Knucklehead Page #6

-Let go.

-Let her go, numbnuts.

Speaking of numbnuts.

Hey, Godzilla.

I'm sorry.

No, no, no.

-Are you okay?

-I'm okay. You all right?

Am I okay?

Am I okay?

Yeah, I'm okay!

I am fantastic!

You are a killer.

Look at you. I told you,

you're a natural-born killer.

I'm going back inside,

get the security tapes.

This, right here, this is what lnternet hits

are made of.

-I did good. Did you see that?

-You were great.

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

I'm telling you, Walter,

you're gonna be big.

-Think so?

-Bigger than I ever even thought of being.

Thanks, man.

Why did you stop fighting?

Oh, you know, I just--

I sustained a career-debilitating injury...

...that forced me into

an early retirement.

What kind of injury?

You know. You know, just--

It was a hard hit that caused me

to have to turn the page.

Was it to the face?

Like a damaged retina, brain damage?

-That sounds about right.

-No...

...it wasn't. It was a just a little--

You know.

-A little lower.

-So to the stomach.

So it's like a ruptured spleen--?

Do we have to talk about this?

Is this something we have to talk about?

Testicular trauma.

Yeah, right. From an unlucky kick

in St. Louis. That's right.

No, go ahead. Yeah, no, laugh it up.

I guess my hemorrhaged testicle's

funny to you.

No, no, no.

It's just a little bit-- Just like nutty.

-All right.

-Okay, okay, look.

Look, Eddie...

...we're just busting your balls a little.

Okay, aren't we comedians now.

Dude, dude, check it out.

-That's gotta be him. Let's go.

-lt is.

-Come on.

-That's him, that's him.

-That's totally him.

-There's no way.

Hey, hey. Aren't you the guy

that choked out that bear?

-Damn, it is him.

-Take a picture. We're like huge fans.

-Oh, my Lord--

-You getting this?

All right, let's break it up.

We got places to see, people to go.

-Come on, tell your story walking.

-Dude, that sucks.

I mean, I know a lot of guys at our frat...

...who would pay to say they went

toe-to-toe with the bear basher.

-ls that right?

-Yeah.

Let me introduce myself. Eddie Sullivan,

Sullivan Sports Management.

I represent the bear basher.

-You got cash?

-Yeah.

Start stretching. Where is this frat?

-Unbelievable.

-Down the street.

Okay, get in the stance, okay?

Get your arms up, like that.

Good. Okay? Then you get in the stand.

-Then you spin and kick.

-Kick.

I'm so sorry.

Got her.

All right, I want you to just

try to get the arms.

-Try to stretch me out.

-I can do that.

Yeah, that's something. That's good.

Mary. Mary!

Oh, Walter.

Hey.

Hey.

I....

-I just never got a chance to say thank you.

-For what?

For rescuing me at the gas station.

Me? No, I was trying to save them

from you.

-I'm sorry, I just--

-That sucks. Okay.

I don't know.

No, no, it's-- That's okay.

Hey, do you think we can pretend

that awkward moment never happened...

-...so I don't obsess over being so stupid?

-Yeah, I think we could do that.

Great.

-Good night.

-Good night.

Okay.

-You want--?

-Could l--?

-That would be great.

-Sure.

-Yeah.

-All right, sleep well.

-Sorry.

-No, it's okay.

Seriously?

I'm learning.

You certainly are, Walter.

You certainly are.

Night, Eddie.

Good night, big man.

-You'd look pretty in that dress.

-Me? No.

Do you think Tina would like it?

You got a crush on Tina.

-No.

-You do.

-No.

-Yes, you do.

-All set. We got adjoining rooms. Yup.

-Oh, wow, adjoining rooms. Fancy.

Oh, my gosh.

Should we be staying in a place like this?

I mean, this is too much.

Nonsense. Look, every win up

until this point has afforded us this luxury.

If we're gonna be champions,

we gotta act like it.

-Whatever you say, Ed.

-That's what I say.

All right, you get settled,

I'm gonna load up on supplies.

-I'll be back in a bit.

-Bye, Eddie.

This place is awesome.

I have a TV in my bathroom.

You have a TV in your bathroom.

You should live it up.

Just don't get too used to it.

Because after tomorrow's fight,

no matter what...

...we're still going back

to the real world, so....

This is the real world, Mary.

-That's right, buddy.

-Eddie.

That's right, this is the real world.

How about a little pre-fight celebration?

We are going out tonight.

New Prleans style.

And we are gonna have

some fun, my friend.

-Check that out.

-What is it?

Yeah, they had one of those

big, tall and extremely gigantic shops.

Eddie that's--

Man, this is awesome.

-I'm gonna put this on.

-Right.

I'll be back.

All right.

That was really nice.

You know.

You didn't have to do this. It's awesome.

Mary, love you. Eddie, love you too.

Love you. He loves me.

That's for you.

That's nice.

Thank you.

Take your time.

We'll meet you at the restaurant.

I'll catch you inside!

Breathe, folks,

just a couple of good-looking guys...

...out on the town, no big deal.

As you were.

This way, my friend.

Look around. These are real women.

They don't look that real to me.

Don't do that. What are you doing?

Never let them see you're interested.

-I'm not interested.

-Exactly.

Sit down. It's like poker, Walter.

Okay? Listen to me, once they know

your cards, you're finished.

-That's why you never ever stare.

-Never stare.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, good advice, Eddie.

Please. You look incredible.

Oh, thanks.

I don't know. Been a long time

since I've dressed like this.

Well, you should make a point

of doing it much more often.

I know who you are. I know.

You're that big guy

that beats up people on the lnternet, right?

Yes.

Actually, it's more of an exhibition

of various forms of martial arts.

-Yeah, I'm the guy that beats people up.

-Yeah.

-So you wanna dance?

-Oh, no, I don't dance.

-Oh, come on.

-Go on, Walter. One dance.

-Come on. Show them your moves.

-Eddie.

-Howdy. I'm Jiggles.

-Well, hello, Jiggles.

See, now that's a nickname.

Jiggles, I would like

a Cadillac margarita...

-...and the lady will have--

-Just a water.

A water and a Cadillac margarita.

-Coming right up.

-Thank you, Jiggles.

That's a name.

-All right, let's dance.

-No, no.

Just because I put this dress on doesn't

mean I'm gonna make a fool out of myself.

Okay, so let me just get this straight.

You don't dance and you don't drink.

You're quite the party, Miss Poppins.

Nothing? We're not--

Okay, fine, be that way.

I'm just gonna have to go kick it

my-sizz-elf. See you in a bit.

Hello, people. The kid's in the house.

Here we go.

You know, your boyfriend's cute.

Oh, he's not my boyfriend.

Lucky me, then.

You know, Mary, I'm glad you came out

with us tonight.

Jiggles, Jiggles, Jiggles.

Why don't you take a walk?

Don't talk to me like that.

-Can we all--?

-What?

You have just messed

with the wrong waitress.

Oh, really?

Yeah, come on.

-Ladies, I'm flattered, but you don't have--

-Bring it.

Really?

Bring it.

Now, who's the church lady?

What?

What?

Spinning heel kick. I taught her that.

That was--

Walter, a little help, please.

Yup. Thank you.

Thank you. Okay, let's go.

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