Kung Pow: Enter the Fist Page #2

Heh, Betty?

Hmm, sleepy time.

Come along.

Whoo ! Aah !

i must find if I too,

possess this special skill.

Remember, do not stop

until I give you the signal,

or dramatically throw you to

the ground and request a towel.

Im ready.

Ooh, ow ! You can't--

Could you please--

Er, uh,

should we keep going?

He said to hit him until he gave

the signal to stop.

Did anyone hear

the signal ?

Well, he was whining

for a while.

- Do you think whining was the signal ?

- Rr-rr !

Hey, whoa, easy.

We should wait a second or so.

- Hey, guys.

Come on. Oh, well.

- Hey, wait, wait.

He did say the part about

dramatically throwing us off his body.

Oh, thats right. Yeah.

Okay.

Go ahead.

Throw us off !

Hes not gonna die, is he?

You think he wants

his towel ?

- Hey, uh--

- Thats pretty still.

Maybe its time we should--

We better get home, guys.

Nobody say anything

to mom.

Hmm?

Hmm.

Hah !

I am Whoa.

Okay.

It is not yet your time.

You must not stand against Master Pain.

- It"s "Betty" now.

- Oh. You must not stand against Betty.

if you fight,

he will kill you.

You need special training.

You cannot defeat him now.

- Im-Im sorry?

- You cannot defeat him now.

I will defeat him.

If you can beat him, then you

should have no problem beating me.

Mm !

Ah ! Hmm, not bad.

- Whats wrong?

- The supreme gift.

- Hmm?

-You must trust the power of the tongue.

-Hmm?

- But I must warn you...

- Hmm?

in the meadow you will fiind

Bettys great protector, Moon Yew.

Avoid the meadow.

We will meet again, Chosen One,

many more times...

in the sequel.

Ow !

Well, at least

I have you, boy.

"Oh, Taco Bell

Taco Bell "

" Product placement

with Taco Bell "

- " Enchirito, macho burrito "

Master Tang,

what are you doing here?

- Ive come to kick ass.

- Oh !

I know you seek

the Chosen One.

And I know...

what you did to his family.

Now-- Ooh ! Oi !

Im going to beat you up !

Do you need a glass of water

or something?

-Jeez, at least cover your mouth !

- We"re all going to catch it !

- Fight... or die !

Okay, I"ll shake your bouncy booty !

Hit it !

"Can't touch this "

- Hmm !

- "Can"t touch this "

- Hmm.

- "Can't touch this "

" My, my, my, my "

"Fresh new kicks and pants "

" You gotta like that

Now you know you wanna dance "

- "So move outta your seat "

- Move. Seat.

- "And get a fly girl and catch

this beat while it's rollin'"

- Beat. Rollin".

- "Hold on "

- What"s the time?

- "Hammer time ""

Please, Betty. Master Tang is

unable to fight you. Hes pretty sick.

Why, I oughta-- Ooh !

Dont. Hell kill you

like a small dog.

Let your anger be

as a monkey in a piata,

hiding with the candy, hoping the kids

don"t break through with the stick.

- Aw, jeez. And now the snorting starts.

Im sorry. I must fight you

when I am stronger.

Good-bye, Sally.

Its Betty, you son of a pig.

The name is Betty.

But Chosen One,

I want to help you, but I--

I-I-I-I--

i-- i 'just can't.

I wont. Whee-ooh !

He wasnt at the restaurant.

Do you know where he is?

No, no !

Hell kill you.

Don"t go. Please.

Stay alive. Stay and live

a life here with me.

Ee-ooh-ee-ooh-ee !

Look, Ling, those curlicues on your face

make me so hot I can"t think straight.

He is well protected.

It"s impossible.

You"ll never make it.

Never make it.

Ever make it.

Never make it.

Never make it.

You"ll never make it, ever.

Don"t you see?

You can"t make it.

I implore you

to reconsider.

Hmm. Okay.

He spends his time at the top of

a waterfall, swinging a chain around.

There.

