them!

Do you really love them, Evan?

Really?

More than anything in the world.

So why didn't you think of

them when you were inside us?

Yeah, why, Evan?

Last night had nothing

to do with my family.

Damn right it didn't, Evan!

It had nothing

to do with them.

Your family are victims.

Victims of your sleazy, disgusting,

perverted behavior.

Jake. Lisa.

They don't deserve

a father like you.

This is what you did

to your family.

You pervert.

Genesis, please,

this isn't the answer!

Wrong answer.

Correct answer is death.

We'll be back

after this commercial break.

Death?

Death?

You're gonna kill me?

You're gonna f***ing kill me!

Why? Why!

Because I f***ed you?

You f***ed me!

You f***ed me!

You came to my house!

You came to me!

I got you a car,

I brought you your clothes,

you took a f***ing bubble bath!

You wanted it! You wanted it!

You came on to me!

What was I supposed to do?

You sucked my cock, you both

f***ing sucked my cock!

It was free pizza!

Free f***ing pizza!

It just shows up

at my f***ing door!

What am I supposed to do?

"We're flight attendants.

Come on, f*** us!

"No one will know.

Come on, f*** us!"

Oh, twosomes, threesomes.

It doesn't matter!

Starfish! Husbands!

You don't give a f***,

you'll just f*** anything,

you'll just f*** anything!

Well, you lied to me,

I tried to help you!

I let you in,

I was a good guy,

I'm a good father!

And you just f***ing f***ed me!

What?

Now, you're gonna kill me!

You're gonna kill me? Why?

Why? 'Cause you f***ed me?

What the f***-f***-f***,

this is f***ing insane!

You're to be executed at dawn.

If I were you,

I wouldn't waste my last

few hours crying about it.

I'm sorry, Daddy.

It is the only way.

Bel?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

FaceTime. Karen!

FaceTime. Karen.

Digging a grave

is f***ing tiring.

And filthy.

Your wife's clothes

are gonna need dry cleaning.

What's that?

You can't have access

to an iPad, Evan.

You could be trying

to reach a child.

Let's face it, Evan.

You're a monster.

Or should I say monster!

What?

Monster surprised?

How do you know about that?

Oh, monster confused!

How the f*** do you know that!

Monster will be quiet!

You spied on me?

On my kids?

Oh, my f***ing God!

Oh, my f***ing God! Jesus!

I'm so f***ing stupid!

Yeah, you are.

Monster retarded.

Let's change, I feel gross.

Look at all this sh*t.

This is you, Evan.

This is gonna be your little f***ing head,

you f***ing cheater!

I love this color!

Red's my favorite!

Time for a haircut, Evan.

Gotta be pretty for your funeral.

He's so hairy.

You don't wanna lose an ear.

Hold still.

There we go.

You look pretty.

There's Evan cutie!

There you have it.

Oh, now we see your pretty face.

F***ing b*tches!

"I love the sound

of vinyl. I'm Evan."

Watch this, Evan.

Jackpot!

Is that real?

What a clever way to hide

this from the kids, Evan!

You know, most firearm deaths are

a family member of the gun owner.

I don't own a gun.

It's dangerous.

Untie him.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

Genesis, please don't

point that at me.

I know,

it's cheating.

We still have 90 minutes.

But you were keeping secrets

from us, Evan.

Had you gotten to this before us

I don't think we'd be

having this conversation.

And you wouldn't do the same?

I'm not like you, Evan.

I don't own a gun,

I don't shoot people.

I sure as hell don't bend the rules

for my own convenience.

Untie him, Belly.

I don't want him to kick me.

He won't.

He kicks, I shoot.

He knows that.

Don't you, Evan?

What do you want?

I wanna play hide and seek.

What?

Thirty seconds.

Only inside the house.

You leave the house, I shoot.

What're you gonna do

when you find me?

Well, if we don't

find you by sunrise,

we'll leave.

- Bullshit.

- Thirty seconds. Go! Go!

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