Knucklehead Page #2

If you haven't started by then, they're

all going to be assigned to foster homes.

-Oh, my God. Thank you so much.

-Yes, thank you kindly, Mum.

And, kid, that is the worst accent

I have ever heard in my entire life.

-Gotcha.

-That is great. Good job. Good job.

Big place. Nice.

This is-- No.

I can do this.

What's up, big guy?

So, you know, long-time listener,

first-time caller.

Okay, so, you know, huge fan.

Love your work.

You know, all the planets and trees,

clouds, stars.

Great stuff.

Doughnut holes.

You probably also know...

...that it's been a long time

since I caught a break.

A really long time.

And....

Look, I know I've done some

questionable things in the past, yeah...

...and I don't deserve it...

...but I was just wondering

if you could do me a solid right now.

We are royally screwed.

And by royally, I mean full-on

Buckingham Palace, tea and crumpets...

...bad skin and crooked teeth screwed.

I'll do anything I can

to make this right, Sister.

How? How, Walter?

What? With a bake sale? A car wash?

You think you can raise 25 grand

in one week? What is wrong with you?

I'm a knucklehead.

Like a little lightning or something.

A big boom.

Now you know how those boys

are going to feel...

...when they are dragged out of here

and sent back into the system next week.

I'll think of something.

Well, I tried.

-You damn well better.

-Walter, watch out.

Now that's a solid.

Hello there. I'm Eddie Sullivan.

If you're looking to be a three-time

champion in any form of fighting...

...or you're just looking to get yourself

in fighting shape-- Just kidding.

--then I'm your guy.

If you're looking for someone

to give you that extra push...

... then look no further.

Come on, my friend. Come on. All you

gotta do is want it more than he does.

Do you want it?

Yes! Attababy, fat boy.

If you're serious about becoming

a champion, or looking like one...

...then Eddie Sullivan's

the trainer for you.

The best. Think about it.

So? All right, what do you think?

I think you're an idiot, Mr. Sullivan.

Okay, you know, that's a little harsh,

wouldn't you say, Sister?

All right. Why don't we start over?

Call me Eddie.

See, the thing is, Eddie, that Walter here,

he just isn't really a fighter.

More of a gentle giant, really.

Not a problemo.

Look, I will take you on the road...

...and by the time we hit New Orleans,

you will be a ruthless killer.

That's not me. No.

See...

...I think you're just gonna have to find

someone else to do your dirty work.

And what exactly is in this for you,

Mr. Sullivan?

What's in it for me?

What's--? What's in it for me?

The satisfaction of helping others

in need.

And half the purse.

Would you mind if we have

a few minutes alone, please?

Oh, Sister Francesca, of course I can.

Yeah, take all the time you need.

Take a minute, take two.

-Watch the furniture.

-Thanks.

-Out that door.

-Oh, right, yeah.

I'm just gonna grab my computer.

Lot of nuns around, you never know.

-That'll do.

-Okay.

You are not seriously considering this,

are you, Sister?

I don't like this guy any more than you do,

Mary, but he's right.

-We are out of options.

-Sister Francesca--

-Let me ask you something.

-Yes, ma'am.

What would Jesus do?

Decline graciously.

He sacrificed his life for us.

Are you willing to do the same?

-No, not really.

-Get over there. All right.

Look out there. Just look at those boys.

You should know what it's like

to be a ward of the state...

...being bounced around from

one foster home to the next.

Are you prepared to watch those boys

go down that road, Walter?

-No.

-Good man.

How do we know this schmuck

won't run off with all the money?

We don't. That's why you're going too.

-What?

-Let's face it, Mary.

You're the one with the most

life experience around here.

I can only hope that it's the Lord's hand

that's guiding me now.

Don't make me look like an idiot.

Congratulations, Mr. Sullivan.

-We have a deal.

-Great.

But mark my words.

Hell hath no fury like a nun scorned.

Okay, got it.

-Think about it.

-Think about it.

Watch out for road rage.

-Bye. Mary?

-Yeah?

-Call me, okay?

-Okay, I will.

-It's gonna be fine. We got it.

-Walter, put that seat belt on.

All right, let's go.

-Bye!

-Bye!

All right, you got the rear naked choke.

Put his neck right in your elbow.

Lock at the other elbow,

push his head forward.

You squeeze this just right

and it is lights out.

All right, you wanna connect with blows

here, here, and here.

-That really hurts.

-Yeah, that's the point.

-I don't know about this.

-Oh, relax.

I've trained dozens of fighters. His size

alone will carry him most of the way.

All right, now, make a face, big boy.

Hi.

Okay, all right.

We'll work on it.

You wanna tell us where we're going?

Please, you can call me Eddie.

I've mapped out every amateur, pro-am,

and semi-official fighting event...

...from here to New Orleans.

We'll tape each fight,

upload highlights to create lnternet buzz.

Crowd support is

a huge part of the game.

Now, Walter's first match is today

in Jefferson City.

Today?

Yeah, today. Provided he doesn't

knock himself out before we get there.

That's a mean face.

That's good.

Okay, fellas, come on, get out.

My old pal Vic. You look great.

No, I don't.

-What do you want?

-I was looking for that son of yours.

I was hoping to give him a little bit more

encouragement about paying off his debts.

Oh, yeah? Well...

...I'd love to help you there, Earl,

but he ain't here.

-Oh, yeah? Where is he, in the back?

-No. He's--

Well, he's on his way to New Orleans.

What the hell for?

We crushed his only fighter.

Yeah, I know, but he's got a new guy.

Best one I've ever seen.

And he's a lot bigger

and he's a lot badder...

...than this particular dirtbag

you got over here.

Really? Well, I'd love to meet him.

Yeah, well, you're not his type.

Well, let me guess, now.

I would bet that they'll be working

their way on the amateur circuit...

...on their way to New Orleans.

But since I hate guessing,

why don't you just tell me where they are?

Not a chance in hell, Earl.

Temple Beth lsrael?

-Here.

-Okay.

On your head.

Well, I got you for 7-to-5

and you're down for a deuce.

No, 7-to-5, not 6.

You want 6-to-5, call Goldsmith.

Ready when you are, Padre.

Yeah. No, it's Rabbi, you putz,

and you're late.

I got a packed house,

they're in a foul mood. Where is he?

Look up.

Oy gevalt.

Yeah, listen, you change down there.

I just gotta make a quick call...

...and lay off a couple of bets.

You're fantastic.

-All right, come on.

-Listen, it's me. No, the other me.

-Good luck, Walter.

-Bye, Mary.

Let's go, Walter. Come on.

Go get yourself a good seat. Go, go, go,

This is barbaric.

And there's no women in there.

-Of course not.

-Well, hey.

Walter--

Oh, my God.

-Walt, what the hell is this?

-You said put on my shorts.

There's something you don't see

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