Youve got what you wanted.

Now go !

Hmm.

Remember, avoid the meadow.

- Hmm.

- Huh?

Ahh !

Hmm ! Hmm !

Whoa-oa-oa !

Hmm !

Hah ! Huh?

Hah ! Hah !

- Mm?

Huh? You like it?

Huh? Feels good, huh?

" Swingin" the chain

Swingin" the chain "

" Swingin" the chain

Swingin" the-- " Huh?

Well, you must be quite a fiighter

to make it past my cow.

What is it you want?

Evil Betty,

I"ve come to fiinish something

I should"ve done years ago.

Remember these?

Well, you"ve grown.

I thought you

looked familiar.

Sorry, I didn"t recognize you

without crap in your pants.

I"ve trained my whole life

for this day.

I spanked you as a baby.

Ill spank you now, b*tch !

- Good luck.

- Wait !

You mustn"t !

You are not ready !

- Who are you?

- Ling"s father. Oh-ee-oh-ee-oh-ee !

- Oh, dear.

- No one man can defeat Betty.

When you girls are done kissing,

Ive got some ass kicking for you !

I have to avenge

my family !

- Ohh !

At that moment,

the Chosen One learned

a valuable lesson about iron claws.

- They hurt like crap, man !

Chosen One ! Oh !

Shirt ripper !

Chosen One was clearly not ready.

He should have listened

to that one-boobed chick.

Hmm !

Water... everywhere !

Uuh ! All over me !

I"m... getting... wet !

Uuh ! i'm falling !

You're falling !

We"re falling !

A whale !

Mm-mm. Hmm.

Mmm, memento !

Huuh, Chosen One,

I am sorry.

I'll get you some help.

i'll get you some help.

Let me know if you see

a Radio Shack.

Hmm.

-Once again.

- With feeling.

One... of us...

is wearing... a pushup bra.

it's lacy--

Master Tang, please help me.

- Im bleeding.

- Hey ! I remember you !

Just like old times !

- Ah, Rikki-Tikki-Tavi ! Rikki-Tikki !

- Too tight ! Stop hugging me !

- I have a mortal wound !

- Where? Where does it hurt?

Oh, pretty much around

the big, bloody spot. Oh !

- Come inside. Ill get the Neosporin.

" Na na na na na "

" Neo "

" Na na na na na na na "

" Sporin "

Please, I"m dying.

You must listen to me.

I feel the Chosen One

may give up hope.

This must not happen.

The creature in his tongue,

although a little disturbing,

possess a great

supernatural power-r-r !

W-Without Tonguey,

the council is invincible.

They will come to Bettys aid.

Do you understand?

No.

I dont understand you.

- Aha !

- No. Don't do that. it hurts.

No, it"s good,

it"s good !

No, no, please.

I have a wound there.

Come on.

Don"t spoil everything.

This works for both of us,

huh?

Yeah-ahh !

The news of

your father weighs heavy on my heart.

Evidently, his wound

never closed up properly.

He gave his life for mine.

I"m so sorry, Ling.

He was my father

my entire life.

We were friends.

I loved him.

And now he"s dead--

except for his hair

and nails-- dead.

I don"t understand...

why people have to die.

Whee-ooh-whee-ooh-whee-ooh !

And now...

if-if I lose you--

Oh, man, I"m a little,

tiny, horny honey.

Mm.

- Hmm !

- Mmm !

- Mm-mm-mm !

- Mmm !

Ooh-whee-ooh !

Oh, but I don"t know.

It"s so soon.

I can"t remember the last time

I felt like this.

So ready for action.

So ready for love !

Hmm?

I need you now

in the worst way.

I can"t control it !

Take me, man meat !

But I don"t want you

to think I"m a slut.

- Huh?

What? What now?

How do I proceed?

Simba.

I... am not Simba.

I am the Chosen One.

Ah, yes.

I am Mu Shu Fasa.

You must not be troubled,

Cho-Simba One.

He took everything from me--

a family I never knew.

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