Krampus Page #3

It's getting late.

Beth should be home by now.

She's fine.

She's at Derek's.

All the more reason to worry.

Hey, hon, relax.

Just for once, okay?

How's everybody else doing?

You know, cranky, bored,

sick of the snow.

And each other.

'Tis the season.

Oh, god, I miss us.

Me too.

Mom, dad.

It's already dark out

and Beth isn't back yet.

Hey, Howard.

Do you think your Hummer

could get through this mess?

Lucinda?

I could point her due east,

hit the gas

and she'd be

storming the beaches

at normandy by sunrise.

What's on your mind, t?

Well, it's-it's Beth.

She went to her boyfriend's

earlier and she hasn't

come back yet.

See? Let them out of

your sight for one second,

and boom, shotgun wedding.

Aunt Dorothy, please.

Well, you ought to know.

It's probably nothing.

But I thought we'd go

pick her up,

take a quick swing around town,

see what's going on out there.

A little recon mission, huh?

Thought you'd never ask.

- Okay.

- Go to mama.

Yep.

All righty.

Thomas. Thomas.

What? Why?

What the hell is she

so riled up about?

She says not to go.

That it's too dangerous,

and that we should wait

until the storm's over.

- Tom.

- No, I got this.

Hey, mom, we have

to go pick up Beth,

but Max and Sarah

will take care of you

while I'm gone, okay?

Mom. Hey, mom, listen.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Global warming, my ass.

Must be negative 20

out here.

This just doesn't

make any sense.

You try am?

Yeah, I tried everything.

The storm

probably knocked out

the radio stations too.

I guess so.

What I wouldn't give

for a little bing Crosby

right about now.

All right, slow down.

What is that?

Is that a snowplow?

Ahh.

Hello?

Christ.

Poor bastard must have

sailed clear through.

Looks more like

the opposite.

What do you mean?

The glass is punched in.

We got to find Beth.

You packed guns on Christmas.

Always be prepared,

boy scout.

It's kind of heavy.

Yeah. It's Linda's.

Oh, my gosh.

You had mom's angel

this whole time?

Yeah. I thought you knew.

No.

Oh.

Remember we used to fight

over who got to place her?

Yeah. You fought dirty.

I still have the scars.

Where do you think

my girls get it from?

Wow. You saved everything.

Yeah.

I figured that's what mom

would have done, you know.

Mom?

Probably just squirrels.

In this weather?

See?

- Squirrels.

- Right.

Probably playing

with their nuts.

Beth?

Derek!

Beth!

Quiet, Tommy.

I don't like this.

Whoever did this is

a demented son of a b*tch.

Don't worry.

We'll find her,

buddy.

Looks like a gas line blew.

What's that?

I've hunted a lot of game

in my day.

Those are hooves.

Big ones too.

Could be an elk or a goat.

What kind of goat

walks on its hind legs?

Beth!

Beth!

Beth!

Beth!

Beth!

- Beth!

- Tommy!

Wait up!

Howard!

- Oh, my god!

- Hold on, Howard!

Help! Oh, god!

Help me!

Come on!

Tommy!

Aah!

Something--

something's biting me!

Don't let go!

- Tommy?

Let's go!

What was that thing?

I don't know,

but we have to move!

Oh, my god.

Oh.

Lucinda!

Where do you think

you're going?

To find them.

I don't like this.

What are you talking about?

Tom and Howard know what

they're doing. They're fine.

- Are they?

- Mom?

Honey, I'll be right back.

I promise.

Just lock the door--

oh, god!

- Max, get the first aid kit!

Sarah, lock the door!

Girls! Make some room

for your dad!

- Get the door!

- Shut the door!

Where's Beth?

We heard gunshots!

I'll explain everything, but

right now everybody just needs

to stay calm and stay inside!

And get away from the windows!

Swords, guns,

knives, pots, pans!

Get whatever you can--

Howard!

What?

Not here.

Jiminy Christmas.

What happened out there?

Nothing.

It's just a scratch.

- Oh, my god. It looks

like something bit you.

- Nope.

Probably a bear trap

under the snow or something.

We don't have bears here.

Okay. Um--

kids, why don't you go into

the kitchen and get something

to eat now, okay?

You just don't wanna tell us

what's going on here!

Everybody into the kitchen

right now, Max, okay? Right now.

Come on. Let's go.

Girls, come on.

- Aunt Dorothy, will you

keep an eye on them?

- Why me?

I never liked kids,

even when I was one.

Please.

Oh, all right.

All right!

Come on, guys.

I'm gonna teach you how

to make peppermint schnapps.

Mom.

Mom, will you please go

into the kitchen

and help with the kids?

Come here, baby.

See? A little sugar

and a little spice--

uh-huh--

makes everything nice.

Mmm.

All right.

But don't you rat me out.

Who or what did all this?

Your guess is as good as mine.

First I thought

it was a gang thing.

But between this

and all the crazy stuff

we saw out here,

it just doesn't add up.

It could be terrorists, right?

Yeah, terrorists.

Maybe traded their suicide vests

for rabid snow dogs?

Tommy!

Tom, god!

Sorry. Sorry.

And, um--

- Beth?

- Okay.

She wasn't at Derek's,

but that doesn't mean anything.

She may have found

somewhere safe.

- So she's still out there.

- Yes. And we will find her.

I had to make sure

you guys were safe.

I had to get Howard back--

I don't care how long it takes.

We have to keep looking.

We have to pair up

and take turns--

- yes.

- We can't go back out there!

You see this?

- It's damn near frostbite

in under four minutes!

- Honey, keep your voice down.

Besides it being

subzero out there,

someone's tearing through

your fancy-ass neighborhood

picking everybody off.

- It's the truth!

- Honey, sweetheart. Listen, why

don't we just leave? Right?

We can all pile in the truck

and we'll just see as far

as we can get,

and we can pick up Beth--

the truck's gone.

- Torn to pieces.

- Linda, Sarah:

What?

Yeah. And even if she wasn't,

the streets are totally screwed.

We can't go anywhere.

It's too dangerous. You got it?

Howard, how much ammo

do you have?

A couple shells still loaded,

maybe a dozen in my pocket. Why?

I think our best bet

is to stay put.

Board up all the doors

and windows.

And as soon

as the weather breaks,

we'll go find her.

I told you we should

have gone to my brother's.

Sure, Howard.

Christmas on a pig farm.

- Jesus was born in a barn!

- Knock it off, you guys!

What are we gonna

tell the kids?

- I don't know. The truth?

- Sure. Which version of it?

Hey, you guys.

Oh, god.

How much

did you hear?

Enough.

Mama, did someone take Beth?

Are they coming for us?

No. No, babies, no.

Everything's fine.

Beth's just with her boyfriend,

that's all.

And nothing bad's gonna happen

on Christmas, right?

You know what?

Let's have a campout, okay?

We'll watch a movie. Yeah?

Let's get cozy on the couch.

Go get your sister, Stevie.

Come on, baby.

Come on.

We'll find her,

i promise.

"And lo, the angel

of the lord came upon them.

And the glory of the lord

shone round about them.

And they were so afraid.

And the angel said unto them--

'fear not.

For behold, I bring you

tidings of great joy.'"

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