Krystal Page #5

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Why?

There is a kind of guy...

a kind of guy who figures out

exactly where you live.

And then he just moves in.

I got sober.

I did some house cleaning.

And out with the bad air

went Willie.

But Bobby says

that you'll go back to him...

whenever he wants.

I guess that's the kind

of mother I've been.

All right.

Sorry.

Um...

- What?

- Uh...

I think I should

put my pants back on.

Oh! Right. Sorry. Okay.

- No. No. Don't apologize.

- [chuckles]

Don't ever apologize.

He's going to show up here.

Tonight, tomorrow, sometime.

He's going to come for me.

And he's not gonna

like the sound of "no".

And he's not gonna like

the sight of you.

I wouldn't worry

too much about Willie.

I eat guys like Willie

for breakfast.

I haven't heard Bobby laugh

like that in a long time.

[bird chirps]

Beautiful.

Yes.

I was talking about the...

that bird's song.

A Savannah Finch.

I like that you know that.

I've had to give up...

just about everything

there is to give up.

But if you don't kiss me right

now, I think I'll go crazy.

- [Taylor chuckles]

- [Krystal] You have to be quiet.

- What time is she coming?

- Actually, it's her and her son.

I've made a lovely quiche with ham.

She's not a vegetarian, is she?

- No.

- Just an ex-hooker and a stripper.

No, she's not a vegetarian.

- Where is she from again?

- Who cares where she's from?

Savannah. There. Christ.

I'm going to have a mimosa.

Anyone care to join me?

- No!

- Why not? It's after one.

I told her we're all alcoholics

and that we can't drink.

- I'm not an alcoholic.

- Neither am I.

And neither am I and the only one in

this family who is an alcoholic is you!

And you're just pretending

to be an alcoholic

- so you can keep getting into her pants.

- F*** you!

- Oh! Taylor!

- Hey, Dad, come on. Listen to me, please.

- I told her we were all in the program...

- Why would you tell her that?

Well...

I can't remember but I'm sure

I had a very good reason.

- That is because you're p*ssy whipped.

- P*ssy whipped?

That's news,

don't you think, Wyatt?

- All these years wondering if he was gay?

- Oh, God!

- This calls for a drink!

- No!

- Perhaps a doobie?

- No!

- You're being an a**hole.

- No, you're being an a**hole!

- Boys.

- Tay-Tay, you can put on a wife beater

and hobnail boots

but I can still kick your ass.

Why are you dressed

like that?

Like some kind of,

I don't know what.

- A biker.

- But precisely, a biker.

Oh, big deal.

I bought a bike.

- What?

- You what?

It's all right.

Look, it's right there.

That's my hog.

Ain't she sweet?

Do you have a hernia?

Why are you walking like that?

- Bo.

- Bo?

- He's just being Bo.

- I'm lost.

All right, look.

Bo is this guy who...

Oh, this is pointless.

Look, Mom, you have your poems.

Campbell, you have your paintings.

Dad you have your books.

I have nothing except for my

horseshit heart, until now.

Now I have Bo. Bo is my work

of art, and I am in love.

You sound insane, boy.

Yes, I've gone mad.

I have become, at long last,

an Ogburn, and you all should

be very proud.

I am! Chivas anyone?

And by the way, you're all

a bunch of drunks and stoners,

and the only reason that you get away

with it is because you're all so fabulous

and brilliant

and good-looking.

Well, think I told Krystal you were

all in AA because you should be!

And if you call me Tay-Tay in

front of her, I swear to God...

Okay, Tay-Tay.

- You son of a b*tch!

- [Poppy screams]

- Oh, my God!

- That's enough!

Stop it!

Taylor! Campbell!

- Get away from him!

- That's enough!

Stop it! No more! Stop!

- Oh! Get up! Get up! Get up!

- [doorbell rings]

- She's here. She's here!

- Get up! Get up!

Oh, God. Hi.

- Hi.

- [crashing sound]

This is so crazy.

Oh, come on in. They're just

dying to meet you. Come on.

- Welcome.

- Excuse us.

Tay-Tay just made a mess.

I'm picking it up.

- I am so sorry.

- Hello.

- Hi. Oh, hi.

- I'm gonna check on the quiche.

Dad, this is Krystal

and her son, Bobby.

Welcome, welcome.

Krystal, is it?

Yes, it is. Krystal.

Krystal, it is.

- Krystal. Welcome.

- Krystal it is.

Well, can I get anyone an iced

tea or perhaps a lemonade?

- An iced tea would be lovely.

- I'll get it!

- Me too.

- Oh, yeah. Two, Wyatt. Two.

Well, why don't we

all sit down.

Let me take your coat.

Yeah.

You have a lovely home,

Mrs. Ogburn.

Oh. Please. Poppy.

Can I get you something

to drink?

- I think your husband's...

- Oh! [chuckles]

What in the world is keeping

my husband so long? Excuse me.

- Campbell...

- Hey.

...Taylor tells me

that you're a painter.

Oh, he told you

I'm a painter because...

I am a painter,

I am, that's right.

What a charming coincidence.

Wyatt? Wyatt!

What are you doing?

We promised no drinking!

I'm forced into what someone weaker

than myself would call a "confession".

Oh, stop flapping

your lips, tell me.

I know her.

Bobby.

Your eyes are so deep,

I'm drowning in them.

- That was too much, wasn't it?

- Just a bit, sport.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to the...

I'll be right back.

He's so shy.

Oh, yeah, he's just the...

the King of Shy.

I need to use the restroom.

- Let me show you where it is.

- Oh, bro. I can handle it.

- Just tell me where.

- Right, right.

- Uh, down the hall and to the left.

- All right.

F***.

Hey, you wanna

shoot that puppy my way, Ace?

I'm getting kind

of a bad feeling.

In your heart? Do we have

to go to the hospital?

- Do we have to go right now?

- No.

- Maybe we should go now. Just in case.

- No, I'm fine.

[Poppy] Oh, f*** you, Wyatt!

F*** you!

F*** you! F*** y...!

I bare you

no ill will, darling.

We women do

what we have to do to survive.

However, f*** you, Wyatt!

That's just her way of...

I don't know. Mom?

I gotta go. Where's...

Bobby?

How would you like it if I said

I had the hots for your mom?

Which I think I kind of do.

Maybe we can

work something out.

What the hell?

Goddamn it.

- Oh, sh...

- Uh-uh!

It...

Sh*t.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take it easy! Oh!

What...? What the f***?

I didn't do anything.

I was just...

- Shut up, Campbell. Wait!

- All right.

What happened?

You know,

I thought maybe, just maybe,

I could have one normal day

in my life...

with a normal family,

in one of those houses

you drive by and dream about,

just a normal f***ing day,

with my son.

Today can still be normal,

I swear to God. Right, Bobby?

I can't remember

what we're talking about.

That's because your brother

got him stoned.

And your father... Jesus!

Just when I think

I've got my life turned around,

my past comes and jumps up

and bites me in the ass

like a junkyard dog!

Ah, wait, wait, wait.

Just... just one moment.

I think there are some

situations that...

Normal? I'm an idiot.

You've just gotta learn to accept

the things you cannot... F***!

Sh*t.

Thanks a lot!

What happened?

Ask your father.

- Dad?

- Monkish silence is in order.

Oh, f***. Getting the kid high?

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