Kung Pow: Enter the Fist Page #4

"Cause I"ll show you hot.

Now try.

You have helped me reach

the next level.

And here I was starting to think

you were just a sadistic psycho b*tch.

So, what you--

what you guys doing later, huh?

I was just going

to hang out, but...

maybe we could get a pizza

or, you know,

scam some chicks

or something, right?

"Cause, um,

I don"t know--

I do like the ladies,

you know. I do like "em.

Hmm, I like-a them,

and they like-a me back.

Master Betty,

my compliments.

That tiny net

was surefiire.

Hmm, yes, a tiny net

is a death sentence.

It"s a net,

and it"s tiny.

Sure. At this very moment,

he"s out in a fiield,

rotting like a papaya,

while we"re in here,

cozy and enjoying the good life.

Huh?

Oh?

Oh, man !

This is all i need.

Hmm. Hmm.

Uh, E-Evil Council ?

I-I, uh,

got-got your message.

Hello?

N-Now batting, Mike Piazza !

Whoa. Oh, s-sorry,

Evil Council.

I-It"s just echoey,

and I--

No, that-that

is not possible.

Not again.

He has to be dead.

- No, no.

I can handle him,

but, of course,

welcome your assistance.

So he"s at the temple.

Thank you, Evil Council.

This guy is toast.

Tell me...

what you"re thinking.

Of how best

to deal with Betty.

But you"ve mastered

your technique.

You should be able

to beat him now.

I"m sorry?

But you mastered

your technique.

You should be able

to beat him now.

I got everything but the last part,

through "you should be able."

You should be able

to beat him now.

Perhaps, but wooden dummies

don"t fiight back.

While I"m ripping out the caps,

I"m completely defenseless.

For instance, the fiirst move

could be like this.

i could leap like a freak, then

throw in a back-snapping eel strike.

But he'd have

a clear shot at my ribs.

i could always pretend

i'm a bird.

But that would 'just look stupid

and leave my small,

sensitive balls completely exposed.

The best approach would be

to go for both caps at once.

No matter what the tactic,

they all have a flaw.

You should be able to beat him now !

No matter.

I think I have an idea.

We"re children !

We"re children !

We"re children ! We"re children !

We're children !

We're children !

- I"ll take a pound of nuts.

- That"s a lot of nuts !

That"ll be four bucks,

baby ! You want fries with that?

He just left with nuts !

I know you"re here.

My name"s Betty.

Nyah !

Huh?

Yaah !

- Waah !

- Shirt ripper !

Hit it.

" There's got to be a morning after ""

- " Whoa, Black Betty "

- Hmm?

" Whoa, Black Betty "

" Whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa "

" Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam

Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam "

"Black Betty had a child

bam-ba-lam "

" The damn thing gone wild

bam-ba-lam "

Hmm, I could dance

like that...

if I felt like it.

You killed my family,

and I don"t like

that kind of thing.

- Oh, goodness !

- " Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam "

" Whoa, Black Betty

Bam-ba-lam "

"Black Betty

Bam-ba-lam "

"Bam-ba-lam

Bam-ba-lam "

- "Bam-ba-lam, whoa, whoa

Whoa, whoa, whoa "

- My undies.

"Black Betty, bam-ba-lam

Black Betty got a child "

"Bam-ba-lam

Damn thing's gone wild, bam-ba-lam ""

Eh? Oh, doggie hump.

And then all hell broke loose.

Oh,yes, the council.

Ho-ho !

Yes, the Evil Council...

are aliens.

They"re French.

Ha-ha-ha !

Stinky pits and all, baby !

Okay, fire me up.

Oh,yes !

Ha ha ha !

Ha ha !

Oh, God.

Hmm, as you"ve

probably concluded,

the Evil Council

is based in France...

and will soon rise

to world domination.

Enjoy the paralyzer !

Huh?

Another paralyzer !

Say good night, floppy.

Hmm.

Your booties.

Do it for your family,

and so I can be in the sequel.

Stars above. Aliens.

Was I right or what?

Oh, you need

to open your mouth.

Sacrebleu !

Uh-- Huh?

Oh, no, guys. Come on !

Ouch. I fell

and hurt my tummy.

Thank you, squirrel friend.

Your soft, cushy body

helped absorb the force of his blow.

Now, for my part

of the bargain.

Chosen One !

Chosen !

Whee ! Whee ! Whee !

Chosen,

you"re alive.

It"s okay, Ling.

There"s nothing to worry about anymore.

That's what he thought.

What is your purpose?

Whee-ohh !

Hmm. I see you brought

your friends this time.

- " Whoo "

You mustn"t.

You are not ready.

Rub it all in my hair.

Let me know if you see

a Radio Shack.

He has great powers and is

well protected by the Evil Council.

He has great powers and is

well protected by the Evil Council.

And playback.

That's a lot of nuts !

- That-- Why don"t you

turn it down a little bit?

Open your mouth.

Yea-yea !

Okay, cut.

I-I can"t work with this thing.

Yea-yea !

At least the winking--

the winking has to stop. Stop the--

Yea-yea !

Look, I"ll get

some tweezers...

and choke you with a cotton ball,

you son of a--

- Okay, I"m gonna need a cup.

- Up and over !

And now he"s dead.

Oh, jeez.

I forgot my line again.

I think it"s--

Oh, thank you.

- Oh.

You don"t seem too sweaty--

"Be the Chosen One ""

No, don"t do that.

It hurts.

Cut ! Cut !

The director

said cut.

You should

stop that now.

Yeah,

I"m aware of that.

I"m rehearsing.

You know-- Rehearse.

From this day forward,

you will all refer to me

by the game--

- Oh, jeez. Did I say "game" ?

it was a long day.

Hey, is someone

going to come get me?

There"s like a hawk

or something.

Oh, dear.

That"s not good.

Um, Mr. Hawk,

could you please, uh,

stop with the leg-eating?

Oh, my.

Hey, it"s not funny.

What"s so--

He"s a predator,

for crying out loud !

Hey,'just because

you fade to black...

doesn't mean he's stopped.

He's still eating me.

i promise.

Somebody give me a stick !

Save the whales.

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