Krystal Page #4

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I hope you didn't try

that tired, old line on my mom.

I would've thought only old bags

would work in a joint like this.

Or gay guys.

F***ing birds?

I'm running the joint while the

old bag is having a procedure.

Cancer, huh?

No, not cancer,

a procedure. Jesus.

Hey, what's this one?

Oh, The Trumpeter Swan.

You like it?

I don't know.

It's my favorite. I've never

seen one in real life.

Its song is supposed

to be amazing.

It only sings when it flies.

I get that.

Somebody painted this?

Somebody did.

- [man] I think I'm going to cry.

- Willie?

Bobby.

Didn't get to catch your name.

Taylor.

[chuckles] Oh, sh*t?

Taylor?

Name like that,

sweet face like yours.

Where I've been,

you'd be f***ing Prom Queen.

I'm going to have to ask you

to put that cigarette out.

Sucking up to the boy

to bone my old lady.

You're obvious, sir,

like balls on a tall dog.

Let's take a ride.

Come on.

One more step, motherf***er!

Ohhh.

You got me all shook up.

[groaning]

Now, you see here,

I'm going to take the boy

back to his mama.

Then I'm going to fall on my knees and

beg her to forgive me and take me back.

Then, we're going to go back

to Savannah where we belong.

And she'll thank me too.

As you should,

for being a gentleman

and not turning your f***ing

lights out right here and now.

[grunts]

- Let's go!

- I'm kind of stunned it doesn't hurt more.

Get on.

All right, go!

Whoa!

Keep going, come on.

He's not getting up,

I think we're all right.

- Oh! Ah!

- Oh, my God!

[Bobby] You're heavy!

[Taylor] Thanks a lot.

Tell me something I don't know.

- Do you see him?

- No, I don't see him. I don't see him.

- I think he's following us.

- I think I need to go to the hospital.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, my God!

Oh, God.

- [Bobby] Oh, God!

- [car horn honks]

[both] Oh, sh*t.

Yes! Yes! Yes!

All right, go. Come on!

This thing can go faster than

that, I know it can, come on!

F*** you, Willie!

Whoo!

[nurse] Dr. Farley?

Oh, another episode of...

No.

But apparently,

I've been stabbed.

- Whoa! Get back, Loretta!

- Ow! Okay.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask

you to leave, immediate family only.

Oh, it's all right,

this is my cousin.

- Once removed.

- Who did this to you?

The Devil.

I don't have any gloves.

Don't be such a p*ssy.

Willie isn't the Devil.

- Should I still be bleeding this much?

- I don't have any damn gloves.

Anybody who believes in the Devil

should give people more credit.

Right on.

Maybe some stitches.

You can't believe the people

that I see in here.

Stupid people.

People who smell really bad.

People without proper insurance.

People that are really sick

and they're just going to die,

no matter what I do.

You can't smoke in here!

Ah, f*** it. Give me a drag?

Honest to God, I think

I just need some stitches.

You are a p*ssy.

It's just a flesh wound.

[groans]

- You know...

- Bobby.

You know, Bobby, sometimes

I wonder why I do what I do.

Well, maybe before you try to cure

the sick, you ought to forgive them.

You're right.

Of course.

- I'm just a terrible doctor.

- Yeah.

[woman on P.A.] Dr. Farley, please

report to Admitting, Dr. Farley.

My leg?

Jesus Christ!

"You ought to forgive them."

You're pretty smart.

Here's how smart I am.

I know that now that old Willie

is back in the picture,

you don't have a shot

with my mom.

No shot at all.

Not that you ever did,

Mr. Old Soul.

Does she love him?

My mom has cleaned up

her act, a lot.

But there's one last thing she's

addicted to that she'll never shake.

- What's that?

- Misery.

Think you can walk?

Much obliged.

[grunts] Oh!

You should forget it. Willie eats

white boys like you for breakfast.

[man on P.A.] Dr. Martin,

please report to...

After a million miles

of bad road,

I can handle

a guy like Willie.

Yeah, yeah f***in' Willie.

[Vera] Taylor? Is that you?

What the hell happened to you?

I'll meet you outside.

Um...

It's kind of complicated.

Is it all right if I lie now

and tell you the truth later?

- Of course.

- I fell.

I'm so sorry.

This is a new look for you.

Yes, it's very Bo.

Oh, my, my, my.

It wasn't just

a "procedure", was it?

Of course not.

You know us old southern belles.

- Is it?

- Cancer? Of course.

F***.

My sentiments exactly.

If I may ask, where?

Oh... here, there, everywhere.

Are you scared?

I'm not afraid.

Dearheart,

my soul is an old pro,

but my body is a rookie who can't

seem to hit a sliding curve.

However, as your Sponsor...

No, Vera don't worry

about that.

I want to make sure...

[clears throat]

we got through all 12 steps

before I set sail

for The Great Perhaps.

So, taking three or four

giant steps at a time,

here's basically the idea.

So don't drink. Don't use.

Don't lie,

ever, to anyone,

especially to yourself.

Be kind.

Be fearless.

Be gentle.

Find God.

Talk to Him daily.

Then keep coming back.

What if I keep coming back...

and all of a sudden, I find

myself getting in way...

way too deep?

That's my favorite place

in the whole world,

too deep.

Oh, Lordy day,

to be young and in too deep.

You keep coming back, too. Okay?

Darling, I'll keep coming back

until I get it right.

So, after the accident,

my father took off.

Six months later they found him in a motel

room and I'll spare you the details.

I can't walk

and he kills himself.

What's up with that?

That's f***ed up.

I guess somewhere along the line

I decided to live.

But my mom, she didn't really

decide one way or the other.

So she just lives

and dies at the same time.

Then Willie showed up.

And, you know, the other stuff.

Let's get you home.

Listen, I just want you to know

before you jump into our lives, man,

this might be a good time

to reconsider.

- Whoo!

- Yo, faster! Come on!

- What?

- Go!

- Yeah! Come on! Whoa!

- All right. Here we go!

Yeah!

Whoa.

Whoa!

That was excellent!

- Whoo!

- Ow!

- [Taylor] Are you all right?

- [Bobby] Yeah.

What the hell?

Where's the van? What the hell

happened to your leg?

Willie.

Oh, sh*t.

What?

Him.

- [Taylor] ...I thought you were saying...

- [Bobby] Yeah.

[Taylor] Yeah, that's what I thought

you were saying the whole time.

You was just

waving your arms.

How in the hell was I supposed to

know what you were trying to say?

When I looked back to stop, I hit

the curb, and I swear to God,

I saw you go ten feet like a

ballistic missile or something.

That doesn't look so hot.

Yeah. Well,

it is what it is.

Take off your pants.

Well, an exit line if there

ever was one. Good night, kids.

Thanks for not

killing me, bro. [chuckles]

Whoa. We need to take you

to the hospital.

We went, but your son there

sent Dr. Farley

into an existential tailspin.

He was useless.

Am I hurting you?

Not in a bad way.

Why is a guy like Willie...?

I mean why is a guy like that even

in your world. I don't get it.

You don't know anything

about my world. You're too...

Young? I know.

Blah, blah, blah.

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